I'm just an average gypsy AMA

[GypsyAMA]

I've noticed a lot of hatred towards gypsies on here so I thought I'd answer any questions anyone may have that could help you to understand my culture more. You might still disagree with many aspects, but at least you'll be coming from facts and not stereotypes.

Thank you for this thread. I would say SO many people are unsure of gypsies and travellers and do group you together so to speak...

A couple of things, I do wonder if many of the terrible behaviour that we accociate with travellers/gypsies (interlinking those words wrongly) are actually caused by travellers only?? But as I said I think many of us wrongly assume they are the same identity, just slightly different wording.

Also can I ask why you don't value education?

Secondly what would a typical day be like for a child who has left school?

Finally a long time ago I taught a boy who was a Romany gypsy, lovely boy and lovely mum. One day this child came in with cut knuckles and I asked how he had got the cuts. He very proudly said he had been fighting and had won. (He was 7/8) When I mentioned this to my head she said this is part of the culture, nothing we can do/nothing to worry about. Can you shed any light on this?

Many thanks

What from your life gives you the most pride and joy?

Copenhagener - another request for you to do an AMA!

Thank you. It's not your fault you were scared, you've been fed so many horror stories by society. I'd love to see your camper, I sounds lovely!

I actually am interested in grammar and often Google the correct use of a word (think bare Vs bear etc) or punctuation.

In all honesty with the latest measles outbreaks I've been rethinking my vaccination choices but didn't want to mention that on this thread for fear of huge derailment!

This is exactly what I was saying in my post, about OP making assumptions about wider society and how schools would be a negative impact on children from her community. OP very much missed the point. OP equally has very entrenched views. It's been demonstrated many many times that education raises people's prospects.

It wasn’t that I didn’t finish school, @GypsyAMA, I did. I graduated university, but I hated every minute of it beginning at age 5.

I don’t know how old you are, but now that I’m in my 60s, I wish I had felt then about learning as I feel now. I’m a sponge now - I constantly seek to learn about new people, old and new events and how they affect others and myself.
As the world grows and changes, so do I.

Is there any pressure from within the community for the ‘bad few’ as you call them to behave in a more socially acceptable way?

Our local football field was torn up by travellers/gypsys (not sure which) who then went on to destroy the changing room- just an outrageous level of violence and destruction of a community facility. Would they have been shamed by the ‘good majority’ of the community or is it all just a great laugh?

While travellers do cause a lot of problems, they are not the only gypsy group to do so. Long skirts with massive pockets arent travellers, nor are those who set up the street beggars in gangs, drugging babies and animals to garner sympathy and more money.

I'm quite surprised people are interested, and I'm quite a private person, but sure, I'll put a thread up tomorrow and try to give some insights into the culture - and what it's like to turn your back on it.

It'll be interesting to see what perspectives / misconceptions people on here have about travelling showmen/carnival people - or if people even know we exist :)

This is the case, and why these caravans move onto public land and leave behind a load of excrement everywhere - they prefer to mess in the hedge than make their loos dirty..... which the rest of us find absolutely disgusting!!

A group moved into the park next to my aunt and completely trashed the place.

I think these are perhaps the Irish travellers though? Most of us non gypsy/traveller people probably don't really recognise the difference?

We have a number of settled gypsy families near us and at our primary school, but they live in houses. They have always been friendly and 'normal' - although do tend to take their children out of school early.

My husband and children ride, and we have bought several horses from gypsies across the country from the south coast to Birmingham. They may not be 'mollycoddled' like some people do with horses, but they are all well fed and looked after. Yes - they break them to harness young but not to the saddle - and they are well handled. They don't always have passports though......:-)

Some traditions are also very different. My neighbour married a gypsy and the church service was horrendous. None of his side knew any of the hymns and just talked all the way through. They also talked through the vows. None put anything in the collection when they left. The bride was so upset. At the reception I tried to say hello to the bridegroom (who I hadn't met) in the line up - and he just blanked me - presumably because I was female?

But there is a big camp nearby (one of several) where people have threatened locals, set dogs on them (and use dogs to hunt deer), and the police are too scared to go in to retrieve stolen goods. I understand they get police from other counties if they ever have to go in - to avoid the threats to their families - but this only happens for really serious offences. Stolen cars etc are just ignored. A farmer friend has some nearby who send their sewerage into the river. He reported it but the EA are too scared to do anything. I think these are all travellers not gypsies. Very scary.

OP - do you think you are discriminated against because there are different groups of 'gypsy/traveller' with different behaviours - and people can't tell which are which? Or is it just a case that you can't tar any group of people all with the same brush?

I'll look forward to it @Copenhagener

Yes, I agree with you there...

Just to add my in laws pay to live on a site with very good toilet and shower facilities 100 yds away from their caravan. It’s a site that people use for short term holidays and has a handful of long term residents that have to vacate for the winter.

She was very successful apparently, but won't say in what job/career.

I totally get it. When I was 10 weeks pregnant I was told I shouldn’t have the Covid vaccination. Then at 20 weeks I was told I should. I’ll be honest with you, I’ve taken plenty of illegal drugs in the past and and not given it a thought. But my unborn baby. No way.

I got my jabs afterwards and she got all of of hers as and when. (But she hasn’t had the Covid one yet.)

Being an older mum I do remember measles and mumps being an occasional thing for kids I knew.

Let’s irradiate measles mumps and polio by all being protected.

Why do you prefer not to share what jobs the men in your family do?

I'm not in the business of tarring an entire group with the same brush so I assume there are good and bad Irish travellers.

A typical day for a boy who has left school will be to get up and go to work with his dad. There won't be much he can do of course, but it's more about learning the ethic to start with.

A girl will help around the home and most have hobbies or other interests, and they spend a lot of time socialising with other girls their age.

I'm amazed you're the first person (unless I've missed it) to bring up the fighting culture. We tend to use it as conflict resolution and it works very well. The two men will have a fight, shake hands and then move on and never speak of it again.

Honestly, no idea!
I left school at 16 and went to work in a shop. Got married at 20 and started a family.

I believe if you are going to train to be a Dr, or something similar then it's obviously worth going to uni, otherwise it's just a waste of time. I think for many it's a 3 year extension of childhood maybe?

Sorry if these have been covered already....How do you and your community view Gay people?

Why don't you value education? Genuine question from a teacher.

I find your thread fascinating. It’s a shame that we are not taught more about your way of life in school and we have to learn all this on MN!

Can I ask a couple of questions?..

• did you live with your parents right up until you got married? If so, do you ever wish you had a bit of independence before you got married? To just be by yourself and do your own thing?
• do most people marry as virgins? If so, and if sex education is avoided, were you not terrified on your wedding night, not knowing what to expect?
• if gypsies do marry a gorger, is it expected that the gorger “converts”? And if they do convert, are they accepted by the community and shown the ropes?
• does your DH, as a self-employed person, mostly only service his own community with whatever it is he does?
• do you think there would be less hatred for your community if your community integrated a bit more?

just to ask then.

why cant they "learn the trade" after school?

like farming kids? they dont get hauled out of school at 10/11 they are expected to work after/before school and some follow their parents into the trade - some dont. But they have an education to decide otherwise.

Im pro education as you can tell! I wont be convinced otherwise, i believe every child/person should be able to be whatever they want by having options/education to make it happen

Because the local Council told us they were gypsies. They buggered off the next day after they were caught scoping out another business and the very large men who run it were....rather unfriendly to them, shall we say. Van with ladders on top, caravan towed by car, false number plates (it turned out), 4 small kids, deep interest in hardworking businesses and their assets, Police said the plates didn't show up again so they'd have been swapped after they left our estate. All caught on two other businesses cctv. My camera showed the bloke swinging a large stick at it within moments of the vehicles driving up to it.

That enough for you?

I saw something on tv that's always fascinated me (and sometimes I wonder about doing it too)

Gypsies (and possibly travellers) don't wash any of their bottom half clothes in the same wash cycle as their top half clothes. Is this true?

Is it enough to have a different wash cycle or do you need different washing machines?

I'm very curious about your claims that its ignorance and racism when a brit has a bad experience w/a group of gypsies, you've said several times in response that its a minority of gypsies behaving badly which I understand. However, in a closed cultural group like yours isn't it incumbent upon the greater group to self-police bad behavior so that these stereotypes die off?

In other words, shouldn't other gypsies be making damn sure these bad actors stop the behaviors ie littering, leaving human excrement etc? It seems like the ill will re this could be definitively stamped out in one generation. IF the greater group chose to, which it doesn't seem to be doing overall. This is the problem I'm finding in your claims of racism to be honest, its very passive yet if its this well known it seems the gypsies would better off to force that to end. If the group is so far-flung as to lack any organization per se what are you all clinging to? And if you come back and say well yes we are connected, why no responsibility to each other (thru making sure everyone is accepted and bad actors stop acting badly)

(I don't have a dog in this fight, I'm american and all I see are Irish travelers, who have begun their annual spring movement into my area to offer to do odd jobs which unfortunately will be very poorly done then they disappear forever. But I know this isn't what you represent)

One other thing I'm curious about and have seen in other subcultures, usually religious, is the attitude of staying separate while simultaneously using the 'good' parts of the greater culture, I don't really have a question except maybe, don't you see how wrong that is? Its so selfish to take and never contribute to the greater culture and at the same time to feel superior to it. How do you reconcile something that logically doesn't make sense?

thank you and I hope my first question made sense.