Screaming child next door......

[allouttalove]

I'm not sure what to do, have just had previous horrible neighbours move out. These neighbours seem lovely, although have only spoken on a few occasions... they have a one year old (not sure exactly how old) and every night about 7.30pm this child screams, I mean really screams.......it's very upsetting. Doesn't seem to upset my kids too much as it usually seems to start around the time I put them to bed. It usually lasts about 30mins or more sometimes. I can only imagine it is controlled crying. On the one occassion I have spoken to the mother she said it was "teething" and "sorry" about the crying. It has been going on for a few months. Am at the point of getting advice, but not sure what or where to get advice from. I live in a small town, so not easy, but this child just sounds so distressed, I don't know how any mother can hear their child scream like this.....any advice/experience in this greatfully received!!!

I sound a bit wet in that post but am willing to intervene if necessary, just not sure whether to ring social services, NSPCC or local HV.....

I would do nothing

some horrid people do this to their children

to you

Some children scream, and they hit the terrible twos from the age of one. My dd1 was like this, a huge screamer. Thankfully I had understanding neighbours and good insulation.

I don't think there is any evidence for the NSPCC to go on. Some children just cry.

really, some children just cry?

I must have been lucky with my three and all the babies of poeple who are my friends

they only cried when they needed something...

DO nothing? Really? Is it ok NOT to get involved? Is this just controlled crying....??? I mean, what if it IS abuse of some kind.....I mean I dread to think, but there is always a shread of doubt....would people really make it OBVIOUS if they were hurting their child??

'just' controlled crying...

I mean, it's not just crying as in "i'm fed up and don't want to go to sleep" crying.....it's not teething...too old and too consistent...it is blood curdling....like either "don't leave me in a dark room to go to sleep" (shudder) or something else (vomit)

I am completely controlled crying btw

Where is the evidence that the child is being left to cry? You can hear the child crying but that is not to say that the child is shut in a room left alone. My children certainly weren't alone and dd1 still cried.

If it's 30 mins at the same time every night I would think that the child may have sleeping problems/is maybe overtired/perhaps hates being bathed but wouldn't think of anything more serious than that tbh. Is the child nearer to one or two?

how is the child otherwise when you see him/her?

If it's hard for you to listen to just think how much harder it is for the poor parents.

What do you think they would be doing to her to make her cry? You might disagree with controlled crying - but its not abuse in the eyes of the law - and it does work for some children

wihtout medical reason like reflux why would a child cry

if it's only once a day at the same time I would be inclined to think it's not abuse.

It could be controled crying (though if it's that you'll hear the crying subside as they go back to the child)

It could be CIO (horrid imo -but not somehting i think SS would take too seriously if it's the only issue)

It could be the child is screaming because they're a screamer.

and yes - some children do scream, and yes there's usually a reason. However, DS3 used to scream at bedtime because he WANTED to stay up... that wasn't an option as he was always a much happier boy after he'd had a nights sleep.

DS1 screamed for the first 6 months of his life - sod all wrong with him - he just screamed.

'not abuse in the eyes of the law' and that makes it ok?

My ds who is 1 has taken against baths, he screams like he's being tortured. He also cries when getting dressed. Children cry, big deal.

Also I don't get your at being left in a dark room to sleep . Where else would you leave them to sleep?

belgo~ I can only assume it is being left to cry as it sounds so desperate and I can't hear talking (you can hear the adults talking if they do go into the room) I can also hear a door being shut, my children also cried when overtired, but would NEVER scream desperately if they could see me. In fact I can never remember a time I have heard my children cry in this way (or any other child I have been with for that matter) even when in pain.
cOrns~ I am assuming it's controlled crying as I don't hear it at any other time and spend a fair amount of time putting my kids to bed with stories and stuff, so have noticed it is usually around 7.30, but I have heard at other times. I think the child is probably around 18 months at most....
Would a child really scream like this with controlled crying?

Maybe it's a sweeping statement but I would be more concerned about children who never cry, who have learnt that it's not worth the effort, who simply don't have the energy to cry because they know it will not get them the attention they need.

why would a baby cry? Because it's a hard fucking world, and some humans - even baby humans - are attuned to that more than others.

actually my niece screamed and screamed. I think she was dairy intolerant in retrospect, but at the time my SIL was taking her back and forth to the doctors to be fobbed off with platitudes like 'growing pains'.

sorry missed a few posts.....getting into the whole controlled crying debate here, which is not really my point.

Probably crying from being overtired.

Op you are making a lot of assumptions and I really don't think there is much for the NSPCC to go on.

Both mine went through a stage of screaming blue murder when being bathed and hairwashed, something they both had loved previously and went on to love again when the 'phase' had passed.

I still washed them