I'm asexual and aromantic.
This thread proves why it's so hard to be asexual and aromantic. People either think you're deluded and just haven't met the right person yet, that you're damaged from some kind of trauma and need therapy, or are just giving yourself a 'label' and being attention seeking.
Unless you're aromantic and asexual, it's really hard to understand what it's like.
From my perspective, it's like I've spent my whole life on the outside of society, looking in, utterly bemused by most people's behaviour. Almost like being sober when everyone else is drunk.
I have never desired a romantic relationship. I have never understood why people want one. I have never felt any romantic feelings for anyone, or wanted to be physically close to someone in that way. I hate kissing, I hate being touched and I find the thought of sex repulsive. As such I am also asexual. I experience the physical sensation of being aroused, at certain points in my cycle, and I masturbate and orgasm through masturbation. I don't need to think about anything when I masturbate, though - there's no connection between the masturbation and sexual attraction.
Asexuality and aromanticism are orientations. I was just born this way. I've not experienced any trauma, I like and get on with men very well and have plenty of male friends, I have a close and loving family, have wonderful friends, have done well in my career and have plenty of hobbies and interests. My life feels rich and full and I am certainly capable of feeling love and affection for all the people in my life. I just have no desire to have a romantic or sexual relationship with any of them.
Sometimes I feel sad and lonely - sometimes I wish I could feel what other people feel. It does feel like everyone else has been invited to a party while I've been left at home, unable to join in. It's hard being asexual and aromantic in a world where romantic love is considered to be the ultimate goal in life. I've been single my whole life and I am judged for it, questioned on it, etc. constantly. The world is set up for couples and families and if you don't fit that mould, it's tough. You are seen as abnormal, weird, etc. People who are nasty and dismissive on this thread clearly just don't appreciate what it can feel like to be so different in the way you see and experience the world, and to feel utterly marginalised because of it.
I think in some ways it is worse for me because I am naturally very outgoing, very gregarious and am also very attractive (not bragging, just objectively true, it's made my life difficult actually, as men are always all over me wherever I go). People never believe me when I say I have always been single because there's nothing 'wrong' with me (because obviously there must be something wrong with you if you're not in a relationship), and I am constantly being pestered to go on dates and forced on single friends of friends, etc. I'm always being told 'you just haven't met the right person yet!'. People just don't seem to understand that for me there IS no right person. I just have a total lack of desire for ANYONE and no, that will never change.
OP, I understand how you feel completely. You're not alone!