I have Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder AMA

[UndertheCedartree]

AMA

It hasn’t been referred to as eupd for many years now - is that diagnosis name important to you?

It is called EUPD.

Have you had experiences of stigma?

Yes it has. EUPD is the new classification. It used to be BPD.

What are you referring to when you say it isn't called EUPD? I disagree with this statement

I've not heard of it, can you explain how big feels for you and how it makes you feel? Thank you

Do you feel the diagnosis is correct? Has the diagnosis helped you to understand yourself better? It's a mis-diagnosis often given to women with autism and adhd which is why I'm asking.

What sort of support helps you and what attempted support doesn't?

That is my diagnosis and the only name ever used by professionals? What do you call it??

I have from health care professionals. Some just being very nasty and saying there is no help for you.

But outside of that I rarely share my diagnosis with people. It can make me feel very lonely but I'm scared of people's reaction. I have had one person who knew throw it back in my face - i.e just used it as a way to insult me.

It makes me feel all over the place as I have such strong emotions that can change very rapidly. I have a terrible fear of abandonment - if my boyfriend is annoyed about something minor I think he is going to leave me. I don't have much sense of self - if you ask me to describe myself I'll say I don't know! I can be quite impulsive at times. I find it very difficult if my DC is upset as it upsets me so much it is hard to deal with. I can also get very angry if I don't feel I'm be listened to or not being given the information I've asked for and I lose control and then usually end up bursting into tears.

Yes, I feel the diagnosis is correct. I do not believe (from my experience of being with many EUPD women in hospital) it is a mis-diagnosis for ASD/ADHD but it is a neurodiversity itself. Many people of course have multiple neurodiversities. I have ASD too.

Yes, the diagnosis has helped a lot and enabled me to access medication and DBT both of which have really helped.

I also have this diagnosis (well mine was BPD) but was given it around 20 years ago in my late teens. I don't think I would meet criteria for it now though I was very unwell when I was diagnosed. Both my children are ND and I think BPD may have been a misdiagnosis for me as there wasn't the awareness of neurodiversity back then, and now that I can shape my life to my needs I cope much better. Do you consider your diagnosis to be correct?

What do you think about the fact most EUPD diagnoses are given to women?

How do you feel about the stigma of having a personality disorder? I feel deep shame about my diagnosis and hardly anyone in my life knows I have it. (This isn't to say that I think others should feel ashamed. Just that I do.)

Sorry I can see that you already talked about neurodiversity in an answer written whilst I was typing. It's interesting that it's considered a neurodiversity in itself as, like I say, I probably wouldn't meet criteria for it anymore. I have never been "normal" (even in childhood) but I was a total mess in my late teens/early 20s and am mostly OK now (ADHD symptoms aside). I thought neurodiversities were permanent.

How do you/can you maintain longer term professional relationships? Have you felt able to disclose your diagnosis to employers and has this helped you?

I had DBT as an inpatient which was really helpful. OT also very helpful.

What has not been helpful is short IAPT style therapy which always brings everything up then leaves me to deal with it once therapy has finished.

I was also referred to a DBT skills group in the community which was awful. The people running it knew little about the DBT skills, they allowed the group to be derailed by people talking about their issues and then let a man join who would talk about all the aggressive things he'd been doing. I left at that point. Baring in mind most with EUPD have suffered trauma it was awful they allowed it.

I could do with OT input now but it seems to have all stopped in COVID and never started again.

Does it feel like PTSD? Like you get triggered in the current day by things that have happened in the past, so have an extreme reaction? Like your brain struggles to recognise past from present situations?

I consider my diagnosis to be correct but I believe EUPD is a type of neurodiversity.

I think often similar behaviours in men and women are given different diagnoses due to stereotypes/social conditions of men and women - so often a woman is given EUPD and a man ASPD.

I don't actually feel ashamed of it atall. Do you know many others with the diagnosis? I know lots as I was an inpatient and it helped me accept it and see how amazing these women were. But I am afraid of the stigma so most don't know about it.

Do you mind if I ask which medication has helped you most?

@UndertheCedartree One of my clients has it. It has certainly been a challenge for her in her life but she is an amazing woman who has achieved amazing things.

Do you feel childhood trauma is the main reason you have the disorder?

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I believe EUPD is a neurodiversity and although I'm far from alone in that belief, it is currently classified as a mental illness.

I also have ASD and while yes, it is permanent it has affected me differently at different times. People may see me having 'outgrown' some of it's symptoms but I have just learnt to deal with them better. In the same way I have learnt skills to help with my EUPD.

It has depended. I have disclosed and it has sometimes been a positive and sometimes a negative. It has been used against me. I have also had experience of being supported well. My employment has been quite disjointed, though.

My friend has this. Medication has helped her be less hugely up and down.
How do you feel when taking meds? How do you feel when not?

I'd like to know how I support my friend when she is a bit 'all over the place'

It is usually related to maladaptive responses to childhood trauma rather than neurodivergence.

What are the best things other people can do to help you?