I was in the "popular" group at school

[myr]

Following on from the questions being raised around this over the past couple of days.

I left school in 2017.

I don't think any of the 'popular' girls at my school died... But the ones that were popular, and classed as the 'pretty' ones (who all the boys went for, who were never without 'a boyfriend,' and who had their first shag at 13,) never seemed to keep a man.

I know about ten of the 'populars' from school, and they never managed to stay married, and they never seemed to keep a man for more than 2 or 3 years. (A few never even GOT married - ever, and these ones never kept a man for more than 2 or 3 years either.)

They've also got 2-4 kids with different dads. The dads never stayed. These women are in their middle age now, they are permanently single, and they can't get a man to stay for a couple of days now!

Conversely, the girls who were unpopular, and were bullied and picked on, and not classed as 'pretty' at the time, had their first boyfriend at 18-20 years old, got engaged at 22-ish, married at 25-27, and are still with the same man 20-30 years on. They are attractive now, (and have been since their very late teens/early 20s,) after finding their style, and making the most of themselves. Whilst the former 'populars' have lost their looks, after years of suntanning and smoking and boozing.

Interesting.

It's like a neighbour of mine - mid 30s, single, lived near me 3 years. She was hugely popular at school. Since she moved in, she must have had 50 different men around. Mostly for one night, a few for a weekend, a few for a week. Rarely any longer. Around 4 or 5 lasted a few weeks. Super popular with the men it seems. But they never stay. EVER.

I do wonder why.

When I was at school the “popular girls” were always very beautiful, well dressed, from affluent backgrounds, outgoing and they were also usually in the top sets of academic ability too.

They usually also had older boyfriends and were having underage sex and being proud of it.

They were never bullies though and they certainly didn’t want to maliciously hurt or upset other pupils.

Is that how it was for you and/or your circle of friends?

I’m only 6 years older than you and this is what they all claim. I was in the ‘misfits that stick together because nobody else likes them group’ at school and went to four separate secondary schools (army family) I was bullied at every single one and when they were called out on it they genuinely didn’t believe or think it was bullying. So you probably did bully people, or at least your friends did, people don’t just walk around boasting about being a bully. Of the popular people I know of (and may have just Facebook searched) I seem a damn sight more successful than them in their careers.

Do you realise that the ‘popular’ people were the ones who just made the most noise and were not liked by anyone other than their own friends c?

In my school those deemed ‘popular’ changed as we got older.

In the younger years, it seemed that all the tall, pretty girls with lovely hair that all the boys fancied banded together and were pretty nasty and would bully other girls (and ended up all falling out with each other).

As we got older, about 6th form, quite a few dropped out or went to other colleges. Then a new ‘popular’ group kinda formed. They were the drama club crowd. Very confident, very mature, very academic and still very lovely hair. They were teacher pets who were on all the school panels and committees. They were 17 going on 37. The second lot didn’t bully anyone (they did have a lot of attitude towards one young female teacher) but I did find them quite annoying as they were just good at everything little know-it-alls.

The ACTUAL popular kids weren’t part of any particular group. They had a set of friends they were closest too but generally friendly with everyone.