AMA Income over £500k

[AMAIncomeRelated]

Following the thread on the disadvantages of earning just over £50k, it got me thinking that if some people think that is a huge amount to earn, what do they think of my life.

We live in North London. Husband earns a lot, over £500k most years. We live in a big house, with a huge mortgage, 3 children at private school, 3 dogs, own a ski chalet which is let out as well as for our use. I don't work, I did try a part time job 5 years ago and whilst I loved it, it cause too much stress at home because my husband is used to me doing everything.

We obviously live very comfortably, but also there are lots of things we'd like to do but can't afford the big projects at the moment. My husbands job is very stressful.

AMA. I am absolutely not gloating, I know only too well how fortunate we are.

@AMAIncomeRelated have you considered downsizing for a lower stress life? Money isn’t everything, life can change in a instant.

What are your thoughts around climate change?

I imagine a partner in a city firm or in an accountancy firm. I have a relative who is at the top of equity in a top 75 law firm (not even top 59) and is on £600k a year.

I have a cleaner on £40k…hate cleaning…wish someone would take in my ironing too!

What on earth do you both do? Is it sales or finance or something?

I don’t thobk anyone would think half a mil a year would be considered private jet territory… a typical charter cost is £20k-£25k. One way. Airport service is second to none flying privately but why anyone would spend that much to fly in a horrible bouncy little plane is beyond me. I refuse it.

What car do you drive?

I really want to know this

How much is your house worth? Just nosey.

But what I do wonder @AMAIncomeRelated if how you feel about being a SAHM and a housekeeper rather than using your talents and intelligence doing a job.

Even if I was in the position not to need to work (and I've been there over, the years) I did something because I felt I'd be wasting my education, and work was for my own fulfilment and interest.

Is there nothing you'd actually like to do?

But OP’s DH has a choice I’m sure he could earn a decent wage and they would still live a comfortable life without working so many hours in a stressful job. Their lifestyle means they need the money. I’m not sure the sacrifice is worth it for that sort of lifestyle.

You can’t compare that with families on minimum wage working long hours just to makes ends meet. It’s totally different.

I'm surprised that so many posters struggle to see how someone can not work and still be happy and fulfilled. My DH was a similar high earner and I gave up work as we worked overseas in countries that, at the time, didn't allow spouses to work. I had four kids, did charity work, studied and played lots and lots of sports. The kids are grown now and I still don't work. My husband has retired early so we travel a lot, keep fit, look after our elderly parents, do a full days charity work each week and help our kids renovate their houses and generally keep busy. There is always lots to do.
I enjoyed my career a lot but it wouldn't allow me to do it on an ad hoc basis so I've decided not to work. I enjoy the freedom of being able to do what I like when I like. Maybe I get more enjoyment from things like sport than other people do.

The only thing I find strange about the OP is that she does her own cleaning. I've always had a cleaner and a gardener. I love gardening but having a gardener makes it a lot more fun. I still find plenty to do around the house but having a cleaner is liberating.

Similar to a PP, I'm wondering if you ever wish you hadn't committed to such a big mortgage and school fees. Does it feel as if you're spending a huge amount of money each month and not really enjoying it? Or do you love your house and the school and feel that it's worth it?

How much (if any) money do you give to charity every month? And what charities?

It's very easy to fill your days when you have money. I doubt anyone disagrees with you there.

But for some of us, it's about making a difference (my work is a vocation not just a job) and I don't want to be defined as a woman who has no independent income, who looks to the man for it, and who spends her days lunching and playing sport.

And we still care for elderly parents and help adult children with their houses.

Do you genuinely feel like an equal partner in your relationship (does your dh see you equally)?

I have a question. Where have you gone?

The danger @AnimalFlow is that some women who are entirely dependent on a man are in trouble if their marriages split up or he dies early. MN is full of such tales of woe.

Yes, if they are mature, and it's a long marriage, they should get a good settlement, but many find themselves in their 50s having to find work- any work- if the marriage ends.

I'd hate to feel that I didn't have my own earning power.

What car do you drive and is it electric?
(We also also a very high income household and currently thinking of a new car..)

If you’ve a huge mortgage, why pay into ISAs rather than paying off that? Do watch the tapering - there is almost no mortgage relief at your DH’s level.

Do you have a tax consultant?

She's in a great financial position and is managing well. Why would she consider downsizing?
She has 90k to spend on holidays, extras, etc. Her husband has a great pension.
Why would she downsize?
She has a great life and is living within her limits, so why should take consider your advice? 😂

How much do you save every month? Do you invest apart from the house? Thank you.

@ExactlySo
But for some of us, it's about making a difference (my work is a vocation not just a job) and I don't want to be defined as a woman who has no independent income, who looks to the man for it, and who spends her days lunching and playing sport

Luckily I don't define myself as that at all. Is that how you define people? My husband and I are very much equals. We've always done what works best for our family and then meant me giving up work when we moved overseas. I've always done one or two days a week charity work so feel that's been a tangible way to give back and make a difference. That's great that your job is a vocation for you. You are lucky to feel like that. It's funny you've suggested I spend my days 'lunching' and playing sport. I guess you were trying to be snide. I do play sports most day and I absolutely love it but, you will be disappointed to hear, that I don't do 'lunching'. I also don't have my hair and nails done or go 'shopping' or whatever it is you might imagine. Today I've been running and have helped a pal do some jet washing. I'm babysitting the grandkids this evening.

I’m assuming you’re talking about 500k take home pay?

So many people are saying that the husband is absent. Yes he might work long hours, but it is so he can provide a better upbringing for his children. He can send them to better schools, send them on school trips he wouldn't be able to, give them the best possible start in life.
Just because you have more time with your children, does not mean that you're a better parent!!

Do you know what AMA means?

My question is why did you feel the need to post this?

Do you think we don't all know high earners exist?

Appreciate you have a lot of "essential" outgoings but why is your mortgage balance still so huge with that income? How big was your deposit and how much are you overpaying? Even in % terms. When will you have it paid off?

The family friend (DM’s age) always did her own cleaning of a huge house as they’d had issues with cleaners (one stole) and she had the time and said she enjoyed doing it! Horses for courses. Big spring cleans she hired a cleaner. Now her DH is dead though, the house is a bit cold as heating cost is extortionate. She did also because she enjoyed doing it and was very good made her own and her DCs clothes, not all but a lot.