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AMA

I've got Oxbridge educated professional parents - from an affluent area - my partner was brought up on a council estate by parents on benefits AMA

103 replies

SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 18:01

This basically!! AMA!!!!

OP posts:
EyesOnThePies · 20/02/2023 18:20

Thanks OP, but I can think of nothing at all that I need to ask about this absolutely non-issue of a situation.

Escapingmadness · 20/02/2023 18:26

Why do you actually think this is interesting?

If your husband has risen through the ranks to have a high flying career and/or attended Oxbridge - well done to him for, no doubt, having to navigate a really hard path at times to prove himself.

But him falling in love with you, and you with him, isn't the interesting story in this!

adriftabroad · 20/02/2023 18:27

What is there to ask? I could last lots of people about this very ordinary situation.

Nothing to ask.

Hillrunning · 20/02/2023 18:30

Could you answer my question please?

Quirkyme · 20/02/2023 18:31

Hillrunning · 20/02/2023 18:30

Could you answer my question please?

😂😂

Quirkyme · 20/02/2023 18:32

This is quite ridiculous.

smileladiesplease · 20/02/2023 18:36

My last boyfriend was a trust fund millionaire!!

Now that's a line I would have clung on to him like a limpet!

Op if you two are happy whats the issue don't get it.

SarahAndQuack · 20/02/2023 18:37

I think you're getting slightly weird responses TBH. It does sometimes make a difference if you're in a relationship with someone where you've got quite different backgrounds/your families have different expectations. My DP and I are quite similar to you/your DP - I'm curious whether your DP's family were welcoming or not? My MIL quite explicitly wishes DP had met someone 'more like us'.

SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 18:40

SarahAndQuack · 20/02/2023 18:37

I think you're getting slightly weird responses TBH. It does sometimes make a difference if you're in a relationship with someone where you've got quite different backgrounds/your families have different expectations. My DP and I are quite similar to you/your DP - I'm curious whether your DP's family were welcoming or not? My MIL quite explicitly wishes DP had met someone 'more like us'.

Yes DPs family were very welcoming

OP posts:
HoodieBell · 20/02/2023 18:40

This is a very strange AMA. Do you think that if your husband had the benefit of your background and upbringing that he might have achieved a higher educational level?

SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 18:42

HoodieBell · 20/02/2023 18:40

This is a very strange AMA. Do you think that if your husband had the benefit of your background and upbringing that he might have achieved a higher educational level?

He may have done yes.

OP posts:
HoodieBell · 20/02/2023 18:44

Do you worry that it may foster resentment that he didn't get the opportunities you did?

Thepurplelantern · 20/02/2023 18:44

Honestly do you look down on your DH?

Willowtre1 · 20/02/2023 18:44

I think the fact you were educated at a sixth form college in a council estate area makes it likely you would mix with working class kids, and ending up with one isn't that surprising as socially you are mixing. I opened the thread imaging it would be you had never mixed with working class until you somehow crossed paths, and.on that scenario I might have expected it would present some challenges for you. If there is anything particular/notable you can share about the situation, do!?

SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 18:45

HoodieBell · 20/02/2023 18:44

Do you worry that it may foster resentment that he didn't get the opportunities you did?

My parents were both abusive. His home was loving and secure. He has no reason to envy me!

OP posts:
SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 18:46

Thepurplelantern · 20/02/2023 18:44

Honestly do you look down on your DH?

No I'm envious of the love and archive gets from his parents which I never had

OP posts:
Cosmos123 · 20/02/2023 18:46

You sound similar to be honest.
You were to same 6th form.

If you went to a high end boarding public school with a trust fund I may have a question.

But u r v similar as I can see.

Ponderingwindow · 20/02/2023 18:47

Do you and your spouse share similar values with regards to educating your children?

SlaveToTheVibe · 20/02/2023 18:47

Who cares? My husband and all his family went to Oxford…. Nobody cares apart from social climbing twats like my dad IME

SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 18:48

Willowtre1 · 20/02/2023 18:44

I think the fact you were educated at a sixth form college in a council estate area makes it likely you would mix with working class kids, and ending up with one isn't that surprising as socially you are mixing. I opened the thread imaging it would be you had never mixed with working class until you somehow crossed paths, and.on that scenario I might have expected it would present some challenges for you. If there is anything particular/notable you can share about the situation, do!?

Ok my upbringing was abusive his was loving and secure. I feel much happier with his parents than I ever was with my own.

Your observations about me going to a 6th form in a known council estate/working class area are spot on tbh

OP posts:
SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 18:49

Ponderingwindow · 20/02/2023 18:47

Do you and your spouse share similar values with regards to educating your children?

They'll be state school educated as we both were

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 20/02/2023 18:50

You sound lovely & normal in your posts OP, so I don't want to sound arsey...

But this thread is both odd & kind of horrible. There's a implication that there's something very odd that you come from one kind of educational background & your DH another.

Do you think it's a big deal?

SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 18:50

Cosmos123 · 20/02/2023 18:46

You sound similar to be honest.
You were to same 6th form.

If you went to a high end boarding public school with a trust fund I may have a question.

But u r v similar as I can see.

Yes actually I agree !

OP posts:
SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 18:52

EarringsandLipstick · 20/02/2023 18:50

You sound lovely & normal in your posts OP, so I don't want to sound arsey...

But this thread is both odd & kind of horrible. There's a implication that there's something very odd that you come from one kind of educational background & your DH another.

Do you think it's a big deal?

No - not a big deal. Apart from the fact I feel more secure with his parents than I ever did with my own

OP posts:
Willowtre1 · 20/02/2023 18:53

Thanks for your reply OP. I think you have mixed up the different family situations in terms of abuse/love and care with class. Your bad experience is for you associated with the type of upbringing, but in reality abuse can happen anywhere. I'm glad you are happy with your DH and his family, I don't have the happiest family myself and love my DHs family. They are so welcoming and uncomplicated. We have very similar backgrounds class wise but very very different relationships with our parents

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