I'm an Orthodox Jewish Woman, ask me anything.

[Jewishbookwork]

On the thread @Israelilefty started, people were asking about Orthodox Judaism. So I am starting (another) one here. Other Orthodox Jewish women are welcome to answer too, so we have more of a range of answers.

I am Chabad Chasidic, we are very religious - I wear a wig, my husband wears black and white and we have lots of books in hebrew in our house.

Do you have higher level qualifications? I'm aware that many (if not most?) of teachers in Stamford Hill schools don't have a degree.

Yes I have a degree. I got my degree through college.
So I went through the ultra orthodox school system. Primary School, high school, Jewish seminary, worked locally as a secretary for a year, got married at 20, and then got my degree.
But there are some teachers I work with who don't have a degree, but they all have L3/L4 qualifications.

How do you feel about the idea that you cannot question anything to do with your faith? About the concept that all questions have already been asked, and answered?

Also, we stay in Llandudno every summer and used to be over the road from the retreat and I always love seeing the families gathering on a Friday night!

How come you're on the internet if you're Hasidic ?

I don't think the OP is a Hassidic Jew.

Chabad is chasidic, but it has a very different approach to other chassidus . They actively engage with the world, doing a lot of outreach, and do use technology and internet. They have a website chabad.org
(I’m not chabad). Chabad is also known as lubavitch

@PyongyangKipperbang Im not sure what you mean about not being allowed to question anything to do with the faith? Do you mind clarifying/ giving a source for what you mean please and then I can answer

@emmagrundy OP says she is Hasidic Jew in her opening post

@TheWonderSpot forgot to tag you sorry

Being that building a family is such an important part of our religion, most of the career options that the girls are interested in are those that conform to busy family life.

This is a really interesting thread, thank you.

What if a girl grew up knowing that she didn’t want to get married and / or have children? Not necessarily lesbian, just happier that way. Would there be pressure on her to do it anyway?

Id say the question is broader actually, I think boys and girls can struggle with not wanting to marry and have a family.
Given the community and family focus of Jewish life, socially there is an automatic peer pressure, even before any overt pressure. Given the peer pressure and tendencies for people to want to conform, I think it would be more unusual for someone to grow up with such a strong conviction against family and kids, but they might not have an active desire for a spouse/family. Given the social aspect, that’s a hard place to be in naturally, not because of overt pressure.
Would there be active pressure put on a man/woman to marry etc if they were adamantly against it? It would depend on a)the community and b) the family.
I have read in the Jewish magazines (letters to the editor type discussions) back and forth conversations about when to start the process of shidduchim, for example a lot of discussion about if a girl comes back from Sem highly idealistic, is it better for them to wait and settle down a bit, before starting dating, or vice versa if a girl (or boy) says they’re not ready, but it’s been several years and they keep pushing things off, do you push them to try.
Do some men and women struggle and think maybe they’d have been happier not being a mother/father? Very probably.

But surely they aren't then encouraged to consider all options e.g. high flying career and no family? It's completely misogynistic, assuming that a woman's place will be to have kids.

What I mean is the letters to the editor show the universal struggle of parents, just within a Jewish context : do we push our kids when we think something will be good for them, do we guide them, how much do we guide them, what’s the right course of action, are we doing the right thing, should we take a step back and leave them to it? And of course every family and situation is different.
is that considered pressurizing? I’m sure in some cases it is and it’s too much, but I think that is universally true of parents and not unique to this situation. Sometimes as parents we know (or think we know what is best) for our kids and push them, and sometimes parents overstep.

apologies for the ramble 🙈

Both a man and a woman’s place is to raise a family. The obligation however is on the man not the woman. For woman it has to be a choice , as pregnancy and childbirth can be life threatening (particularly historically) and we don’t obligate someone to risk their life.

both @jewishorthomum and I have professional careers by the way.

It’s hard to explain because culturally we’re coming from different places. As a religious Jew I see my purpose in life to constantly improve myself and grow, to develop my relationship with Gd, to do good in the world, by following the framework of the Torah.

Having children and raising a family is a big part of that. I value my role as a mother as both a huge privilege, and the most important part of my life’s work and (probably the hardest). When considering work and a career, of course I wanted it to be fulfilling and stimulating, and I love the work I do, it’s very meaningful and makes a difference in people’s lives, and it’s not just a way to put bread on the table. But it’s only a part of my identity and purpose and not the biggest one. If I had a career and no family, I’d feel a huge loss. Conversely I think if I was home all day I’d hate it too, but there can be balance.

@EllaDisenchanted that reminds me, I've heard about the obligation/commandment on the man to have children. What would happen in a marriage where it was ascertained that the man had unresolvable fertility issues? Would they have to get divorced? What if it was the woman who was infertile? Would he be obligated to divorce her?

@EllaDisenchanted So well explained. This is my outlook too.

No they would not be obligated to divorce in either case.

I know you are all probably getting ready for shabbat, but just want to say thanks for answering 🌹If you have time please put up the menu.

Friday night Dinner:

• Bought dips to go with Challah (Bread)
• Spicey baked Salmon with Grilled veg lettuce salad. (Grill sweet potato, eggplant, mushrooms, add chopped cherry tomatoes and some crunchy croutons, mix with romaine lettuce, garlic mayo dressing. Its really good and pretty!)
• Chicken Soup
• Roasted chicken with baby potatoes
• Bought ice cream

Shabbos Lunch:

• Chopped Egg & Liver Dip with Challah
• Cholent (slow cooked stew, potatoes, beef, beans, barley)
• Grilled Veg Lettuce Salad as above

😋 @jewishorthomum i want some of that salad!

I am probably the world’s most last minute cook, which is good as I had a request late last night to host a couple who are coming to see our neighborhood.

I haven’t finished (and I’m bringing in Shabbat at 4.25!) and 2:45 here 😱

homemade challah (bless the freezer)
bought dips ( will see what the husband found, the shops are random) I’m hoping there is chimichurri
bought chopped liver, olives and pickles
egg, will prob do egg and onion
chicken soup and lokshen (if I get round to doing the lokshen in time)
roasted chicken,
going to put in roasted potatoes in a min
roasted broccoli and cauliflower
ice cream for dessert

tomorrow:
challah, dips, liver and egg and onion
I’ll probably make tomato basil salad, I have rocket, avocado and hearts of palm, so I’ll prob make another salad with that, and I have lettuce and tcp so I’ll chop some veg for the kids too.
I have some chickpeas I’ll probably spice and roast in a few mins
cholent, cold deli (smoked turkey), and we bought a potato kugel as well
I usually make baked chicken poppers or schnitzel but too tired this week
Dessert prob Ice Cream again, unless I throw in some quick brownies (unlikely)

This all sounds so delicious.

My mother, whose mother is not Jewish but her father came on the last Kindertransport, makes delicious schnitzels!

@EllaDisenchanted Yum. There's something about the Israeli dips, they know how to do it!
I'm an expert procrastinator so last minute here too. But honestly when you do Shabbos cooking every week and use recipes that are familiar (or none at all, like me), it doesn't take too long. I started in the kitchen at 11, and I'm mostly done now. Shabbos here comes in at about 3:40, the rush is real!

Eek Christmas lunch did for me, your menus 🙈