I'm a wedding Registrar AMA

[Loveweddings]

I've been a part-time wedding Registrar for a couple of years and love my job. Happy to answer any questions.

Specky, I'm not an expert (we have managers for any tricky situations!) but I'm pretty sure that's not true. The witnesses are witnessing that they've heard the couple say the words to each other, the verbal contract, rather than witnessing or confirming that the marriage is genuine

Sorry weddingguest, missed yours. I'm sure there are some big weddings planned for this winter. I only look ahead a month or two and only look at the details of each wedding a week or two beforehand, before I speak to the couple

Why does it cost £500 for you to do a ceremony on premises other than the register office?

What’s the most unusual request you’ve had from a couple?

Is it well paid?

What % do you look at and think ‘Nope!’

Would you let a 12 year old be a witness? I know there's no legal minimum age but I gather the registrar decides if someone is competent. How does that work?

OP, if you don't mind, could you quote the post you're responding to in your post, please. Just helps to know the question you've answered. Thanks for starting this. Watching with interest.

Do you ever get really moved by a wedding? My wedding certificate if hand written not typed the registrar seemed bothered she had to do this.
Also she made a spelling mistake on the certificate was a drama for her it seemed? Why do?

@Hetty0

Why does it cost £500 for you to do a ceremony on premises other than the register office?

Where I am a ceremony at the Register Office costs about 350 and at an approved venue 500 I think. I don't know how pricing decisions are made but obviously it costs more for registrars to travel to and between venues

@FauxPsychic

OP, if you don't mind, could you quote the post you're responding to in your post, please. Just helps to know the question you've answered. Thanks for starting this. Watching with interest.

Thanks faux, you've prompted me to finally learn how to do this!

Many thanks and you're welcome too.

@DiamondBright

Would you let a 12 year old be a witness? I know there's no legal minimum age but I gather the registrar decides if someone is competent. How does that work?

I would, yes, but I'd probably like two adult witnesses as well. Always lovely to involve children and I'd have a chat with them beforehand to explain it all

@AppleKatie

What’s the most unusual request you’ve had from a couple?

Is it well paid?

No really unusual requests (yet!). I've had canine ring bearers, various enhancement rituals, many many best men pretending they've forgotten the rings

@AppleKatie

What’s the most unusual request you’ve had from a couple?

Is it well paid?

Sorry, forgot to answer part of this. About 20 - 25k, usually very part time / variable hours

@BeMoreQueer

What % do you look at and think ‘Nope!’

Good question! Honestly, none. It makes the job very joyful.

I had a part time registrar job too, about 10 years ago. It was kind of registrar lite, just doing the weekend venues and not those in the registry office - registrars who did that had a qualification but we were just temp staff with transferable skills. So the pay was terrible! £9 something per hour iirc.

But I really fancied it, wasn’t there for the money really, but I’m afraid I didn’t love it! Out of around 30 weddings, there were only two that felt special and moving. The rest felt so repetitive, with real bridezilla stereotypes, women getting angry with everyone around, and feckless men stereotypes, who were just there for the ride and all the stress was on her. People were just nervous I think but I just found it so sad that people say things like it was the happiest day of their life, but moment by moment I could see that the more dominant emotions (during that part) were stress, anxiety, anger.

I wonder if you have any similar views or maybe I just was unlucky with the ceremonies I got!!

How are the changes to the marriage registration going? Are couples upset not to get their marriage certificate on the day they get married?

It was one of the best bits about my wedding day, being able to hold that piece of paper in my hand, it makes it real. My friends getting married soon and having to sign a piece of white A4 paper (marriage document / marriage schedule) just isn’t the same.

Where are the jobs and training advertised? I have never seen anything locally despite looking for several years. I was a non official wedding celebrant and would love to become a registrar.

@Heruka

I had a part time registrar job too, about 10 years ago. It was kind of registrar lite, just doing the weekend venues and not those in the registry office - registrars who did that had a qualification but we were just temp staff with transferable skills. So the pay was terrible! £9 something per hour iirc.

But I really fancied it, wasn’t there for the money really, but I’m afraid I didn’t love it! Out of around 30 weddings, there were only two that felt special and moving. The rest felt so repetitive, with real bridezilla stereotypes, women getting angry with everyone around, and feckless men stereotypes, who were just there for the ride and all the stress was on her. People were just nervous I think but I just found it so sad that people say things like it was the happiest day of their life, but moment by moment I could see that the more dominant emotions (during that part) were stress, anxiety, anger.

I wonder if you have any similar views or maybe I just was unlucky with the ceremonies I got!!

I like the description 'registrar lite', that's the same role as I do. I haven't found that at all, perhaps I'm a bit oblivious! I often find that the bride / groom enjoy the interview with us beforehand, just because it's a bit of quiet time away from all the noise and excitement.

@Mehmehmeh19

Do you ever get really moved by a wedding? My wedding certificate if hand written not typed the registrar seemed bothered she had to do this. Also she made a spelling mistake on the certificate was a drama for her it seemed? Why do?

Yes, often, but I don't let it show. A sobbing celebrant wouldn't be ideal!

The new system of typed marriage schedules is much less stressful!

@Worldgonecrazy

Where are the jobs and training advertised? I have never seen anything locally despite looking for several years. I was a non official wedding celebrant and would love to become a registrar.

It's a local authority role so their website, also if you google wedding registrar jobs a few come up, which will give you more info about the role, obviously differs between areas. You could contact your council?

@PurBal

How are the changes to the marriage registration going? Are couples upset not to get their marriage certificate on the day they get married?

It was one of the best bits about my wedding day, being able to hold that piece of paper in my hand, it makes it real. My friends getting married soon and having to sign a piece of white A4 paper (marriage document / marriage schedule) just isn’t the same.

Good question. I'm a fan of the new schedules but see your point. I haven't had anyone upset not to get their certificate but I guess that conversation has already happened when they gave notice

Thanks for answering OP.

What does ‘various enhancement rituals’ mean?

@AppleKatie

Thanks for answering OP.

What does ‘various enhancement rituals’ mean?

Couple can choose ceremony enhancements, like hand fasting, unity candles, sand ceremony, feeding each other something, etc.