I have Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder AMA

[UndertheCedartree]

AMA

Thank you for sharing and being so open.

How do you feel it affects your relationship with your DC?

Do you feel there are positives? (I'm asking as you say you see this as neurodiversity - and not 'illness' or 'disorder' so there may be positive elements for you)

Do you think you adopt or emphasis different personality characteristics around different people?

And sorry for so many questions, do you feel you have always been like this or did you experience something traumatic ?

(Please only answer any or all depending on what you feel comfortable with)

Would you mind explaining what all the initials that you've used mean @UndertheCedartree ? Apart from EUPD and ASD, I'm lost! Sorry!

What medication do you take?
How long did it take to become settled and find what works best for you?

I hope by sharing your world with us it helps you on your journey.
Thank you for sharing.

That's great you don't feel any shame at all. No, I don't know anyone else with an EUPD diagnosis, though almost all my friends have ASD and/or ADHD.

I was offered group therapy (DBT) but declined it as my shame was so great I couldn't face the thought that someone I knew would see me there or even in the building etc... I think a lot of my shame is part of the condition though (despite the fact I think I wouldn't meet criteria anymore).

Which parts of DBT did you find most useful?
What's the most useful thing a therapist can do to support a client with EUPD?

What would you like people to know so they could support or be more aware of EUPD and the challenges that come with it?

Most (though, not all) people with EUPD have suffered trauma and may have cPTSD alongside it. I have that diagnosis too. Also there has been some research to show those with EUPD often have changes to the amygdala. So I think this could be part of it, yes. I think lots of us are hyper vigilant and react to small things then have trouble calming down.

Quetiapine (anti-psychotic and mood stabilizer) has helped a lot as I had transient psychosis. In the night I'd hear voices and it would keep me awake. It helps me sleep and helps my mood too.

Venlafaxine - has had a big effect on my mood and eased the depression

Pregabalin - has helped a lot with anxiety.

That's so good to hear. I was on a long term ward for women with EUPD and met some incredible women.

My psychologist thinks it is mainly down to differences in the brain (amygdala and pre-frontal cortex) and then invalidation in childhood.

So I think that is the main reason especially as not everyone has experienced trauma who has EUPD. But I'm sure the trauma feeds into it all.

I feel much calmer on meds, I still feel depressed and anxious a lot but it is much more manageable. I also don't hear voices in the night (the voices are often social services saying they are taking my children away.)

Without meds, I'm very irritable. I find it extremely difficult coping with my DC if they're crying for example. I get angry or upset quickly and can't down from it. For example if on my own and I watch a sad film, I'll literally be in floods of tears, in the depths of despair for hours. (If someone is with me they can help calm me down.) I get so anxious leading to isolation and depressed which can lead to self harm and suicidal ideation.

The best thing you could do if I'm all over the place is check I've taken my meds and if not get me to take them and secondly help me do something to calm down like taking deep breaths or a grounding exercise. Lots of validation and support would be much appreciated.

You sound lovely, you're friend is lucky to have you.

Not everyone with EUPD has suffered childhood trauma (although most have) and not everyone who has suffered childhood trauma has EUPD. Many are now starting to think that it is a neurodiversity which makes a lot of sense to me and many others with EUPD. Yes, the trauma is important but there is more to it.

Listen to what I'm saying, take me seriously and try to respond rather than invalidate me and don't answer my question. Make sure I have taken my meds. Help me not get overwhelmed. Encourage me to exercise, eat healthily, sleep and have time to relax. Understand that when I get overly upset/angry/anxious I find it very hard to control and will be mortified later. If in a state, help me take deep breaths. Be there for me as I feel very empty and lonely.

I will hold my hand up and say I've not always been the best mum to them. There are times they've seen me really low or anxious when it wasn't a good thing for them to see. I've embarrassed my eldest by getting upset at his college when they were being horrendous and we had a meeting where their answer to everything was basically they didn't know! I got very worked up. I also had a breakdown and was in hospital for an extended time that was very hard on them. However, in general we have a very loving, close bond and I'm being a pretty good mum most of the time. They do recognise if my emotions are taking over and help me to calm down.

I'll answer more a bit later as got to get DD to school.

I work in mental health and it is still very much referred to a EUPD in the inpatient, community and specialist services we work across
thete is some move to complex trauma /complex emotional needs and CPTSD but EUPD is regularly used

You sound like someone who I used to line manage.
Please get help. Whatever is available op.

I was diagnosed with this last year. My medication has been changed 10 times because none of them have worked or I've had horrendous side affects. In theory I've suffered for a lot of years but it was after my breakdown at the end of 2021 that got the ball rolling. Ptsd, depression, anxiety and eupd I'm 39 and feel like like a failure.

No questions, but I've been diagnosed with it too.

I think the positives is when I feel happy, I feel really, really, happy. With my boyfriend I can go from feeling so in love (which feels great) but then to feeling very negative towards him (which isn't nice.) I think it also contributes to me being very empathetic which has a good side as I am able to support others but sometimes I give too much to the detriment of my own mental health.

I do mirror people a lot and am very quiet with people I don't know but can be the opposite with close people. I'm not sure if that's EUPD or ASD. I get triggered a lot by my parents and siblings.

I've been like this as far back as I remember. I did have a traumatic birth (when I was born I almost died and was separated from my mum for my first 2 months - my mum didn't want to be with me alone if I died and dad didn't want to get attached to me as I might die - there's more to it but that's it in a nutshell.) I also had other trauma in my childhood. My thoughts are people are born with brain differences and then the way they are brought up affects if they develop maladaptive ways of thinking/behaving.

I apologise!

BPD = borderline personality disorder (old name for EUPD)
ADHD = Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
cPTSD= :complex Post-traumatic stress Disorder
DBT = Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (This is the gold standard treatment for EUPD and is also now being used for others such as those with ASD).

If people are interested I could describe in depth what DBT looks like as a full inpatient programme.

I take a lot of medication!
Pregabalin
Venlafaxine
Mirtazapine
Quetiapine
Lorazapam

In terms of medication it was only sorted once I had a breakdown and was hospitalised. It took a couple of years to find the right meds/doses. Prior to that I was just on and off anti depressants. I didn't really know what was wrong. After I had my eldest I started having intrusive thoughts and hearing voices or having delusions in the night, but I just thought it was normal. Which sounds crazy now.

Oh, and thank you for your kind words. It does help me feel less lonely to be able to share this.

It probably is. My self esteem is very low and I feel a lot of shame about other things. Have you ever looked at the DBT skills? You might find some useful.

I relate to a lot of what you are saying finding it hard when your children are up set, I feel like I’m going to be sick and getting so frustrated with things, do you think it’s possible to mask EUPD?

How is your relationship with your parents and siblings now?

Thank you for this thread. I have a family member with EUPD and this has had a devastating impact on the whole family. However for years they refused to engage with MH services, then, when they did engage, they were diagnosed with bipolar (which may be incorrect or a partial diagnosis, as I understand it they can coexist?).

I would be very interested to hear about your experience of DBT too