This is not true. A woman is not only more but MOST likely to be assaulted or killed by a partner.
I know this is long, but it’s not a simple
issue. Pretty much the entire thread is women (unintentionally) lifting themselves up by pushing down sex workers as people, to benefit men. Women privileged enough to either be willing or able to manage on the money, and the energy remaining, from another source (often a man, and that’s relevant) want to distance themselves from sex workers at best, and blame them at worst. Because it makes them feel safer and more valued by men in a patriarchy. Why do women want to devalue not just transactional sex, but the women who sell it? Because it allies them with men who do, and those men have power. Why do men want to devalue sex workers? Because they value sex highly and want control of its value to benefit themselves and to exploit other men. Women are just collateral damage.
Why, as women, are you so uncomfortable with sex having valid, objective, monetary value in isolation? Because that’s all this comes down to.
Sure, it’s using your body for money. So is ballet. So is cleaning. So is removals. So is professional sport.
Sure, it has health risks. So does any physical job. Ask a tree surgeon. A nail tech. A vet.
Sure, it can be degrading. It’s pretty bloody humiliating being reliant on benefits, though.
Sure, men can be dicks. That’s about them They are dicks to anyone they have power over. Retail assistants, serves, wives. Whoever.
Sure there is a risk of violence. Is it higher than domestic abuse?
Sure, bad men pay for sex. But that’s not what makes them bad. Claiming entitlement to sex for free with no obligation is MUCH WORSE, because it is exploitation. Paying a days wage for an hours work to a sex worker gives sex intrinsic value, and a high one at that, and the women who sell it control over whether they sell it or not. That’s BAD FOR MEN (who blame women). It isn’t, if the women has capacity and viable accessible alternatives, inherently exploitative. Although men want it to be. Men can’t have all women walking around knowing they have that value, with no training, skills, experience, costs - and men don’t, and can’t!!! It would be CATASTROPHIC for men if all women had that power! They could just …walk away. From abusive fathers, controlling (or just unfulfilling) marriages, shitty jobs and ageing parents. They could provide for their children without men. Men wouldn’t be able to control children and mould future patriarchy. All men would have to BE MORE and work harder for less reward. Men who pay for sex are in the most fundamental and transactional way openly acknowledging that sex has value and they owe women something for it. That’s awful for men who expect it for nothing or the bare minimum. ESPECIALLY if women have viable alternatives, like equal career opportunities, liveable benefits and aren’t being exploited by other men. Especially if the price, and therefore value, are high. So they frame sex as different from other physical work and shame women who sell it. They isolate them from other women. From you.
The only issue I have with it is the level of exploitation and violence. And that’s is because sex workers are social pariahs with minimal voice and often very limited power. And that is mostly down to you, ladies. This thread and the women on it are doing more harm to more sex workers than men using them are. You are all working for the patriarchy because it has short term benefits for you and is easier. And demanding sex workers pay the price. You are exploiting sex workers for your own gain. he best thing you can do is allow sex workers to be real, complex people and stop forcing them into slut/abused child victim/tax dodger/benefit fraud boxes. That’s the real damage to all women here.
If the OP should come back, she should know that she doesn’t need to be a happy whore to justify being a sex worker. Or to justify her choices through trauma. Or to perform empowerment or victimhood. Or to be ashamed of providing for herself and her family by ascribing a value to sex when the patriarchy needs it to be simultaneously priceless and worthless. She is a real, complex person and not a trope. It can be just be a job. You can leave if you want to. Or keep on if it works better than the alternatives. It can be just the way of making a living that works best for you right now. Good days and bad. It doesn’t have to define you and it certainly doesn’t devalue you. It MIGHT be any of those things. Or none. And it might change as you grow. That’s for you to tell us. All we need to do is society is enable your autonomy by providing genuinely accessible alternatives and validating your choice as a human. That’s all.
Thanks for answering questions and normalising sex work. Good luck with your future. Be proud of surviving your abusive family and marriage and making a life for yourself with fewer than average privileges and for being honest with people who don’t value you and aren’t entitled to your time. And of being a woman in a patriarchy working against it, even if that’s not why you’re doing it. It’s why it’s hard.