I married an illegal immigrant - AMA

[Annie834]

I married a man who entered the UK as an illegal immigrant. After 5 years of relationship and two years of living together, we applied for his visa on grounds that he is my ‘durable life partner’ (this was while EU law was still applicable in the UK, I’m a EU citizen with settlement status). We went via an immigration lawyer and were upfront about the fact that he entered the UK illegally (not that this could have been concealed anyway). The application was successful and he was granted pre-settled status. We then got married a couple of years later and had a child.

I will answer any questions, but might not engage in wider discussions about illegal immigration, there are enough threads about that topic and this is an AMA.

Prepare for a lot of hate . As long as you aren’t a drain on the state and work then each to their own .

Are you still married, if so are you happy?

Did he claim asylum when he first came here?

Yes, still married. Some ups and downs recently but that’s more due to life stress as working parents with a small toddler.

No, he knew that he didn’t qualify for asylum, he came to the UK for economic reasons.

How did you meet?

Do you not worry that he dated and married you for the wrong reasons?

Why did he come here and how did you meet?

Why did he move to the U.K. originally? Economic reasons or political etc? Is there a reason that coming over illegally was the only option? (Not being goady. An honest question.)

Not a bash, but why come to the uk? We're not known for welcoming immigrants at all.

Just the normal, old fashioned way. I was in a pub with friends, so was he, and we started talking.

Sorry x post.

What country did he come from? Can you go back and visit his family etc or does he need to stay here? (Not sure how visas work!)

How was he supporting himself — I mean, presumably he was limited in the kind of work he could do? A friend volunteered with children who’d entered the UK illegally, and they often disappeared into the black economy just before their 18th birthdays. It was heartbreaking, as it made them terribly vulnerable.

Yes, it was a shock when he told me (3 months into our relationship). I took a huge step back and in my head, took it as ‘nothing serious, just for fun’ situationship when he told me. But I continued seeing him because I felt a strong connection. After getting to know him better and his personality, I just didn’t get the impression he’d date for a visa, but it took me a long time to trust him.

How does he find life here. Is he content with his job?

I’m not the OP, but my parents were illegal (economic) migrants a few good decades back, to a country that’s not the UK. Having learnt their story and those of their families and friends who did the same, I can say that very few people ask themselves “does the country have a welcoming reputation?” when they decide to migrate.

I moved countries three times before the age of 25 - all legally, for study or work purposes - and I can also say that question never featured at all in my thoughts. I was doing what was best for my future, including moving to one of the coldest, less welcoming nations in Europe, where it took my 3 years to learn the language to a medium level, and where I cried when I moved again because somehow I’d come to see them as very warm 😂

Was this Hungary?! A friend of mine had a very similar experience there

Summing up a few Qs about why he came:
It was for economic reasons, he didn’t see any perspective in his home country. I often asked him whether it really is so impossible to make a good living in his home country, but he is adamant that there are no opportunities and that everyone tries to leave and work somewhere else. There are no political reasons or unrest, it’s purely because of bad economy and corruption.
This is what he says, I don’t know if it’s a ‘grass always greener’ case. The UK is seen as the holy land, rightly or wrongly so.

Not Hungary, I don’t think they have the reputation of being as cold but perhaps are a match on the “making you feel unwelcome” part!

Now he can, he has the right to live and work in the UK and can go and enter as he wants. Obviously we couldn’t travel during the first 5 years of our relationship.

Yes, that was a big issue at first. He worked cash in hand for £50/day 8am-8pm as a labourer because he was vulnerable to exploitation and there are people who take advantage of that. Eventually he made connections and because he is a hard working, reliable and talented person, he managed to get employed by a construction company. They employed him under the name of a distant family member who had the right to work in the UK and since then he had regular income.

He questioned his choices and life here at first (see my previous post), but once he managed to get employed he was very happy just to be able to work and earn money.
And yes, he enjoys the construction industry. Since getting his visa, he started his own business.

Do you support economic illegal migration?

Also, I do have respect for people who move for economic reasons. I know completely open borders can’t work, but if I was stuck in a place I felt was terrible… I’d do everything I could to leave. I’d definitely see ‘illegal‘ immigration as a challenge and a victimless crime. All our influencers in Dubai and shows like ‘new life down under’ show that the only reason people in the uk don’t move illegally is that the have too much to lose. If you’ve got nothing to lose…

Where is he from?