I'm an Orthodox Jewish Woman, ask me anything.

[Jewishbookwork]

On the thread @Israelilefty started, people were asking about Orthodox Judaism. So I am starting (another) one here. Other Orthodox Jewish women are welcome to answer too, so we have more of a range of answers.

I am Chabad Chasidic, we are very religious - I wear a wig, my husband wears black and white and we have lots of books in hebrew in our house.

You say that "we don't work at all from friday night until saturday night". What would happen if you were say, a doctor or a nurse. Is the organisation duty bound to allow you to have these days off for religious reasons or is there some caveat in the religion that allows certain professionals to work during these hours?

Do you follow any of the orthodox Jewish influencers who are big on TikTok/instagram right now and if so what do you think of them and how they represent Orthodox Judaism?

I'm thinking of people like Miriam Ezagui, who seems delightful but who has opinions that seem a lot more liberal (for lack of a better word) than the Orthodox Jews I've encountered (I used to live in a neighbourhood that was heavily orthodox).

Are there any converts in your particular community?

Do your children attend a state orthodox school like Yesoday Hatorah or Manchester Mesivta (I'm not asking you to name the specific school obviously) or an independent charedi school?

How old were you when you got married?

If your children want to lead a less frum life how would that make you feel?

Are the rules meaningful to you?

When I had my first baby I was on a maternity ward with an orthodox Jewish lady and her 7th child.
During my second pregnancy I had terrible SPD (girdle pain) and was told by my physio that once you've had it, it gets worse with every pregnancy.
I was done at 2 anyway, so all good. But I did remember her and wonder what would happen if I was in her position as an orthodox wife and a faithful Jewish lady, would I have stopped at 2 and suffered a loss of status/respect, or felt I had to keep going... How much understanding would I have received for this or similar issues preventing me from having a large family?

Do you have any non Jewish friends or colleagues? How do you integrate beyond your community?

There is a large house near me that has Chabad on the gates. It seems to be a sort of social place for students, is that right?

Jewish students I mean.

I once heard a story which I think came from the Jewish tradition - I wonder if you know it? It's about a village in which everyone is encouraged to write down their greatest sorrow and hang it on a particular tree; then later they all return and are allowed to read all the ones that are hanging there and can choose to take away a different one, not their own, if they want to - but everyone ends up choosing their own. Is this story familiar to you? I would like to know more about it as it has always struck me as quite psychologically profound and I would like to know more about its origins?

I grew up in the north of England right by one of the biggest orthodox Jewish communities up here (I'm assuming you'll know where) I got to chat to a lady a few weeks ago who had 13 kids!! I had so many questions but felt a bit rude asking at the fruit and veg counter 😅

This may sound like a ridiculous question, but can gentiles shop in Jewish/kosher shops? They're the closest shops to my families house but I always feel like I'm breaking some unwritten rule popping in for some bread 😅

Its a real part of religion. Chabad people study kabbalah.

I don't have to follow 600 rules since as I said not all apply. I find kosher difficult. I love food and would love to eat out in different types of restuarants. (although the kosher foodie scene is way better then it used to be)

I don't really want to say where I live, but I live in a very very small Jewish community. Lots of connections to bigger communities like London, Manchester (I grew up in one of those cities) though so I am pretty familiar with them.

health and saving lives overrides Shabbat. Doctors and nurses can work although they might prefer to have off - in the same way a secular person would prefer not to work weekends or Christmas. Shabbat is a big family/social day with big meals. In Israel I believe medical professionals do work on shabbat since most of their colleagues are Jewish. Outside of Israel i think people manage to work out rotas so everyone is happy. But I don't work in that field. I don't know what the legal rules are regarding this in the UK, maybe someone else knows.

Hatzala (google it) works on shabbat.

Not really, I follow one person who is related to me but I generally find tiktok and instagram a bit annoying. I have insta for work (post but don't follow much) but don't have tiktok at all. I have facebook.

I am old lol.

Yes, quite a few.

Thank you for the thread and all your answers very frivolous question: does your shul have a dinosaur that comes to your house for tea on Shabbat? I only ask because a colleague told me about this (and showed me the song on YouTube) and I've never come across it before! So I wondered whether it's more common than I think 😁

How long are your husband's synagogue visits? If he goes twice everyday how does he have time to work etc?

Do you have any friends/do you socialise outside your community at all? Do you drink?

Do your children have non-Jewish friends? If they do/did, how do/would you feel about them being exposed to 'outside' influences?

Please could you explain to me the reasons why your men only wear black and white clothing?

Are you at all saddened by seemingly parallel lives lived by many Jewish communities?

I visit a friend, not Jewish, in Stamford Hill which I think has the largest Haredi community in London.

On our route to Hackney Marshes we walk through a street that has a number of primary schools and houses that seem to be operating as schools, so many children everywhere! From what I can see there is a run of the mill primary school, a Jewish primary school, and a number 'house' schools that are attended by, separately of course, Jewish and Muslim children.

I find it sad that the various communities, particularly minority ones, seem to be living totally separate lives. Their right of course.

My kids have attended different schools, some independant, some state. Depends on what worked for each kid.

yes

I don't really care what people think of me regarding how many children I have, but coming from a large family and most people having large families does make you want more kids. Very very few people would choose to only have one or two kids, but obviously the choice is not always in our hands. I do know someone who has awful pregnancies, she has 5 or 6 kids, she obviously felt it was worth going through the misery again and again.

Yes, although some Chabad Houses cater to families or anyone really as well or instead of students. In a large city you might have chabad houses catering only to students, in smaller communities they are more multi purpose.