I'm an Orthodox Jewish Woman, ask me anything.

[Jewishbookwork]

On the thread @Israelilefty started, people were asking about Orthodox Judaism. So I am starting (another) one here. Other Orthodox Jewish women are welcome to answer too, so we have more of a range of answers.

I am Chabad Chasidic, we are very religious - I wear a wig, my husband wears black and white and we have lots of books in hebrew in our house.

Can you tell us what shabbat is like with small kids? How do you even rest? And do they bounce off the walls or can you take them to the park? Can they run and play?

Can you talk us through what shabbat looks like in a day? What do you do rather than not do? How do you spend your time? What do you do for the meal re the religious side of it?

Can you shed light on the swaying off the body often seen in men praying? Is it a media stereotype or a specific mandate that requires the swaying?

Hi, I have 2 young boys under 5. I'm ngl, Shabbos can be long and challenging with little kids, especially in the summer when the day is longer. I find that if I'm prepared for Shabbat with good toys and treats for the kids, it helps a lot.
A successful Shabbat is about being present and spending time with the important people in your life, kids/family/friends and connecting to God.
Shabbat begins on Friday at sunset and lasts until Saturday nighttime, roughly 25 hours in total. In the winter Shabbat begins as early as 3:30pm. Friday night I light designated Shabbat candles to welcome in Shabbat, and my husband goes to Shul to pray for about an hour. I'll usually sit on the couch with the kids and read books/play with kids/pray. Once DH comes home he'll sing some traditional Shabbat songs/prayers including a beautiful prayer called "Women of Valour".
We'll then begin the Friday night dinner meal. Ours is usually very kids centred and we'll chat to them about school and talk about biblical stories on the Parsha, sing Jewish themed songs. Occasionally we have guests at our meal, and often we get invited out to join family/friends at theirs. Then bedtime, Hurray.

Shabbat morning usually begins a little later, (because of kids its 7am instead of 6am🙃) DH goes to pray 9am - 11am, Kids usually play nicely for a bit and then I give them some Shabbat party (nash), kids will play outside weather permitting. We'll begin the Shabbos lunch meal at around 12:00pm. The rest of the afternoon DH and myself officially take turns resting and babysitting, but kindly, most times my DH offers to do all the babysitting here. We'll often go out to visit family or in the summer, go to the park. Later, there is a tea time meal which is usually light consisting of Challah, dips, salad. DH goes to pray for another hour or so, and then Shabbos is out.

Shabbat meals start with a Shabbat blessing whilst holding a cup of grape juice, then we wash our hands before cutting into the Challah. We begin and end all meals with a blessing thanking God for the food.

My Shabbat treat is buying myself a good book to read and just having time to pray which I often struggle with during the week. My favourite part of Shabbat are the long Friday nights, kids are sleeping by 8 and then DH and I have hours to read and just cozy on the couch (no TV/devices). Also, I love the Shabbos socialising, I'll usually visit my parents on Shabbat day and sit around with my siblings chatting for hours, whilst the kids play with their cousins.

Swaying during praying is very real. Many men & women do it when they pray. Its not mandatory, think its mostly a habit that helps with concentration. I find myself swaying whilst I pray, it helps me to concentrate. Kind of the same way that people sway when they sing, when a Jew prays earnestly they'll automatically sway.
I've heard of a Kabbalistic idea that the swaying, is like the flame on a candle, and represents us being drawn closer to God and igniting our souls through prayer, and then being pulled back to the present, and repeat.

I read that you cannot remove makeup during Shabbat so you have to find makeup that still looks good 25 hours later (especially as you've most likely had Friday night sex too). Are you not dying to wash your face after? Or is that just something you get used to?
How common is it for a man to have a shiksa (non Jew) on the side? If he was caught would a blind eye be turned or would he be exposed? I read about a UK rabbi being exposed (by the media) for visiting brothels. Would he be told to stand down, or just be believed if he denied it?

Fri night my husband goes to shul (synagogue), some of the kids go with. I try sit and read a magazine (Jewish) or a book (usually not Jewish) but more often than not end up giving the little ones half the Shabbat meal early. This week I played a card game with one of the younger kids. Husband comes home and format is same as @jewishorthomum . We sing a lot, and kids have their own ‘parsha’ sheets and newsletters with stories on the weekly Torah portion or questions on what they have learned. The kids love the attention of going through their sheet, and showing off what they know. Now we live in Israel me and DH try to decipher the Hebrew, and that’s always harder 😅.
i often put the little ones to bed during the meal, because the meal goes on a long time.
there are often celebrations for new babies (shalom zachor) that my husband goes to (I could go too, but I’m usually wanting to chill then) and a few weeks ago my neighbour in my building made a tisch (don’t know how to explain that. They are Chabad). Men and women were invited but again I didn’t go. This Friday night I played a game of catan with my two older boys after the meal, and then read on the couch.
Shabbat morning I try stay in bed as long as possible. We give the kids Shabbat party in the morning, set it out the night before. They are in and out of the neighbours apartments, dh goes to shul, my dd4 and oldest ds usually like to go with him. Then I meet him after shul for a kiddish. Israel runs earlier on Shabbat than UK, so the kiddish is done by 11. Our neighborhood has a cross communal tefilat yeladim in the park, where all the neighborhood kids come (there’s a lot) and every week different people sponsor a treat for them, and they say a couple of the basic prayers and then some men from the community act out a story from the parsha. They get very involved and dress up and all the kids sit fascinated. Usually hang out in the park (playground really) for a while then have Shabbat lunch. This week we had guests, a couple checking out the neighborhood. We didn’t know them, but someone got in touch on Thursday night and asked if we would host them. Again singing during the meal.
after the meal, 2 of my children go to a local youth group called Ariel, run by volunteers where they play for an hour. My other ds goes every other week to a special branch
Of Ariel for boys with ASD. Hero dh takes him there and back (it’s not local, so it is a lot of walking and he sacrifices his afternoon nap). This week I took dd to a different playground where she ran around with all her friends from nursery and the neighborhood, and I chatted with the neighbors. there’s practically one playground per street and then the other kids joined me .
i usually end up reading a book over Shabbat , so I save paperback books for Shabbat and read on kindle app on my phone during the week. DH usually falls asleep on the couch.
Sometimes we go out for Shabbat meals and sometimes we host

Not a media stereotype. When you get involved in the prayers, and you really feel it, you end up swaying naturally. You get carried away.

Makeup shouldn't be removed. (There is a commandment against erasing colour on Shabbat, and removing makeup falls under that). Sometimes I'll put on makeup just before Shabbat and sometimes I'll just go clean skin, depending on my mood. But I've perfected the art of long lasting makeup by now and it usually looks ok even after 24+ hours. But once Shabbat is out the first thing I'll do is wash my face and brush my teeth.
I'd say that it is extremely rare that orthodox men have sex with anyone other than their wives. There have been stories of orthodox men cheating but I'd like to think that with all the boundaries Judasim has in place, it happens a lot less frequently than in secular society. A Rabbi who is unfaithful will most definitely loose respect and be told to stand down.

@EllaDisenchanted Shabbos in Israel is so beautiful. I miss it ❤

"Rabbi who is unfaithful will most definitely loose respect and be told to stand down"
This is naive. People knew (and/or should've known) about Chaim Walder (the Jewish Jimmy Savile) for years but it was covered up. Its true that some of them get busted and outed, but plenty get away with it, or get protected because of who they are or who they are related to.
Sorry, didn't come here to bash, I'll shut up now. But anger at the way the community handles this kind of stuff definitely formed part of the backdrop of my going OTD.

@Offthepath 😡The anger if a community is covering abuse is shared here. Chaim Walder's books were absolutely banned out of my house as soon as I heard about his story. Maybe I'm naive, a few years back abuse was not talked about but nowadays there's so much more awareness.

I know this isn't the Food board - but I keep seeing all these "dips" mentioned and there isn't a bigger dip lover than me and my 8 year old - and would it be awfully imposing of me to ask for a tried and tested recipe or two for a favourtie dip of yours @EllaDisenchanted @Jewishbookwork @jewishorthomum ? We are big lovers of garlic - not sure that is useful information, and slightly randomly - my favourite veg is aubergine. Any dips you associate with home that you'd recommend? Thanks in advance :)

Reverts? That's a ridiculous term used by some Muslims who say that everyone was born a Muslim so it's just coming back to the faith.

with pleasure! about to go in to a meeting so will please G-d write them up afterwards. Got to warn you though that I don't use recipes, and cook them by taste, so I am going to have to guess the quantities and measurements 😁

What would you do if your child converted to a different faith or your husband decided he was an atheist?

Are there any scriptural rules you would have a problem with following?

Ah I was raised by my indian grandma in an indian kitchen - where no written recipes existed! I eyeball everything and I promise to make any and all dips you recommend. I am currently watching a challah bread making video and I have gone down a huge rabbit hole of Jewish food now and cannot work!

What household tasks are prohibited on Shabbat? You can’t cook, but can you set food out or does it all have to be set out in advance? Can you have showers, flush toilets etc?

Sorry for the mistake, I think it was quite apparent what I meant. 🙄 Calling it 'ridiculous' comes across quite disrespectful.

@FrumSH what about Chaim Halpern and the abuse allegations? 30 something women came forward to say he molested them during counselling and I remember something about because it was over clothes that it wasn't deemed to be too bad? Pearl, who features on Frieda Vizel's videos and she has a son who went OTD. A bit of a Google showed that he had been molested by his rabbi in school from quite a young age. When his parents did find out, all they did was write a letter to ask that he was removed from his position, "we do not seek revenge" and they didn't go to authorities. In Jewish law it seems there is something about not seeking non Jewish authority (ie the police) for help/retribution. Is this something that still happens?

Now I am confused about shabbat, while women are slogging away preparing and organising shabbat do the men get a let out to fornicate?

I fail to understand how fornication is linked to Sabbath? The poster you quote is responding to two seperate questions asked - one pertaining to the everyday routines of sabbath (Which may or may not mirror the wifework one sees on these boards for Christmas, or indeed Diwali, from my knowledge) - and a second, seperate question about extra marital affairs in the community. How are these linked please?

This post is what confused me. We're talking about shabbat or so I thought. Now it's make-up, sex on a Friday and unfaithful husbands rabbis which have crept in on the following posts 🤷‍♀️

It is an AMA. People are asking about anything, as the OP has kindly offered to answer.

My family's favourite and really easy cheats babaganoush.

Cut an aubergine in half longways (unpeeled, cut off the green spiky bit at the top). Place white side up in hot oven (200-220) until nice and dark brown, not burnt. (about 40 minutes or so...really bad with times)

Puree (peel and all) with a stick blender, add fresh garlic to taste - approx 1 garlic clove per aubergine.

Add mayo to taste.

Thats it.

You can make a bunch of the puree and freeze before adding mayo.