The Inclusive Academy of Sword Fighting Skills for the Vertically Challenged, Milton North Campus

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Selected master classes available in;

Beard Plaiting
Grimacing
Application of Prosthetics
Dragon Taming

Please make welcome our <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.ramascreen.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Hobbit-thorin-richardarmitage.jpg&imgrefurl=www.ramascreen.com/the-hobbit-first-look-at-thorin-oakenshield&usg=__O91GQN2kC1_7KRh88mB40XHMmYw=&h=1600&w=2400&sz=1063&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=KHapa_DPfVYNhM:&tbnh=137&tbnw=174&ei=2UkkTraJC4a38gPS2PGkAw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dthorin%2Bpictures%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1920%26bih%3D880%26tbm%3Disch%26prmd%3Divns&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=1270&vpy=422&dur=1623&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=143&ty=96&page=1&ndsp=54&ved=1t:429,r:41,s:0&biw=1920&bih=880" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">new lecturer.

All with very odd names, mind you,. Are you going to carry on using them?

Night night Small. I hope your luck is in. Er, would a dwarf king fit the bill or not?

No.

Hi ho, hi ho...

Anyone still here?

::staggers in::

::rolls eyes:: at all the continued beard nay-sayers.

Here's something for you to think about at the meet-up, What are we going to send him as a 40th birthday present? There's at least one loon on Twitter (I said I did a lot of research last night) mulling over what would be an appropriate gift, so we need to get our dwarfish thinking caps on. We could then pounce on him in the street, to hand it over. That wouldn't be mad or intrusive at all, oh no.

::Prays to assorted deities that people realise she's being sarcastic::

I'll make him a cake, Maud. Then if we don't see him we can just eat it ourselves .

There's at least one loon on Twitter (I said I did a lot of research last night) mulling over what would be an appropriate gift

Really? How very odd.

I like LadyD's idea! Especially considering the likelihood of encountering him on the street.

I think the odds of meeting him in the street must be quite high. I mean, we'll be in London and he LIVES in London. We're bound to see him. Surely?

Yes, LadyDamerel, really. I find it bizarre on so many levels - only one of which is that the man himself has asked fans not to send him random tat well-chosen gifts but to donate to charity instead. Meanwhile, what chest size do you think he is?

::Gets out knitting needles and large bale of Aran yarn ::

::Realises that her last question may have sent some ladies into a reverie::

So, LadyDamerel, are you planning to camp out in Leicester Square between your CA trip and his birthday?

::Packs crate with blankets and cup-a-soups for you::

::snaps out of reverie::

London is a big place don't you know...

Do you think women would be quite as deranged over the Man if he were married? Or is it the fact that he is single and therefore there is, technically, a chance that he may decide that one of the deranged loons his fans is his ideal woman that make them behave so oddly?

Colin Firth had an equally huge impact on the female psyche when he played Darcy but there didn't seem to be the craziness that the Man attracts. Was that because he was married or is that the advent of Twitter and the like just means you are aware of all these people now, whereas CF fans were only able to confess all the secret weirdness to their diaries which is where it really ought to all stay?

::adds Maud's crate to pile of supplies::

I'd say he is about a 3..... sorry, where was I?

CF fans were only able to confess all the secret weirdness to their diaries

Instead of setting up Academies, you mean, LadyD?

Actually, much weirdness goes on in many fandoms I have come across.

Bum, DH coming up,

LadyVenetia - Tsk, tsk for your scepticism. It's obvious that cosmic forces will dictate that the Man will be walking through Leicester Square just as LadyDamerel emerges from her bivouac clutching her gourmet cake. It's destiny, innit?

LadyDamerel - This is something on which I mused in the earlier incarnations of this Academy - not so much about his not being married, but about the fact that electronic media put so much information within reach and provide opportunities for aficionados to share their lunacy enthusiasm (witness this thread). None of this was possible in the halcyon days when one sent off a £1.50 postal order to join the David Cassidy fan club and received a quarterly newsletter in return.

Good night ladies!

Ah, those were the days. But they used to do pretty well on the lunacy front, even then.

I've just been reading about Nijinsky in the Telegraph. Now there was a lorst cause. This woman secreted herself on his cruise liner and ended up married to him. Just how she achieved this feat was not made clear, so don't bother to go looking for tips...

Uzi, it's time you were out on the tiles

Goodnight, all.

::Looks back at you::

How timely that you should mention Nijinsky. I was thinking earlier, pace that rather splendid picture of The Beard, that it is verging on the Romanov.

Well he certainly could play Czar Nicholas, considering some of his earlier performances

Eh?

::Goes to research the saucier bits of Russian history::

::Wonders whether there were any saucy bits to Russian history::

And on that thought I bid you a final good night.