I have quite a different gifted child

[PennyRa]

Reading through the ama yesterday I realised I have quite a different gifted child on the severe end of the gifted spectrum. If you'd like, I can answer questions from a different perspective.

FAQs:

Are they Autistic?
Yes, on the far end of that spectrum too.

When did you know?
When they were 2 and went from nonverbal to reading out loud everything around them, followed by them demonstrating they could do arithmetics, and so on.

So they have hyperlexia and hypernumeracy?
No, upon testing we discovered they had full understanding. They just figured it out.

How's their emotional intelligence?
Very high too. As a 6 year old they were able to identify and discuss complex emotions characters might be feeling and potential motivations behind their actions in a way not even expected of GCSE students.

What areas are they gifted in?
They are globally gifted. It's not about subject areas, their brain just functions differently.

Are they in school?
There are no appropriate provisions available for children in this position. They would be in year 6 if they were.

Are they good at sports?
No, sports are physical so being gifted does not affect it. They are pretty average. Same for art.

Will they take their GCSES and A Levels early?
No, they could easily but there is no point. They may not take them at all, only if they become necessary for something they want.

Do they like the things other children their age typically do?
Some, they've never been interested in children's TV but some games, books, things like Lego.

What is the hardest part of having a gifted child?
It's a lot and very full on all the time.

What is the best thing about having a gifted child?
Seeing the amazing things they do with utter joy in their heart.

Is your child happy?

Most of the time, very!

Wow sounds fascinating OP! Also a little freaky (no offence intended), I just think I’d find it all a bit surreal.

Are they not doing education at all? What if they want to go into higher education?

My DD is G&T too, we first realised quite early on her fine motor skills were amazing at a very early age. Her pencil control, writing and drawing ability too. She taught herself to read way before she started school where she was bored with learning phonics and reading books. At 14 we realised she was autistic after she was badly bullied at school for being “weird” she’s now 17 and art is her life, she left school a year early and went to college for a year before art school and she is loving it. She’s finally found her tribe. She’s happy to be autistic as she always thought she was weird and must have masked for years. It’s been a bumpy road for her but I think she’s finally on her path.

When were they diagnosed as gifted and was the autism diagnosis before or after? What autistic traits does your child have - is it just sensory as they have high emotional intelligence? (DD1 was similar but couldn't have done what yours did at six regarding character's motivations and emotions, probably couldn't do it now either, tbh!)

Fascinating!

Does your DC have god friendships?

Do you worry about their future on any level?

Do you have any concerns their intellectual precocity might be a problem for them in the future?

just sounds like most kids to me.

I completely understand, it freaked me out at first. No, they are home educated and have mentors. If they want to go to university at some point when they are ready we will do whatever it takes to facilitate that.

Btw most jobs will require some form of maths and English at gcse or equivalent so you preventing them taking exams is counterproductive and cruel

No it doesn't, behave 😂

Do you worry that your DC finds you stupid?

Do they have siblings?

Do they ask a lot of questions?

That's so sad that she isn't being socialised with her peers. School isn't just about academics.

My dd was very similar to your child, except we felt the social aspect of school was incredibly important - they can learn the soft skills needed for life. The teen years were far more challenging, by later studying was challenging due to mental health concerns, plus missed actual exams.

At least I'm not the only person that had a non verbal child suddenly start reading and speaking, already able to read and do simple maths ... I have never met anyone else!

I'm so sorry your child had to go through that, but it's so heartwarming to hear how things turned out. She sounds amazing!

My dd plays 7 instruments and sings, but I would love for her just one dad make a friend

Sounds very much like my life 😂 Except I didn't get a diagnosis until I was 32.

It was part of their autism evaluation. Yes lots of sensory, routine, and "in their own world"ness, also regular stimming

I had a child just like that, but she was also exceptional at sports. Yes, she went to a Russell Group university and got her degree.

And guess what? She was bright enough to take a look around her and decide she didn't want to work herself into the ground for money.

So, she works a pretty good job that pays her £35k for a four day week, she's been in a stable relationship for 30 years and she's happy. Her partner, her allotment and her dog are all important to her. Her job? That's something she does to pay the bills.

that's what I call success. If your child is so bright, op, they may well see the same light my daughter saw.

Love this. I was very academic growing up, school was boringly easy, worked in the City for a bit but realised that it wasn't making me happy. I now work part time in a job that I enjoy but it doesn't stretch me intellectually. But I put my energy into my family, my kids, hobbies, cooking etc and that is what makes me happy. I have friends still doing the City job thing and they are without exception rich and miserable.

You did well to get an autism diagnosis as well and not fobbed off with the gifted label, I guess your child's high intellect may help with 'theory of mind'. You're doing the right thing by home educating, I wish we'd done that sooner, although in hindsight I don't regret sending dd to primary, it was secondary where it all broke down. Mental health is the most important thing as I'm sure you know.

They have friends at their special groups who they love. I used to worry but I had to just accept that I can't know the future I can only do what's best for them right now and not put any age related expectations on them.

I think they feel sorry for me but will never tell me because they don't want to hurt my feelings.

My 15 year old was the same. Didn’t utter a single word until he was 2 and a bit. He then went from nothing to conversing in proper grown up sentences pretty much straight away and we discovered he could read everything. When he started school his spelling was higher than they could test and his reading was 14+. He should really have been doing work with the year 6s but socially that was not recommended.
however like a previous poster we felt school wasn’t just about learning academically, it’s social skills, non academic subjects like sports, art and drama, teamwork, sharing, etc etc.
even now all we get from teachers is how amazing he is and how he knows more than they do half the time! He’s come a long way socially and will never be mr life and soul of the party but has a couple of good friends now.
He does a lot of self learning and seems to be fine and not bored. I feel he’s become a lot more well rounded and I’m glad we didn’t either hot house hime or deregulated him from school as there are so many other skills needed to be successful in the world or work and I think a recent study showed that EQ is just as important if not more important than IQ.

@Tryfull , someone after my own heart. I've been asked if I'm disappointed in her supposed lack of ambition. I'm really v proud that she recognised that making money is just a racket she didn't want to take part in