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Original poster

Friend turns out to be a sponging liar. What would you do?

99 replies

nenevomito · 03/10/2011 13:41

Lets say that you had a friend who when going through a break up with her ex claimed that she was so poor that she begged for your help with some things, so you bought her children clothes, paid some of her bills and in fact spent around £200 on Christmas presents and food for their children after said friend had claimed in tears that they would get nothing as they had no money at all to live on.

Now imagine that 9 months later while said friend is bitching about someone else who is struggling lets it slip that they had a couple of grand stashed away during their breakup, forgetting, apparently that they had had so much money from you. They also tell you about how they managed to keep it saved so they had bought a big ticket item with it, after you had the worst January ever paying off someone else's Christmas bill.

Would you...

a. Chalk it up to the fact that you were a mug, then cut them out of your life completely with no explanation as they deserve nothing more from you, not even words.

OR

b. Chalk it up to the fact that you were a mug, then cut them out of your life completely after telling them exactly why you were doing it, even if it makes you look like a screaming fishwife as you don't think you can trust yourself not to lose it.

OP posts:
schobe · 03/10/2011 13:43

b, without doubt.

Can you send them a bill claiming it was a loan?

Thieving swine.

GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck · 03/10/2011 13:47

I'm thinking b too.

Thieving cow.

Original poster
nenevomito · 03/10/2011 13:48

Just not sure I can trust myself to stay rational...

OP posts:
pictish · 03/10/2011 13:48

b

fivegomadindorset · 03/10/2011 13:49

b without a doubt.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 03/10/2011 13:49

b. from me too. In theory. Though I'm too much of a mug like chicken shit to say things when they need to be said. Having said that I have got bolder over the past year so may just manage it myself now.

What a fucking cow, seriously. I had a 'friend' like that and I think if I added the £££ up that I lent, spent on her and her children etc over the years it would add up to over a grand easily. But I couldn't bear to see her children eat next to nothing.The only way I could drop her is when I moved abroad, because I. Couldn't. Say. No....

Fuck knows what will happen when we move back this week should I have the misfortune to run into her, though I'm pretty sure the 'MUG' tattoo on my forehead has now faded considerably.

HedleyLamarr · 03/10/2011 13:50

Like the others, I'd go with b.

Original poster
nenevomito · 03/10/2011 13:50

Do you think email, or does it have to be face to face.

Last time I talked to her she was complaining about how hard up she was again. I am not sure I can actually talk to her without screaming like a banshee.

OP posts:
VelvetSnow · 03/10/2011 13:51

b definitely.

Always explain why, it's not nice to be kept in the dark.

VelvetSnow · 03/10/2011 13:52

email would be fine.

I'd accept an email as long as it was explaining why I was being blanked.

bintofbohemia · 03/10/2011 13:54

b. Bugger rational.

Twattingcuntybollocks · 03/10/2011 13:58

Definitely b. You would have every right to scream at her like a banshee.

What a horrible, nasty, greedy piece of work she is.

CristinadellaPizza · 03/10/2011 13:59

I'd do b. Can you plan what you're going to say, make your prepared speech and then turn your back and walk away before she has the chance to reply? Thus avoiding screaming fishwife impression.

What a fucking thief though - and how very nice a friend you are :(

ThePosieParker · 03/10/2011 14:01

b.....

KatharineClifton · 03/10/2011 14:04

b, and by email.

Chalk it up to experience and know you are the better person and made it a much nicer Christmas for her children. Good on you!

Original poster
nenevomito · 03/10/2011 14:04

Damn. I am going to have to talk to her.

It would be easier if I wasn't feeling so angry with myself for being such a Mug. I took on face value what she said to me and feel very used.

OP posts:
gapants · 03/10/2011 14:06

b- face to face, it will be the closure you need.

practise in front of the mirror and give it to her all guns blazing. Bloody greedy mare!

SwearyMary · 03/10/2011 14:06

B, and I wouldn't be able to keep calm. She would get the wrath of me. What a cunt.

CalamityKate · 03/10/2011 14:07

B, by email.

Unless you're articulate enough to explain in person.

Personally when I'm angry I splutter and swear and go completely inarticulate and end up not getting out half of what I meant to say. And of course she can always walk away, whereas nobody will leave an email half-read.

bintofbohemia · 03/10/2011 14:08

You are not a mug. She is bloody awful.

AmberLeaf · 03/10/2011 14:09

B. With bells on.

AnnetteProfit · 03/10/2011 14:09

a

b wont end well.

AnnetteProfit · 03/10/2011 14:10

DONT WRITE IT DOWN YOU LOON!
first rule of anything.

  • it makes you look unhinged,
  • it might go viral ( see prev comment)
LadyWord · 03/10/2011 14:13

In between a and b. Basically, a, but if they asked I would tell them the reason - calmly.

The trouble with b) is that someone who can do something like this doesn't have any morals or sense, so I wouldn't want to make a really bad enemy of them. Just back away.

ShoutyHamster · 03/10/2011 14:14

b.

And I disagree with Annette in that b. will end well, if the ending you want is to never have to deal with her sponging off you again because you'll no longer be 'friends'. And as long as you don't completely lose it and go too far with the screaming (I'd say email, cold, factual and making clear what a complete scheming cow you think she is) - I think you'll feel better for confronting her rather than not.