I still breastfeed my 5 year-old

[TandemFeeder]

I’ve had another baby too so am now a tandem feeder. Happy to answer any questions.

A very limited response to those adults who were BF.
If you actually read the comments there was other issues on top of BF that were negative. Traumatic childhoods

In most children the memories from 4/5/6 tend to be based on highly positive or highly negative experiences.

I don't remember much from that age. I remember specific events which had major positive or negative experiences.

My children know they were BF (it's not a secret but equally it isn't discussed) but they don't remember feeding as such

Already covered this but don’t mind releasing because I think it’s important for people to know. When you have a newborn, the advice is that you always feed them before the older nursling to ensure that they get the colostrum they need.

Natural term breastfeeding is between 5 and 7 actually - not over a year ‘max’.

Breastmilk does not lose its benefits and the feedback from the child to the mother’s body continues to provide useful antibodies for as long the breastfeeding continues.

We’ve not yet started friend sleepovers. But no, I can’t imagine giving our usual bedtime feed in that situation.

But that’s when he’ll need it most- wait until after the exams are over

edit- sorry I’m tired and misread- you are waiting until after GCSEs

Do you not worry that your DC will be negatively impacted by clearly remembering being BF? A PP said they had that, but your response was “that’s not our experience”. But that’s now…what about in the future?

On the losing teeth question, I think this is a slight myth, it's certainly not impossible for even an adult to extract milk if they really want to - without wishing to invoke any grim images, I've heard of husbands "helping" with blocked ducts (in extremis when the woman was in pain for example).

I know I read it when my own DS was 4 and I wondered if he would ever stop and whether I would need to step in. I decided to use the first wobbly tooth as a marker at that point whether the idea of the jaw changing shape to accommodate adult teeth was true or not. And I didn't need it - and it seems anecdotally (Ann Sinnot's book Breastfeeding Older Children was illuminating) that it is an extremely tiny minority of children still feeding by this age and so it might be more of a correlation/observation/assumption than anything else. Most self wean earlier or some combination of the child becomes less reliant and the adult makes a choice to discourage or limit.

Again anecdotally - but it seems that even a few weeks after stopping most children "forget" how to latch. They lose the ability to do it. Once you've been feeding for that long, milk continues to be produced for a good few weeks, months sometimes after the demand has gone. It's in smaller quantities and doesn't leak but if you hand express or use suction it is still there.

I BF mine, but TBH I find this really creepy… not because it’s unusual, but because it’s fucking weird. I feel sorry for the kid because he doesn’t know it’s weird and probably assumes all his friends do the same with their mum, so could lead to some embarrassing conversations for him.

The milk apparently does start to change from quite early on. Some children wean then (or maybe they would have weaned anyway - who knows?). Others continue. Some stop for a bit and pick it up again. My DS used to say it tasted like ‘foam rubber.’

Around six-ish months the milk usually dries up completely for a bit. Again some children wean then. Others go on dry nursing. Some stop and start against. Colostrum usually comes in around month seven.

Also that he “enjoys it” - sorry but why is he enjoying sucking his mums tit? If you believe there are still health benefits then fine, express and give him a cup of it a day, but come on! You’d still BF him if he broke his leg… WTF? He shouldn’t be asking to suck his mums tit because he’s hurt himself. Very fucking weird.

My friend did this. The kids were happy with it and so was she. Nobody was mean to her. It provides immunity to children. Can’t see any problem with it.

For the record, I have discussed this with two different psychologists and both have been fully in favour.

This. I was going to say, I know I was breast fed, but I’m SO glad it ended before my memories were this clear! I absolutely would NOT want memories of sucking on my mother’s boobs. It would be a very uncomfortable feeling, even though, as you say, I’m sure I’d have been fine with it at the time as it would be “normal” in my child-brain.

I feel bad enough for remembering co-sleeping, so this would be too much. I don’t think it’s fair on the child to continue this long, they don’t know any better, it’s the parents job to realise that there is a better way to provide “comfort”.

Agree it’s weird to breast feed a 5 y/old

Yes my thoughts on this one were similar.

Nope. It’s definitely you that’s the weird one. Breasts are for mothers to feed their children, that’s their purpose. Any further meaning that society has placed on them is irrelevant.

Most of the antibody benefit comes from the feedback from the child’s saliva so no, expressing does not do the same thing. Also comfort and closeness is important to a developing brain so direct feeding is multiply beneficial.

Honestly no, this is not something I’ve ever had concerns about.

Well done! My great-grandmother fed all 7 kids until that age in the 1900-10s. And she was a busy pub landlady.

I fed my youngest until he was 4. The others gave up at 15 and 30 months.

She breastfed an 8 or 9 year old at a party? Why??

comfort cannot be the reason surely? If your 8 year old needs to suckle on the breast in order to feel comforted then imo that’s a significant failing on behalf of the parent. There are so many other ways to comfort your child.

this parent sounds like a bit of an exhibitionist or attention seeker at the expense of her children sadly.

There are a number of less typical things children do at that age that when their peers find out, it’s followed them through all of primary school and into high school. It’s not “fair” but school aged kids can be cruel - and on that side alone I’d start strategising a more realistical approach to this and what’s normal in the UK. All the Facebook support pages in the world aren’t going to protect him.

Again this was my thinking too. I just can’t imagine it coming any more than, ‘I brush my teeth at bedtime’ would. Even if he did say, ‘My mummy gives me milk at bedtime,’ I doubt anyone would cotton on or be very interested. Knowing his current group of peers, I truly can’t see it being an issue. However I do intend to keep an eye on things as he gets older.

Yep. What 6 year old enjoys being in their mums tit! My brother certainly didn't. It's really fucked up.

I didn’t know this! Thanks for posting.

Hahaha I love this comment 🤣

S