AMA Income over £500k

[AMAIncomeRelated]

Following the thread on the disadvantages of earning just over £50k, it got me thinking that if some people think that is a huge amount to earn, what do they think of my life.

We live in North London. Husband earns a lot, over £500k most years. We live in a big house, with a huge mortgage, 3 children at private school, 3 dogs, own a ski chalet which is let out as well as for our use. I don't work, I did try a part time job 5 years ago and whilst I loved it, it cause too much stress at home because my husband is used to me doing everything.

We obviously live very comfortably, but also there are lots of things we'd like to do but can't afford the big projects at the moment. My husbands job is very stressful.

AMA. I am absolutely not gloating, I know only too well how fortunate we are.

OP we have lower income (not hugely lower) but live up north where it goes A LOT further. We have private school x 1 and pony livery for multiple ponies.

I would be really interested in your answers to the multiple questions about the size of your house/mortgage and whether you regret this. We have a house and mortgage far smaller than we could afford to borrow (probably a third of the standard income multiple) and my husband (and daughter) would really like us to move to a much bigger house. I truly don’t think I’d sleep at night for worrying about job security (of which we have plenty!) and what would happen if we couldn’t pay the mortgage and we lost our home. I couldn’t think of anything worse. I love the fact that I have absolutely zero concerns about our home and we could get ‘normal’ paying jobs and still afford the mortgage.

Do you ever wish you hadn’t bought it? We are in the process of moving somewhere much bigger (but still comfortably within our affordability) and I’m still wobbling about even that.

As many others have said, you sound VERY overstretched!

I agree. Anyone from a high income family is obviously lying and "should have something better to do, than being on mumsnet!"

I imagine your DH is a Partner in Accountancy or Law? So I get the pressure. Not dissimilar here although not in London. I have to work. But know we could live on DH income. Our net income is about £12k a month. We have a tiny mortgage £800 a month! We do need to upsize but as our focus is school fees and both our jobs are super dependent on the economy we don’t want to add a big mortgage on top. If your mortgage is £6k and fees £5k it doesn’t really leave you a lot of free cash!

@Throwaway1234567890000000 its worth sitting down with an IFA I think, cos they can just help you see the wood for the trees!

Your husband is missing out on life and his children, and his children essentially don't have a dad by the sounds of things. That's really sad.
I wonder if he'll ever regret living in this way, especially if he gets a life-limiting illness and is not able to enjoy retirement?
My husband and I earn equally, £250k ish. We both do school pick-ups, sick days for kids, club runs, playdates etc. He finishes early one day a week and I am PT, so we both see the kids loads. Weekends are family time. We're a team. We balance our work and only rarely do stupid hours. Our bosses don't expect us to.

No job is worth missing out on life or your children. I hope he sees that before it's too late!

@AMAIncomeRelated but can't afford the big projects at the moment.
AMA. I am absolutely not gloating!!!! £500k!!!!!! you absolutely are gloating!!! and short of buying your own island as a project, there is very little you cannot afford!!!!!! you should not be rubbing peoples' noses in the fact that you are, in fact, as affluent as they come!!! downright nasty!! are your names Harry and Meghan??????

@AMAIncomeRelated My serious question is, and following on from @Scottishgirl85 , are you happy with the status quo or do you want your DH around more to enjoy the family?

I ask as the daughter growing up in a similar set up (a long time ago of course!), as I would have much rather had my dad around more, rather than him working 24/7, is that maybe what you’re picking up on?

You sound very nice, and are giving your children are very secure foundation which is immeasurable but of course in a limited capacity because of your DHs working hours.

Good for you, if that is what works. It does not have to be the same for other household setups. There are different ways of having "purpose" other than going to paid work. That should not be hard to understand, or used as a put down.

OP you said that initially you were progressing faster in your career than your DH. If that was the case why did you decide that you should become the SAHP and not him? What was the reasoning?

I still can’t quite believe you’ve said this! Most very wealthy people I know whether younger or older don’t splash their cash on private jets. Fast cars maybe.

A few are generous with money, others quite frugal. Some is old money, some new.

It feels slightly like you’re rubbing some people’s noses in it with this AMA. I’m not poor btw.

I know you say you aren’t gloating OP and I certainly don’t resent you your happiness and lifestyle BUT your OP honestly made me cringe

’Following the thread on the disadvantages of earning just over £50k, it got me thinking that if some people think that is a huge amount to earn, what do they think of my life’

yikes… if some people think 50k is a huge amount.

how it reads if some poor people think a measly sum of 50k a year is a lot, wait til they get a load of my huge income.

50k is a decent salary, it’s when you’re tax status and cb status change. It is when you start to be a high earner. Your post, honestly, sorry but I think it’s pretty crass

Would you swap the lifestyle and huge house for a more modest income and average home if it meant your husband could spend more time with the DC and helping with bedtime/homework? They are little for such a short time and then it's over.
This week my DH has been cuddled up with the DC at bedtime reading Harry Potter to them both and it made me realised how "rich" we actually are. They were so content and I know they will always remember things like that.

Agreed, it’s embarrassing

Do you fancy leaving any punctuation for anyone else to use?

Lots in local school, nhs voluntary visits, food bank shifts, domestic abuse mentor meetings.

I call BS on this

But OP wants to prove to us plebs just how much she has and how much good she does in her community!

Most people like I said who have money, some are insufferable, but quite a few who haven’t earned it, are grateful for what they have, because it’s earned them eg a privileged education/lifestyle or in some cases not having to work at all ever.

I did try a part time job 5 years ago and whilst I loved it, it cause too much stress at home because my husband is used to me doing everything.

Wow. Is he always such a c*nt????

Op your lifestyle sounds like a typical private school parents west London/North London life style. The school fees for 3 children and high mortgage will rinse most of your active income. Apart from the ski chalet, have you made any other investments that will give you passive income? Apart from that I'm pleased to hear you live a comfortable life but I'd be more impressed with what you and your husband did with the 500k to double and triple that.

Oh I believe her to a certain degree. Kudos to OP if she does do this.

She has accommodation she rents out in the garden

As someone who did private maternity I wholly disagree. I started off on NHS, but was told I would not be allowed to do a c section and even if I did I wouldn't get to choose my consultant.

What on earth are you on about? You don't sound so pleasant yourself, with your nonsensical dig at Harry, and Meghan.

@Sweetheart7 Anecdotally this is not unusual and definitely not untrue. Caveat: Maternity aside.

I don't know how long ago this was but you were incorrectly informed of your rights. You are absolutely allowed to have a c section out of Maternal choice on the NHS.

However this isn't relevant to what I said, which is that emergency life saving care and NICU isn't generally offered at private hospitals. If you'd suffered a medical catastrophe or your baby had, you'd have been transferred to an NHS hospital.

Why let out the chalet? I came from a privileged family ... (not as wealthy as yours), but we never let out our home abroad. Why do you need to on such a high income?