I still breastfeed my 5 year-old

[TandemFeeder]

I’ve had another baby too so am now a tandem feeder. Happy to answer any questions.

My DD is not yet 1 and I’ve honestly never thought about it.

I personally don’t think a child of 5 or 6 needs the comfort of bf, they only do because that’s what they know, like kids who won’t relinquish their dummies long after they should. The house training example was to show if you put in a bit of effort you don’t need to be tied to bf for more years than you need.

Interesting thread. I do find that mumsnet can be quite negative about breastfeeding in general, so it's good to hear a bit of balance. I can't understand how something natural can be so controversial.

Did not know that! So interesting. It's a shame there is such a stigma against breast feeding in this country.

This . Couldn’t agree more . Thank you btw for being calm , kind & rational throughout this thread x

I think if we lived in a society where bf past the age of 2-3 wasn't considered so unusual to the point where parents and more importantly their children faced ridicule over it then it wouldn't be so bad.

As it stands we do live in that type of society so my stance would be that no child should really be getting bf past the age of 3 maximum in order to avoid the potential of being bullied at school if anything else. It should be the responsibility of the parent to explain to the child that they no longer need to receive comfort in that form and to show their children various other ways of comfort such as hugs etc.

The child will eventually learn just as they do with other things such as no more dummies or with potty training etc. It just takes that initial bit of effort. What I'm sensing is a bit of parental laziness in having to temporarily dissapoint the child and deal with potential meltdowns, as opposed to it just being a need to provide a child with much needed comfort.

It is lovely being able to feel like you can give your child what they need and provide their comfort but there should be a limit on this set out by parents for the sake of the child in their school years.

Maybe David Coulthard had extended bf? 😁

No, not all of them. The ability to latch is lost quite rapidly once they start to fall out. It usually happens between 6 and 7 and rarely later than 8.

Just thought I would say my thoughts as OP hasn’t got to you yet.

For me, it’s very much we will cross that bridge if we come to it situation, but I think if we hit 7 or 8 and there’s no sign of stopping I would look at weaning (DD is nearly 5)

Just wanted to say thank you for posting this. I fed my oldest until he was 4y10m, and weaned him because I was pregnant with my second. Child number 2 breastfed until he was 6 - although I then stopped him because it was becoming painful (presumably because of his teeth changing?). Like you, it had dropped to a feed to sleep, and maybe a morning one if time allowed. I'd say it was driven by my children, but also a slight laziness from me, not being able to face the battles of stopping feeding (neither of mine seemed keen to self-wean!). But it felt natural to me to allow them to carry on, and I love hearing stories from other mums who have done 'extended' (ie biologically normal) breastfeeding. Xx

Sorry if this question has been asked, not had time to rtft but can I ask why you wouldn't feed in public? (Unless he asked)

This is excellent for reducing your breast cancer risk!

I think you're exaggerating this about antibodies.

The antibody benefit is for babies who have underdeveloped immune systems. Babies are vulnerable to the common cold virus for example.

By the time a child is 5, their immune system has developed and it's been exposed to many challenges.

No amount of breast milk is going to give them the antibodies to the common cold (which mutates thousands of times) and of course your child has been vaccinated against the 'killer' diseases of the past.

I’m sure I read this somewhere but can’t find it now. What explanation would you give?

I fed ds until his 5th birthday, it was only at bedtime. I was ready to stop then and I thought he was too so I just said it was finished now that he was a big boy but we would still have lovely cuddles. He was happy with that. I had no intention of going on for that long when I started but it didn’t seem important to stop any sooner, we were both happy, so we continued!

All I’ve read on here so far is ‘there are cultures’ but, unless I’ve missed it, no actual culture has been said. And what are the chances that the culture is not a Western one but a third world/under developed one.

Well it is a tad strange, even just from the perspective that a 6yo child is big - it must be tricky physically. I also think 6yos are at a brilliant age where their independent skills are really flying ahead, settled in school, decent reading as well as fine motor skills... the BF days really ought to be behind you? I bf both my children until they were 2, including eldest while I was pregnant with youngest.

The question is for you OP!

Elderly people with no teeth or dentures can still suck through a straw.

I can honestly say that no, that has never crossed my mind.

Would you still breastfeed both your children if you had another child?

I genuinely can't imagine a child aged 5 latched onto a breast and feeding.

It feels wrong and is really for the mother's benefit.

Once a child is weaned, they don't need milk at all. There are many cultures where they don't drink any milk or BF beyond weaning.

Hard as I try to, OP, I cannot see why you do this.

I don't think, even after almost 1K posts, you've been clear or honest about your own mindset.

I can only assume it's a bedtime ritual like reading a story and settling them down, but the pleasure is all yours as it makes you needed, in some way.

In western society, seeing a child aged 5, in school uniform, (or in their PJs) suckling at the breast is not the norm.

Just going share my thoughts on your question in first paragraph and ignore the second, as I don’t see how this compares to training a dog.

i can relate to what the OP said there, for me no it’s neither laziness or a heath mission … I just don’t see the benefit in stopping right now.

I think this is the point really

It is odd to be BF a school age child, thus it’s going to be about the mother’s needs not the child’s.

There are worse things obviously.. but it’s odd.

@Riaanna

a woman can choose to formula feed for absolutely any reason and it doesn’t make her any less of a mother than a woman who breastfeeds. End of.

most of us see nothing wrong with finding comfort in things we don’t “need”.
A favourite mug, a hug with our pets, a bubble bath.
A child finding comfort from a short BF from their mum does no harm as long as both parties are happy to do so.
My children are both emotionally strong, independent young men and have a very good relationship with me. They both self weaned before school. The last couple of years it was 5 mins snuggle in bed. There wasn’t any big End of BF moment, it just dwindled until one day the gap between feeds was such that it just stopped and neither of us made any remark.