I still breastfeed my 5 year-old

[TandemFeeder]

I’ve had another baby too so am now a tandem feeder. Happy to answer any questions.

extended breastfeeding perfectly natural and normal in many cultures

@TheTwinklyLilacSquid which cultures and where?

I really can't bear the way people talk about 'cultures around the globe' without any evidence. Not just in the context of breastfeeding but it's usually any practice they themselves have taken up and want to present to others as natural and superior to everyone else.

So many of you are claiming that extended breastfeeding is normal in many cultures but nobody is actually able to name exactly where. I suspect those people have a dim memory from many years ago of a National Geographic magazine or an ancient but popular paperback anthropological study where 'natives' were free and easy and let it all hang out unlike their own uptight parents in Surrey.

Reduces risk of cavities and the need of brazes to correct poor teeth alignment.

Thanks for sharing. Yes it is led by my child.

I said anecdotally so I can only speak from experience growing up with family there and spending some time there visiting my own kids, not googling or looking at any official statistics. The median age is 1.8, which will account for some babies who weren't bf at all and some children who were bf until older. It's possibly not that common but I certainly don't remember anyone being as worked up about it as people here seem to be 🤷

The stats and evidence don't match up to this. Anecdotally we could say anything, anecdotally all the children i know who have been breastfed beyond toddler hood are sickly and seem to catch every bug going (I have been noticing and observing this for some time following my guilt about how much I struggled breastfeeding DD, who btw is hardly ever ill)

I once saw a woman feed a school aged child in school uniform on a London bus! The child looked older than reception age too but obviously hard to know. I think a feed at bedtime is nice (but I’m a softy who still sleeps with my 6 yo!)

It’s because breastfeeding produces the ‘feel good’ hormone oxytocin and that can bring on contractions. From what I understand it’s only the case for a small minority of women and it’s not been proven to actually be problem? However, understandably, they’re generally advised to stop breastfeeding as a precaution.

Good for you. Breast milk is an evolving, living liquid. Immunity that alters daily and is bespoke to the unique individual feeding doesn’t come from food. The complexity of breastfeeding benefits is lost on so many.
Also, the name “milk teeth” exists for a reason! 👏👏👏

I just think it’s important to help normalise it and to bust some of the many myths out there.

Other cultures, particularly in non-Western countries, often don’t have a widespread childhood vaccination programme to continue to give immunity after weaning. In that situation it makes sense to breastfeed as long as possible.
For me stopping around 3 years max is long enough so they don’t remember it and are able to get all the nutrients they need from a varied weaned diet.

That's really sad. Slight tangent but why would 6 year olds even know about "bitty" (who's showing them that awful sketch or telling them about it?). I think if us adults in society didn't make it such controversial thing then probably the kids wouldn't care either. Terrible your brother suffered so badly though.

I don’t think it comes from a particular country, I think it’s from the WHO stats which say worldwide the average bf age is 2 to 4 which obviously means that as there a lot of people that stop before 2 there must therefore be a lot of people that carry on after 4, hence the average.

@keepingonrunning which 'cultures' exactly?

Not AIBU. But definitely not meaning to imply that everyone should do this either. Apologies if I’ve ever come across that way as it absolutely was not my intention.

@Lilactimes I think you were talking about how the child who is feeding treats the mum and the breasts. For me I was very hot on bf nursing manners. No pinching, biting etc from a young age. No grabbing etc. But everyone feeds differently, I know that BF mine definitely helped when they were poorly and narrowly avoided hospital and dehydration luckily a few times as they could keep it down. No idea about chicken pox as I got my kids vaccinated against it at a young age. I just find it fascinating some people's very visceral angry or disgusted reactions. When BF is one of the most natural acts in the world 😇

@TandemFeeder no I think you have been very fair and clear. Some of the posters have been a bit hysterical 😉

Again this has never ever been my intention. Sincerest apologies if anybody has interpreted anything I’ve said that way.

I'm just thinking back to when mine were 5/6 years of age and they were 4ft + , how do they even feed as you can't hold them like a baby, young toddler. Also milk teeth can stay put until 8 years of age.

I think it’s hard as a parent of a 5 year old having watched their Christmas show, help them write their name and drop them off for play dates to fit that with breastfeeding which to me is linked with babyhood and small infants. I just can’t imagine my daughter crying and wanted to breastfeed now there’s something really weird about it. Good for you if you’re happy but school age seems like a sensible time to stop.

We only feed at bedtime now. So no, there’s be no need to do that.

Oh, you’re alright @TandemFeeder. That was to another poster whose offensive post MNHQ deleted.

the bitty comments weren't when he was 6, but they did happen in primary school which goes up to age 11.

@DistantSkyeyoure right, I haven’t. I’m sure you’re right that perceptions are different. I just find on breastfeeding threads so many people will say it’s very common all over the world to extended breastfeed, but actually over 5 years is not what’s meant by “extended breastfeeding” in almost all definitions (it’s over 2 years). Anyway each to their own!

I’ve never really had a plan. But yes if something exceptional happened I would re-evaluate.