I have quite a different gifted child

[PennyRa]

Reading through the ama yesterday I realised I have quite a different gifted child on the severe end of the gifted spectrum. If you'd like, I can answer questions from a different perspective.

FAQs:

Are they Autistic?
Yes, on the far end of that spectrum too.

When did you know?
When they were 2 and went from nonverbal to reading out loud everything around them, followed by them demonstrating they could do arithmetics, and so on.

So they have hyperlexia and hypernumeracy?
No, upon testing we discovered they had full understanding. They just figured it out.

How's their emotional intelligence?
Very high too. As a 6 year old they were able to identify and discuss complex emotions characters might be feeling and potential motivations behind their actions in a way not even expected of GCSE students.

What areas are they gifted in?
They are globally gifted. It's not about subject areas, their brain just functions differently.

Are they in school?
There are no appropriate provisions available for children in this position. They would be in year 6 if they were.

Are they good at sports?
No, sports are physical so being gifted does not affect it. They are pretty average. Same for art.

Will they take their GCSES and A Levels early?
No, they could easily but there is no point. They may not take them at all, only if they become necessary for something they want.

Do they like the things other children their age typically do?
Some, they've never been interested in children's TV but some games, books, things like Lego.

What is the hardest part of having a gifted child?
It's a lot and very full on all the time.

What is the best thing about having a gifted child?
Seeing the amazing things they do with utter joy in their heart.

This thread is weird

Why is your ds different to other gifted children?

How do you know they could do their GCSEs / A Levels early? Are they 6?

my ds was g & t, got a scholarship at a good school…..he’s 20 now. At uni, and is definitely bright and on for a first but he’s also really undisciplined and disorganised. Constantly getting into situations about practical things, E.g. bills. Kids who are less bright can easily get ahead if they have more disciplined/ conscientious. IQ only accounts for about 40% of the variance of success outcomes, so 60% is coming from somewhere else. Conscientiousness is a big one. Bright people with no conscientiousness are basically cancelled out!

My conclusion is that IQ is much more exciting when they are young and there are no responsibilities, but when the other 60% of variance kicks in in real life….who knows what will happen!

That's so wonderful your child found her happiness!

Excellent. We had the ‘light’ end, now we have the ‘far’ end.

More goady bullshit. Will you ask for this one to be removed like the ‘other poster’?🙄

I don't know if we were just lucky but every doctor we saw just further confirmed they were on the spectrum, we never had any push back whatsoever. I hope your child is doing better now

Sorry if I confused you, I meant different from the other ama

Yes but probably not in the way you are thinking. Most questions are "can you find me resources to learn about X"

Can you share some cool examples of the things they are interested in or have done?

Are they into music at all? I have met lots of autistic and gifted musicians whose autism helps them to do incredible amounts of focussed practice.

My parents discovered my sister could read when she was 2, and there were no appropriate provisions for her in school, as you write. She ended up being a keen musician and getting an oxbridge degree in maths. I think she likes her life :) All the best to your child!

How interesting do you have any links for that ?

Why don't you want them to do their GCSES?

We really need to drop the idea that we send children to school for the 'social side'. They spend the day in one room with 30 children who happened to be born in the same year as them. Home educated children go out all the time, they still go to scouts and gymnastics and the park. They still have friends, of all ages, that they meet regularly.
School can be amazing for lots of children, but for many, especially if they aren't neurotypical and average ability, it is not a safe space. We don't insist that all adults work in an office to socialise, it's crazy that we expect it of all children.

OP, well done for letting your daughter follow her interests and needs and putting her mental health and happiness first. I'm sure she will do amazing things in life.

Do you have other children? How do they cope with it and are they following the traditional school route?

Yes but grown

When i say social side - i don't actually mean to socialize with friends so maybe I am using the wrong term but rather in life most people have to work or rub along with all sorts of people - some they will like and some they wont and being in a class of 30 people - some you like and some you don't - helps to develop skills that enable you to get along with people regardless, if you only socialize with people similar to you and that you like doesn't prepare you for the real world!

Your DC can easily get a bursary in a top top independent school - are you not tempted? Don’t you think it is worth a try to socialise them and feed their interests in a rounded way? So if you find the right school, the various teachers might be able to provide the stimulation?

Thank you! Lots of children really struggle socially at school but thrive at home

It's not that I don't want them to, there is just no point right now

Sure, recently they have been in to building robots and coding games and physics simulations.

Yes they play multiple instruments and love the theory and history.

Home ed children live in the real world

There are no appropriate provisions available for children in this position. That includes private schools. Yes some may be able to provide for their academic needs but not their severe sen needs at the same time.

What does “gifted and talented” mean in this context? Google was not helpful and it seems to relate to a government program which was scrapped 10+ years ago.

From context I understand that it means particularly bright, but where does talented come in?

Do the two things have to go together?

Who/what defines “gifted and talented” and why?

How is a “gifted and talented” child different from an extremely smart child?

(I confess to having a personal interest having just been told that DS2 is working at a level many years ahead, could easily sit his qualifications now except the school doesn’t do that, and they don’t know what to do to challenge him.)

Gifted and talented are two different things. Talented is being great in a physical pursuit such as football or painting.

We are talking about gifted which is a neurological difference and exists on a spectrum. Where the cut off for the spectrum ends is a point of high contention because the majority of those who are considered gifted are on the lowest end of the spectrum and even more don't make the cut.

Being on the other end with my child I try to stay away from that debate.

Some children who have been hothoused can be a few years ahead but not gifted, while a gifted child who hasn't been given the opportunity to learn concrete knowledge (maybe from neglect, illness, living in a poverty stricken part of the world, ect) may appear average or even behind at first.

Is it a label you have given your own child and if so, how can you be objective about it? What do you feel about the idea of 7 different intelligences? Rather than the idea that some children are inherently more "gifted" (loaded term), than others. I don't believe some children have been bestowed more "gifts" by nature than others. I feel each child has inherent unique strengths.

It's a diagnosis given by a professional. If you don't believe in the neurological difference that is called gifted then you must think other children aren't trying hard enough. Which is wholly unfair.

It's a diagnosis given by a professional. If you don't believe in the neurological difference that is called gifted then you must think other children aren't trying hard enough. Which is wholly unfair.

Completely disagree. Other children aren't trying hard enough at what? Different children excel at different things. We are all different and that what makes life rich. I think you are looking at tbings from a deficit model. My child is an outstanding sports person for example. Another child will be gifted at drama and singing, another at art and creative pursuits. What's the point of singling out one child as gifted? The government scrapped these labels decades ago. Who was the professional that diagnosed your child?