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AMA
Original poster

I've served a prison sentence

598 replies

NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 17:51

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 19:00

SherbertLemonDrop · 01/08/2022 18:46

Such an interesting thread. Wishing you all the best OP! Something needs to be done to help the lady who got life for murdering her child's rapist.

She will probably be due for parole any time now. There was another girl there for murder of her boyfriend but there was so much evidence that he used to beat her up and she had stabbed him in self defence. It took 8 years but she finally won her appeal a few years ago x

OP posts:
BoopTheFoof · 01/08/2022 19:01

NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 18:01

Yes they are criminals but only for as long as their criminal record, most become spent after 5 years.

Do you know how many people are in their for genuine mistakes / stupid decisions, they've been speeding ect. Do you think they deserve to live the rest of their life labelled as a criminal?

Someone was in their because she had murdered a man who had raped her child. Should she be labelled a criminal for the rest of her life?

People make stupid decisions, it doesn't mean they should spend the rest of their life's with a label.

Sorry you're so judgemental, I'm sure you're absolutely perfect xxx

Show quote history

She was asking a question. You don't have to be sarcastic 🤷‍♀️

Thatsenoughnow · 01/08/2022 19:01

Sorry if you've been asked this but do you think that prison was the right punishment for your crime? And how much rehabilitation went on in there?

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 19:01

PeggyGa · 01/08/2022 18:46

What a great thread

well done for turning your life around, you have inspired me.

also well done for quoting the questions so I could keep up! Drives me mad when I don’t know the question!

Thank you!

Hahaha me too - it won't let you quote a quote though and some people have replied again and I can't work out how to reply so I'm not that good! Trying though x

OP posts:
JustAsking90 · 01/08/2022 19:05

You sound decent. Like you were in a shit situation, got caught out, served your sentence and matured a hell of a lot. I used to be a bit of a shithead too - always have big respect for people like us who got out despite a few scars. So many of us never manage to change. Good on you.

Society · 01/08/2022 19:06

I don't have a question OP but just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread. I think people are unaware of how many ex offenders they come into contact with daily, who are just completely normal people getting on with their lives. You sound like you've really turned your life around and that's to be applauded

The poster you speak of has some kind of fixation on all prisoners being rapists, child murderers or extremely violent criminals. Please don't let their ignorant views get to you.

Isausernameavailable · 01/08/2022 19:08

I'm running a project to get more people with lived experience working (properly paid, not volunteering) in the criminal justice system. Do you think I'll get many takers? What do you think would motivate them to get involved?

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 19:09

IR230622 · 01/08/2022 18:47

Ok so I have already thought of some questions. But they kind of relate to women I've seen on tiktok who have been in American prisons.
The food- over there it seems to be disgusting. Literally labelled "not for human consumption", some of it is mouldy etc. Is it better in the UK?

Periods- over there, you get 1 pack of pads a month. There is no way of getting more without buying them. Is it similar here?

Snacks- can you buy snacks every day? Like I'd die without snacks (not that I plan on going to prison, but you never know!). Or is it like doing a weekly shop? Is it using money from your normal bank, or only from money from your job in prison?

So so sorry for all the questions but I am soooooo fascinated!

It's edible but it's never something you think 'oh I'd eat that again'.

They serve chicken legs a lot, but only ever left legs. Apparently the right ones go to hospitals! It's pretty similar to hospital food tbf. You get a menu each week and pick what you want for the week. For breakfast you get either cereal, weetabix or a cereal bar. Lunch is a sandwich/wrap/pasta salad and either a piece of fruit or some sort of muffin. And a chocolate penguin every single day. I hate those now. Then tea is like a burger / ONE slice of pizza, lasagne ect and you choose if you want chips / rice / jacket potato with it.

You order snacks weekly, on a canteen sheet which has loads on, mars bars, crisps ect along with shampoo, tampax, stamps ect.

You get free tampax from the jail though and there's no limit to how many you're allowed.

So you get your wages on your canteen sheet (between £8-25 a week) and then you get £5.50 of your own money (if you have it) if you're a basic prisoner, £15.50 if you're standard or £25.50 if you're enhanced. You need to purchase phone credit from this too. I used to buy £5 phone credit and spend the rest on chocolate and noodles (cheap and necessary when you're starving) x

OP posts:
Ravenclawdropout · 01/08/2022 19:10

For people calling others criminals its like calling women prostitutes. Crime and prostitution are actions you do they are not your identity. As the OP has stated there is a massive range of crimes women are in for, the most serious and most violent are a minority and are not in the same category of women not paying fines or something.

Visiting prisoners is a work of mercy in the Bible as far as Jesus is concerned. "There but for the grace of God go I".
Treat others as you would want to be treated in their position.

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 19:10

lionsmane22 · 01/08/2022 18:51

To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association

That seems to downplay it somewhat...as if you're not really taking responsibility for whaetver you did.

I wish I could show you exactly what I did to see if you still thought the same but obviously I can't without giving away my identity.

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 19:10

LemonLymanDotCom · 01/08/2022 18:51

No questions, just wanted to jump on the thread to wish you all the best for the future. It sounds like you have a really positive mindset, I hope your life keeps on going in a good direction. You’ve done your time after all.

Thanks so much xx

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 19:11

Weirdlynormal · 01/08/2022 18:52

OP I did a couple of things for a boyfriend in my 20's that could have got me locked up for a loooong time. I look back at that period of my life and wonder what the fuck I was thinking. There but for luck and a fair wind go I.

I'm glad things have worked out well for you.

I look back and think the same!! I'm glad you didn't get caught haha! Thanks for your kind comment xx

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 19:11

Pebblebeach15 · 01/08/2022 18:53

You want to change the perception of criminals , so I just wanted to add that in my eyes you are not a criminal . You were , you paid the price and then a fresh start and you turned it around .

Thank you! That's all I wish people could understand- That people can change! X

OP posts:
Eddielizzard · 01/08/2022 19:12

You're amazing, thank you for being so open and honest.

What sort of jobs could you do, and did they train you in anything so that you had more options when you got out? If they didn't, do you think learning something in prison would be a positive thing?

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 19:14

FireWorks33 · 01/08/2022 18:54

Thank you for replying. I think you’ve done amazingly.
Re the drugs, I’ve read that dealers can make money in prison but I don’t understand how as surely 90% of prisoners have no money anyway and even those that do presumably can’t access it in prison?

Good question - basically, whoever is buying the drugs will ring their mum/partner/friend ect and ask them to transfer money to an account (which will be a friend/relative of the one selling them) so the money will be exchanged on the outside. If it's low value (they sell prescription drugs and everything) they'll take the payment in canteen, so like £10 worth of chocolate ect 🙈

OP posts:
OldSpinster · 01/08/2022 19:14

what sort of books did you read? Do you borrow them from the library and are the libraries good?

Are there opportunities for learning and what are they like?

CallOnMe · 01/08/2022 19:15

And stand your ground from the minute you get there, if you look soft people will try ask you for your clothes/food ect, just say no.

I always wondered about this - did you act extra tough or were you just normal?

Ive heard you have to go in and act really tough!

When I was training as a teacher they told me not to smile until December and I walked into my first classroom with a massive grin on my face and never stopped smiling or being nice - I think I’d be exactly the same in prison lol.

I think it’s great you have to ‘work’ too.
It gives people purpose and hopefully helps them adjust when they get back to real life.

CallOnMe · 01/08/2022 19:16

Also were you ever coerced into taking drugs or doing anything you didn’t want to do whilst in jail?

Jalisco · 01/08/2022 19:18

NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 17:57

It was absolutely terrifying arriving because you imagine everyone to be a scary gangster. But it's not like that at all, there were quite a lot of child abusers / child killers in there and they would keep themselves to themselves and associate with each other. Then there were a lot in for drug related offences but they would be just 'normal' people.

Someone was once horrible to me and before they'd even finished their sentence about 10 other girls had told her to shut up.

They look after each other, if you needed shower gel, someone would give it to you, if someone arrived with no clothes, everyone would give them something ect.

I still speak to a couple of girls who were in there, they're both completely normal, both have never reoffended, have houses, jobs, kids ect.

Show quote history

Child abusers and killers are category A / B prisoners, and a very small proportion of the prison population. You were imprisoned for a minor first time offence, for a very short period of time. How did a cat D, at worst cat C prisoner end up incarcerated in a prison mostly full of Cat A and B prisoners? That was very unlucky.

Darbs76 · 01/08/2022 19:20

I was in college with a group of 3 women for 2yrs, only when some were looking for jobs we found out 1 of our friends had served 4yrs in prison. Shocked was an understatement but it made me see things differently. She had allowed her partner to use her house to deal drugs. She had a young child too

Lengokengo · 01/08/2022 19:21

The timetable you wrote sounds the same as my Catholic boarding school! We also had a chocolate penguin bar every day! Maybe prisons are modelled on convents…

Do you feel that prison served a purpose for you? Did it rehabilitate you? Give you skills to turn your life around?

Louise0701 · 01/08/2022 19:22

@Palg68 I wrote my question. Incase you missed it; how can you change that perception?

I assumed the question mark at the end would give it away.

DelisButAlsoCrime · 01/08/2022 19:22

This thread is fascinating OP and your responses have been so interesting to read.

Was there media coverage of what you did at the time? And if you Google your name does it still come up? I never really understand why some cases, even very minor ones without any prison sentence, seem to come up super prominently on eg the Daily Mail but some seem to get no attention at all.

Loginmystery · 01/08/2022 19:22

I wouldn’t judge you at all op. But you’ve made me think about my own experiences. I had a criminal record over 30 years ago. (Minor crime and no one hurt) but I’m so ashamed. I’ve never told my grown up children. Why the bloody shame? I wouldn’t judge anyone else harshly. Anyway this is an interesting thread and I hope you can see not everyone looks down on people who have had your experience.

CaptainBeakyandhisband · 01/08/2022 19:22

If it helps at all, the person I know who has been to prison did some work on my house. I liked him when he came to quote and he seemed motivated etc. when I ran his name through Google all the details came up with the local newspaper. DH and I talked about it but ultimately we decided that the crime was unrelated and he’d paid the price for a shitty decision. I’m so glad we gave him the work because he worked so hard and was great to have around (and we’ve had him back since). We’ve never spoken about prison but I do wonder whether the experience has sort of scared him into behaving - is it like that for you? Would you do anything not to go back?

the person we sentenced had seemingly spent most of his adult life in jail, which is horribly sad.

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