I'm an Orthodox Jewish Woman, ask me anything.

[Jewishbookwork]

On the thread @Israelilefty started, people were asking about Orthodox Judaism. So I am starting (another) one here. Other Orthodox Jewish women are welcome to answer too, so we have more of a range of answers.

I am Chabad Chasidic, we are very religious - I wear a wig, my husband wears black and white and we have lots of books in hebrew in our house.

Thank you

If one of your children fell in love with and wanted to marry someone outside of your faith in the future would you disown that adult child? I ask because this happened to my grandmother a few decades ago. Wondered if such things still happen.

I've been in this situation as a manager in the NHS. The city I worked in was very diverse with many staff following one religion or another: Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Sikhism, jehovahs witnesses, Mormons etc.

Noone wants to work weekends so we had to treat them all the same and rota them all days. If we all owe one person to have their weekly holy day off, then we would have to allow them all, and we would be unable to run the service. Happy for them to swap their shifts amongst themselves.

Not once did anyone who left say it was because they had to work their holy day- cos it was emergency work that benefits others, and they were being treated all the same.

Don't you ever wonder if God would prefer people to spend time doing things that actually benefit other people rather than spending time saying prayers and worshipping him (her?). All that time your husband spends praying could be spent doing something that could improve things for other people. I find it hard to imagine a God who wants people to invest so much time and money on something that mainly benefits the individual and God.

I am not sure I've phrased this question very well but I hope you understand what I mean.

Have you heard of /see My Unorthodox Life ? Julia Haart and her family leaving their religious community

@Jewishbookwork thank you for this thread.

I have a lighthearted question which I feel a bit embarrassed to ask anyone IRL. I have Jewish friends but no orthodox Jewish pals.

When I was on holiday this summer, there was an Orthodox Jewish family who were having a canalboat holiday. I said hello to the husband once or twice when we saw them (the wife seemed to stay inside the canalboat) but wondered afterwards whether it is considered OK to greet other women or whether I would have stepped over a line in any way? He did greet me back but didn't look all that delighted but was, to be fair, trying to steer his canalboat past mine!

I'm curious what if u decided one day u didn't want to be part of the religion ? How would you family react? Would u even be able to leave? What if ur children decided it wasn't for them? Could they leave? Would they be able to choose not to study it/practice it? And if its something you have lived with your whole life? How do u know what life is like without it? How do you know what u 'belive' is just something u r taught and not what u truelu belive? I would love to know these question to any religion to be fair and not just your specifically.

Men should not be watching s-xually explicit content or immodest women.

My sons are not allowed smartphones (their schools don't allow them) for this (and other) reasons, while my daughters do have (filtered) smartphones.

Some people don't watch secular movies or read non Jewish books at all, some do, some are very careful with what they watch, listen to and read.

Some women from some Hasidic communities shave their heads, I don't.

This is very interesting, thank you!

most are Orthodox, many Hasidic, there are probably some who are not. There is a secular Jewish school called Simon Marks so that points to there being a secular Jewish community, however I don't live there so not too familiar.

What's one thing you wish others knew or understood about Orthodox Jewish Women?

You say that you don’t have sex during period and for one week after.
Some people who have irregular cycles may ovulate within that week - how would you conceive a child if you wanted to if you aren’t able to have sex during your fertile days?

I have fortunately never been in this situation, but I think there are ways to deal with it. (perhaps involving medication of some type).

Thanks for your honesty. It’s always good to learn about different cultures.

I watch N American YouTuber Miriam someone she shares her life as an Orthodox Jew and I find it fascinating and interesting.

two things do strike me this amazing pull of family and community and how everyone’s religious journey, and what they believe is different and that that is ok.

Silly questions coming your way!😄

Do Jewish men (or women) swear?

How many children have you got and why that number?

How will you feel if your daughter(s) continues to dress less traditionally than you do? What would happen if she wanted to go out with a non-Jewish person?

How well behaved are Jewish children generally compared to non-Jewish children?

Why does OP owe you an answer about this?

How did you meet your husband?

this really depends on the man, some communities may be more insular. My husband would have no problem greeting a passing random woman. (If he doesn't greet them first)

Hi, I'm an orthodox Jewish woman here in the UK too. I'm happy to answer this. Women who are trying to conceive and have irregular cycles and miss ovulation usually take medication to regulate the cycles. There are local Jewish infertility organisations who help out with medical advise and referrals for issues like this.

Some people swear, we try not too. Maybe yiddish swear words rather than anglo-saxon. Probably less often than other people. Used in extreme circumstances rather than casual conversation.

I have 6 kids, no specific reason, I would have liked more but didn't happen. We don't belieive in family planning, although we might use birth control between children for many different reasons. When ready we had more but never planned a specific number.

My children are their own people, I don't own them. It would make me happy if they continued in the Orthodox way of life, as I mentioned earlier one is a bit more chilled regarding clothing but she is still a religious girl.

If my child married a non Jew I would be sad but wouldn't disown them.

How well behaved are Jewish children generally compared to non-Jewish children?

Hmmm, I don't know, maybe someone has done a study? Mine are mostly fairly well behaved. I guess it depends which non Jewish children they are being compared with.

Somebody (my brother) knew him and thought we might be compatible. My parents and his parents then called all our friends and asked questions about us to find out if he was right. A matchmaker was also involved at this stage although she didn't suggest him. We met and dated for a short time (a few weeks) before getting engaged.

I have to say I'm surprised and impressed to see an ultra frum mum on MN!

Of course this is possible. people do this all the time. They might just join a less strict jewish group. Its easier to do before marriage and kids.

My family would be sad but they are very accepting people.