AMA Income over £500k

[AMAIncomeRelated]

Following the thread on the disadvantages of earning just over £50k, it got me thinking that if some people think that is a huge amount to earn, what do they think of my life.

We live in North London. Husband earns a lot, over £500k most years. We live in a big house, with a huge mortgage, 3 children at private school, 3 dogs, own a ski chalet which is let out as well as for our use. I don't work, I did try a part time job 5 years ago and whilst I loved it, it cause too much stress at home because my husband is used to me doing everything.

We obviously live very comfortably, but also there are lots of things we'd like to do but can't afford the big projects at the moment. My husbands job is very stressful.

AMA. I am absolutely not gloating, I know only too well how fortunate we are.

Sending congratulations to you as well! Double congrats. You’re doing amazing. It’s really common but sad that women feel anxious in a situation like yours. And as you’re already sensing it’s all going to work out just fine. No big deal in the grand scheme of things. Own it :)

Totally this. Ignore it OP. You are happy and your family is happy. Why is this so hard to fathom?

City law firms also pay huge salaries with some eye watering amounts for even quite junior staff.
senior partners in large city firms can easily be paid £2-3mill per year.

As someone up thread said, there are a lot of very rich people floating about.

It can cause more stress than it saves tbh - the night before the cleaner comes you have to do this massive tidy up where absolutely everything gets put away where it needs to go (otherwise the cleaners can put things in random places and then everyone hassles you as to where their x y z is and you don't know the answer)

Used to have a cleaner don't bother now. (income not as high as OP but high enough that we could have a cleaner if I wanted)

Ok… so hubby brings in 275k after tax?

3 kids at private school in London so about 135k of that is eaten up on school fees and costs leaving 140k… a good chunk of which goes on huge mortgage, and probably why the ski chalet income comes in handy because you’ll have high expenditure on cars, clothes, hols etc to keep up with the Jones’

So on the face of it looks enormous but lifestyle swallows it, hence he is still working like a maniac.

My question is - what is the longterm plan; do you invest a lot in pensions/savings/investments in order to retire early? What will you do with the kids cash once school is done - cover all their Uni costs/big deposit/contribute to their business or career/weddings??

Do you have a cleaner/nanny that sort of thing? And if so why aren’t you working to pay off that mortgage and to have financial security for yourself? Is your earning capacity so much less than DH so as to make it negligible?

@JoyApple

Because even when you are married you can be left high and dry as a SAHM, with sweet f all pension and assets; many women are utterly swindled.

It’s unfathomable because the only way you can have true long term financial security for your lifestyle is by making the money yourself.

If they split, her standard of living is going to slalom at breakneck speed down that ski slope.

Are you truly content or have you found that the more you have, the more you want?

I'm nowhere near as well off as you although I recently paid off my mortgage, aged 45. I thought it would be the key to contentment but now I'm just finding other things to worry about!

Law, management consulting, a bunch of finance jobs ( PE, hedge funds pm, corporate finance , venture capital, trading can be millions or 10s of millions) . My friends in tech are earning big salaries too and a lot from their equity which has gone up multiple times ( Apple google meta Facebook etc)

OP said 5k for fees, which would be per term, not monthly.
So she has over 3k left per month, especially including the bonus.

@Treesandsheepeverywhere sorry but she has 3 kids in a London Private school, there is literally no day school anywhere that costs £5k a term never mind London. She will be paying £60k a year in school fees for 3 kids, minimum. It’s £5k a month.

What sort of job does your DH do, and how long did it take for him to get to the 100k mark, 200k mark then 500k? Is he at the ceiling of what he could earn?

In your social circle, do you have any friends who earn quite a bit less? If you do, does it cause issues in your socialising?

Do your children go to private school? What are the differences between private and an outstanding comp/grammar in your opinion?

What are your plans once DH retires?

wow, so without any bonus your net take home is £3k! That's bonkers. We earn £110k pa and that is our net take home too...

Unless the bonus is ££££

Thanks, wow, that's a crazy amount to be paying! I was basing it on a friend's situation but now realise that was 10 years ago.

I was on one of these City grad schemes 16 years ago, and all my uni class (I was at the LSE). What no one tells you is the burnout people hit in their early 30s in these jobs - particularly women. Almost all of us changed careers or pause progression at 32-33 because operating at that insane level that's expected is just not compatible with having a life. UNLESS you can get a Stay at home DH (or have a lot of family on hand) - which is sadly still a lot harder than finding a SAHM. 2 of the women who stayed on, one is MD and the other is a Partner, and both are considering quitting completely because of the lack of support when they were pregnant/miscarried/wanted more mat leave - even just getting flexi hours was impossible despite working weekends our entire 20s.

That's why I'm always fascinated by women who do make it work into their 40s in these careers. They're great to get your foot on the ladder, buy an investment property while you're on the big salary but then pivot to a career in another industry (Tech is quite good) where the money isn't as big but enough, and you have flexi working/wfh etc. Men only seem to manage because like OP, they ahve partners more willing to give up work.

Thanks for this OP!

How much was your house when you bought it and how much do you reckon it’ll be once you’ve done it up?
What does DH do for a job and how would one go about getting such a job?
What car do you drive?
Do you wear white loungewear with the casual abandon of someone who could spill baked beans down their entire outfit every day and just buy another whole outfit

You are correct.
My dd said that she will quit before she is thirty because she wants a life

to give different views besides it makes intriguing reading

But OP did say that she loved her part-time job and only gave it up because in her words "it caused too much stress at home because my husband is used to me doing everything".
So it doesn't sound like she chose her current situation because it was more fulfilling.

How much is your house worth and how much do you owe on your mortgage- how long till you are mortgage free?

i guess if you have 10 years left of school and uni fees once that finishes you will feel totally loaded - what would you do with that extra?

Will you have savings to start your dc off with - eg House deposits etc?

@OddSockChaser

lots of finance/tech/legal jobs pay this.

I’m in legal and earn several multiples of OPs income. A jnr lawyer (3-5 years qualified) on my team will make about £150k + bonus+ stock.

I have friends in finance who are comfortably clearing 7 figures but the big money is the CEOs and business owners IME.

@Spirallingdownwards why not start your own AMA thread? You seem quite intent on letting MN know you’re in a high income household.

What kind of house were you living in before your current one? Do you feel it's worth the upgrade?

@OodlesPoodle indeed. I did 16 years in the City and was burnt out when I had DS. I was extremely fortunate to be one of the first to be allowed to go back part-time. I just wanted to be with the baby and fortunately DH's career was starting to take off. I stayed home and supported him to earn the sort of money the op is talking about but 25/30 years ago. He sustained it until becoming employed 8/9 years ago.

The best thing I did was to go back to work when dd was settled in reception, locally and for peanuts but they supported me to retrain.

We are through the other end of the op's life and that includes a home abroad bought when the dc were young, which also provides an income stream except we prefer sunshine.

What I take from the op's posts is how very highly geared they are and for the money coming in, there's not much left over in the context of the London world she inhabits. It is in many other "worlds" but not for where and how the op is living. I'd be concerned in the op's shoes.

I know a woman who was a SAHM for 20 years and when she got divorced she was given the family home, 50% of her ex's pension, spousal maintenance and child maintenance. She was given more precisely because she had been a SAHM.

Not your fault at all and good on you.

However posts like this make me angry.

DH chose (yep his decision) to go into the military 22 years ago. He's worked his way up but we never have enough for the bills. Ever!!! I don't think we have ever had a month where everything has been paid in 18 years.

He has to pay for his food, room, kit, percentage of his petrol. I have a few MH issues etc and diagnosis and don't work. I get the £20 odd PIP but after 2 appeals I won't get more.

The government is fucked. Same goes for NHS, teachers etc.

I've not read the thread but you are obviously in a demanding role and have worked for it so not having a go at you.