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Original poster

I was in the "popular" group at school

80 replies

myr · 28/08/2023 14:16

Following on from the questions being raised around this over the past couple of days.

I left school in 2017.

OP posts:
FineganFineagain · 28/08/2023 15:11

DumpedByText · 28/08/2023 14:48

Ah that's nice, were you a bitch as that's how I remember 'those' girls!

The popular girls at my school weren't bitchy (there was a separate group of hard nut mean girls but they were only popular amongst themselves).

I was in awe of the popular girls at my school. They were middle class, sporty and confident - lovely girls actually but with advantages most of us didn't have. They had expensive clothes/shoes and lovely hair (unlike me with my hand me downs and rats tails). I always remember they would return from summer holidays with a golden tan as they'd been abroad (this was the 1970s when foreign holidays weren't the norm)! I don't think they ever considered how privileged they were - they didn't know anything else - but they were separate to us plebs. Just different worlds really.

littleblackcat27 · 28/08/2023 15:13

Gellhell · 28/08/2023 14:20

Do you agree that popularity is a subjective construct?

😅😂

nicely put

I just thought ‘twat’ 😀

TheMoth · 28/08/2023 15:19

I think most schools are too big to have 'popular' kids. Half the kids in one side of the year have no idea who the other side are.

There tend to be different groups of kids, and lots of kids accuse other groups of kids off being the the 'popular' ones, but by that, they basically just mean the gregarious ones. Surely if there really were popular kids, they wouldn't actually be in one group of popular kids, because, as they're popular, they'd be friends with everyone.

SausageinaBun · 28/08/2023 15:29

The "popular girls" at my school were horrible and victimized a few of the other girls for their own amusement.

In my DD's school they can be a bit nasty, but more behind backs than outright bullying. The thing I find interesting is that DD says they are "basic" and has no interest in being in the popular group as they are just not interesting enough to hang about with.

I appreciate that the op has flounced off, but I wondered I'd anyone from the popular group at school realised that others don't actually want to be part of their group, so they aren't really "the popular group" as much as "the mainstream group".

234vhh · 28/08/2023 15:32

@SausageinaBun yeah, interesting to muse on that. I sometimes wonder whether it’s harder for the mainstream types in the ‘in’ crowd to grow and develop into who they are since the whole point of that group seems to be ‘the ones who fit in’. I wonder what bargains they make with their truer selves in the way of needing to squash and hide parts of themselves that wouldn’t be deemed to be acceptable.

grayhairdontcare · 28/08/2023 15:39

The popular girls at my school bullied everyone and let the older boys touch them up.
Nothing to brag about really!

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 28/08/2023 16:01

I'm getting Amanda from Motherland vibes.

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 28/08/2023 16:02

BiscuitBiscuitBiscuit

Dungareejack · 28/08/2023 16:09

egowise · 28/08/2023 14:41

Which mlm are you a member of?

You say you didn't bully anyone, but I don't believe you.

I reckon Arbonne and she has a white SUV with Arbonne stickers

blackbeardsballsack · 28/08/2023 16:11

There is some irony in the mocking, unkind responses on this thread. Many of the replies are not cool.

Scaredycatttt · 28/08/2023 16:13

The "popular" girls at my school weren't so much popular as they were pretty and fashionable. Although they had the air of queen bees about them, I don't think many people actually liked them that much because they generally weren't very nice.

Unknownwhere · 28/08/2023 16:17

I was the complete opposite of the popular girls although I always wanted to be one of them. In reality I was a complete nerd, was called ‘weird’ pretty much every day , and ‘lanky’ as I was tall and I was so awkward 😂
I tried to copy the popular girls with make up etc but I never quite got it right and I didn’t have any friends .
The popular ones had been friends from primary school and all lived near each other and they all got the same school bus as it’s stopped by the estate where most of them lived, one day it was icy and the bus was stuck in traffic, packed as usual . I walked past and slipped on the icy pavement - I think the popular kids took the piss out of me for about 6 months after that 🤦‍♀️😂it only stopped when randomly one of the popular boys asked me one day very seriously ‘do you do modelling ? You’re very tall maybe you should?’ They all looked at him quite respectfully and never made fun of me again I could have hugged him 😂

Dungareejack · 28/08/2023 16:18

The very "popular" girls / bullies at my school (in my year specifically) have passed away

  1. cancer
  2. suicide x 2
  3. short illness

I'm only 37! They died young 😧

Harrythehappypig · 28/08/2023 16:21

Isn’t popular just a euphemism for extrovert in a school context?

Ollifer · 28/08/2023 16:21

I dunno what questions you were expecting op...I couldnt give a toss about who people were at school, I'm not at school now 🤷🏻 it literally means nothing if someone was popular or not.

MrsJellybee · 28/08/2023 16:22

TheMoth · 28/08/2023 15:19

I think most schools are too big to have 'popular' kids. Half the kids in one side of the year have no idea who the other side are.

There tend to be different groups of kids, and lots of kids accuse other groups of kids off being the the 'popular' ones, but by that, they basically just mean the gregarious ones. Surely if there really were popular kids, they wouldn't actually be in one group of popular kids, because, as they're popular, they'd be friends with everyone.

This is my view. There are lots of different types. But my touchstone is mid-90s. I remember it all being linked to music. Mainstream e.g Take That - and you were fun, ‘popular’, I guess. Brit-pop you were more trendy rather than popular. Alternative / heavy metal - Therapy?, Metallica- and you weren’t popular, just very, very cool.

And no one actually used the term ‘popular’ or thought about it. And we all just got on with it.

MisschiefMaker · 28/08/2023 16:27

Aw some of you have scared her off ☹️

I was going to ask if they dressed a certain way to differentiate themselves. At my school there was a 'cool group' and they did their pony tails and ties differently to everyone else. They weren't very well liked though and had a mean girls reputation.

felisha54 · 28/08/2023 16:38

How do you know you were popular?

TheMoth · 28/08/2023 16:40

MrsJellybee · 28/08/2023 16:22

This is my view. There are lots of different types. But my touchstone is mid-90s. I remember it all being linked to music. Mainstream e.g Take That - and you were fun, ‘popular’, I guess. Brit-pop you were more trendy rather than popular. Alternative / heavy metal - Therapy?, Metallica- and you weren’t popular, just very, very cool.

And no one actually used the term ‘popular’ or thought about it. And we all just got on with it.

Show quote history

I'm thinking back to 90s too. But also what I see in school today.

The lack of musical tribes saddens me. Although not as much as modern kids who like Coldplay, when they don't need to.

I was very, very cool in school 😁

thecatinthetwat · 28/08/2023 16:41

“I sometimes wonder whether it’s harder for the mainstream types in the ‘in’ crowd to grow and develop into who they are since the whole point of that group seems to be ‘the ones who fit in’. I wonder what bargains they make with their truer selves in the way of needing to squash and hide parts of themselves that wouldn’t be deemed to be acceptable.”

^ I think you are right, this was my experience anyway.

Flaskfan · 28/08/2023 16:54

thecatinthetwat · 28/08/2023 16:41

“I sometimes wonder whether it’s harder for the mainstream types in the ‘in’ crowd to grow and develop into who they are since the whole point of that group seems to be ‘the ones who fit in’. I wonder what bargains they make with their truer selves in the way of needing to squash and hide parts of themselves that wouldn’t be deemed to be acceptable.”

^ I think you are right, this was my experience anyway.

They remain people pleasers, marry men who are a bit shit, but acceptable to the group,then wake up in their 30s and divorce them.

MiddleParking · 28/08/2023 17:02

Dungareejack · 28/08/2023 16:18

The very "popular" girls / bullies at my school (in my year specifically) have passed away

  1. cancer
  2. suicide x 2
  3. short illness

I'm only 37! They died young 😧

Hard to see why someone whose character is ‘casually crowing about the the horrible deaths of women in their thirties because of things that happened at school’ wasn’t better liked by their peers.

user9630721458 · 28/08/2023 17:03

When I was young I thought 'popular' meant that you were fancied by boys, had a group of friends and others thought you pretty. As we approached 6th form I did begin to realise that you can be all those things and still be not very nice, happy or even liked. I now think of 'popular' girls as those who were trusted and stood up against bullies, even if they weren't the prettiest or coolest - they had everyone's respect.

WibblyWobblyTimeyWimeyStuff · 28/08/2023 17:07

MiddleParking · 28/08/2023 17:02

Hard to see why someone whose character is ‘casually crowing about the the horrible deaths of women in their thirties because of things that happened at school’ wasn’t better liked by their peers.

Show quote history

That poster is hardly crowing! She's just saying what happened. What an over-reaction!

WibblyWobblyTimeyWimeyStuff · 28/08/2023 17:08

Why have you left the thread @myr ??? Confused