AMA Income over £500k

[AMAIncomeRelated]

Following the thread on the disadvantages of earning just over £50k, it got me thinking that if some people think that is a huge amount to earn, what do they think of my life.

We live in North London. Husband earns a lot, over £500k most years. We live in a big house, with a huge mortgage, 3 children at private school, 3 dogs, own a ski chalet which is let out as well as for our use. I don't work, I did try a part time job 5 years ago and whilst I loved it, it cause too much stress at home because my husband is used to me doing everything.

We obviously live very comfortably, but also there are lots of things we'd like to do but can't afford the big projects at the moment. My husbands job is very stressful.

AMA. I am absolutely not gloating, I know only too well how fortunate we are.

Nice of you to worry but I have money in my own personal accounts. I think I'll be fine 😉

Having said that I'd always suggest everyone make sure that they are independent. When I gave up my career we gave it a lot of thought and it just made sense for our family. Although our main reason was that we wanted to have a big adventure and live in different countries all around the world it was also financially a great move. It was a joint decision and it was the right decision.

My main point though is that you can have a fulfilling and happy life even if you don't work.

Half the wives of modern day high earners I know now, they appreciate their good fortune, one returned to work when her DD was 3 but told me due to bad PND she wished she hadn’t had her and didn’t want more DC. She had lots of therapies to help her get over it. So money doesn’t solve everything.

I'm a SAHM and don't feel I'm wasting my intelligence or my education at all.

As has been mentioned multiple times on this thread, there are ample opportunities outside paid work for intellectual fulfillment.

You can have a happy and fulfilling life if you don’t work but I personally would never rest on my laurels.

I was coming on to say similar to recent posters, don’t you feel hugely overcommitted having only £3k a month left?

£1000 food/toiletries/wine
£600 utilities and councils take
£300 family gym membership
£300 golf
£400 two nice dinners a month
£150 to take outs/lunches per month
£100 Netflix/sky/news subscription/ audible/Spotify
£150 4 x phone contracts
£200 gardener
£200 petrol/tube/ taxis

that’s a few conservative estimates for a family of 5 in a big house in london and you’re already over your budget without all the other stuff.

But I bet having the money to pay for therapies helped?

Do you think your children will follow you and your DHs path of being very career-driven?
Would you be privately disappointed if they settled for something a little more... normal? Like being a school teacher, a nurse, or a bus driver? Would you be encouraging them towards working in the private, rather than public, sectors?

Yes of course there are ways to spend your time.

But some women are independent and don't like to think they are being provided for solely by their partner.

And a lot of women stay in stale or unhappy marriages because they have lost their earning power.

Circumstances can change for any reason.

Please tell me about your clothes, and the clothes for your family.

Where do you shop? What brands do your kids wear? Are you ever getting bargains from Vinted or eBay? And do you sell them on when you declutter?

I may not know the motive of the op, but your post is nasty and uncalled for.

My main point though is that you can have a fulfilling and happy life even if you don't work.

Yes of course you can.

But things can change.

You are lucky @AnimalFlow to have a nest egg which presumably you saved when you did work, or you inherited it.

But I can only reiterate the point that although I didn't have to work for much of my marriage, I did because it was something for ME and I wasn't just a wife and mum, filling my time with charity work , sports, buying food, cooking, laundry, etc etc etc.

I was being paid for using my training and that made me feel useful to society. And having MY money gave me independence rather than living off a man.

What’s the best ‘big money’ thing or service you’ve bought that people on lower incomes might not know exists?

We earn, more than the OP.

Our children have always had to work once they turned 16/17 a Saturday job or more.

We paid for their cars, insurance etc, but if they wanted to go out they will have to pay, my husband and I have worked hard from him having nothing growing up and I was lucky that I had more growing up, they have learnt the value of money.

Can't speak for the OP but personally I much prefer being a SAHM, and I am well educated and had two careers that were both well paid and "successful" but that I absolutely hated. I was glad to see the back of them both, glad never to have to set foot in an office again.

I protect myself as best as I can. I'm married, my name is on the house, I have my own pot of savings, I have DH pay into my pension, I have full access and oversight of all the bank accounts and joint income and anything else financial, we have critical illness cover and income protection and life insurance. Anything else is a risk, on balance, I'm willing to take. If I ever absolutely have to return to work then I will but I would prefer, after taking all reasonable precaution, not to have to be miserable because of the possibility that one day my DH might leave me.

I'm far happier and more fulfilled, both intellectually and emotionally, being at home than I have ever been at work. And frankly all our lives are easier and happier because of it.

I’m assuming they are simply over budget each month, and therefore some of the bonus is pre-allocated for topping up the regular-spend pot.

The bonus is about £100k after tax so assuming they use something like £25k to top up the wages and provide some spending money, £25k for holidays, £50k investments.

Hence my question would be how much discretionary spending money they each have.

If Labour add vat to school fees what will you cut back on to continue private school and are you worried about affordability.

Do you “feel rich”? I’m asking as me and DH’s income is much lower than yours (around £8.5k per month) but as we have no mortgage and no kids we have a much higher disposable income than you yet we don’t feel “rich” but we are very comfortable. So just wondering if you feel “wealthy”?

I agree

This sounds like such a bitchy comment. I think you missed the part where they have a 90k bonus after tax on top of the 14k per month income. Plus plenty of people who send their children to private schools will have 3k or less per month after mortgage and fees, myself included and plenty of others that I know.

Do you think the super-rich should pay a wealth tax? I don't think your family would fall under this category

OP I have found your post very interesting and a lot of the replies as I would of expected.

I would be interested to know just how big that mortgage is and how old you are because the repayments sound terrifying.

I see quite a lot of similarities between your own set up and reasonings for doing so and my own, although my husband earns peanuts compared to yours (around 250k).

We made some life choices to try and facilitate better weekend time together as during the week I solo parent and have done since our DC’s were born. We left the commuter belt and over the course of a few moves also left the Home Counties entirely and now live up North, me and my DC were horsey at the time (kids have now given up) but we moved up North to buy a house with land (worth less than our house down south) so we had more time together during downtime. We are now mortgage free (hurrah) and have been for a good few years.

I now work part time from home with flexible hours, my hourly rate is low (£16ph) but I have found that I have enjoyed my little job, especially when I know DH will be away all week, the rest of my time is spent on the kids/house/gardens/dogs and my horse and her little retired side kick who live directly outside my house. I have had many comments over the years from friends such as what will you do if he leaves you, you have no financial independence etc etc but I have zero concerns about that. One career had to go, I have facilitated my husband doing what he needs to do and his success is my success, everything financial is shared and equal - yes his pension pot his healthier but we joint own a house worth circa £800k, we have several joint investments and our individual pots that we top up for tax purposes are the same. We both work very hard but our skill set is now very different. Just this afternoon I have sorted out his Mother’s Day gifts and I am so in tune with that now that she would never know the message hadn’t come from him. He had a hobby and I love the fact he gets his own personal downtime, twice this last week I have taken myself for a Nanna nap in bed in the afternoon, he would never get to do that (had poorly kids, lots going on and my lifetime battle with insomnia has been bad). We work hard to achieve an end goal, one that has been discussed/agreed and we are both happy with - basically early retirement, as soon as the kids are off to Uni we are going to travel and enjoy what we have worked hard for.

For me personally I love being a traditional wife, I like I am always here for my children, it’s almost a joke now that when I know my husband is due home I keep an eye on his progress and stand at the door with a cuppa ready the second he walks through (he does the same for me if I am out for the day) and before anyone says the tracking is not stalking, he mountain bikes On his own, I horse ride on my own it was initially set up as a safety feature after one of us had and accident. I hated corporate life, I now live in a tiny village, I never watch the news, I am a years behind on fashion trends but I have a beautiful home, a husband who I adore, 2 amazing children and I am very very happy and secure in my life.

Agreed. Also, OP has ommited the income from the air b&b and ski chalet... so they may have more than her husbands income.

What would come under your wealth tax?

People that owns a million pound house?

Earns over 500k a year?

What would you tax and how?

I guess it’s what you value and class as parenting. I’m not sure you can be a good parent if you never see your children. You can give them opportunities if you have the money but that’s not parenting. Parenting is being there for your children spending quality time with time. Chatting and playing games. Helping them with their homework. Teaching them to walk and talk and feed themselves. Talking through problems they might have. Being an actual part of their lives. Taking them to activities and watching them play. Spending time as a family. I value this much more than private school and school trips. Money does not necessarily mean better parenting.

@ExactlySo
But I can only reiterate the point that although I didn't have to work for much of my marriage, I did because it was something for ME and I wasn't just a wife and mum, filling my time with charity work , sports, buying food, cooking, laundry, etc etc etc

You are still trying to have a dig. I don't have 'fill my time' like some sad bored little wifey. I actively seek out things I enjoy. I do things for ME all the time. I would have enjoyed working if I had carried on with my career but I have always enjoyed not working too. It depends on your personality I suppose.