I'm a born-again christian single parent - AMA

[midwifeinthemaking]

Just that really - would love to answer any questions, dispel myths etc.

If the op is in the UK this thread ran all night and even the ultra godly need sleep.

Op, if your faith and your God are solid, you have no need to indoctrinate your daughter. Please keep your religion to yourself and let her make choices as an adult. How she dresses and behaves need only match the law of your country, give her freedom.

How many chromosomes did Jesus have?

@midwifeinthemaking It seems that you like being religious because its good for your mental health i.e. feeling like someone is looking out for you which must be invaluable if you are a single mum and in a vulnerable stage of your life. But why did you choose evangelical christianity? why not choose something like unitarianism which also believes in a benevolent god and Jesus but also supports LGBT rights, female clergy and in general has views that are aligned to 21st century uk society. Unitarians are also ok with divorce and single parenthood

That way, you would get a lot less flak and probably have far less doubts. You wouldn't need to worry about messing up your child's mind with talks of heaven, hell and sin. You could say- yes god may not exist but the religion i adhere to is accepting and inclusive. I am not living my life any differently to how a moral atheist would live his or her life. So how can my religion pose any harm?

Thats the middle road I have found- I have picked a progressive stream of the religion and thankfully due to the Enlightenment, it is easier to find such denominations in Judeo-Christianity.

not denied by most historians that jesus existed, and its for people to decide whether or not he is the son of god. On the basis of the evidence i have read (the bible), i am satisfied he is.

Regarding the New Testament as 'evidence' of anything other than the existence of a group of believers in the decades after the death of an itinerant preacher really doesn't make any sense. It would be like taking the existence of Scientologists as proof of the 'truth' of Scientology.

@murbblurb

If the op is in the UK this thread ran all night and even the ultra godly need sleep.

Op, if your faith and your God are solid, you have no need to indoctrinate your daughter. Please keep your religion to yourself and let her make choices as an adult. How she dresses and behaves need only match the law of your country, give her freedom.

From my point of view, it is ensuring she knows truth, however also that she grows with an ability to critically think, as at the end of the day, she needs to make the choice to follow Jesus herself - that is the opposite of indoctrination. As her parent, I ensure that I do the best I can for her, and this is what I feel is best for her. You do not agree, and that's ok!

I think maybe i should have said chosen to follow jesus, sorry my fault for not clarifying! ITss not denied by most historians that jesus existed, and its for people to decide whether or not he is the son of god. On the basis of the evidence i have read (the bible), i am satisfied he is.

Sorry, I genuinely don't understand. Are you saying that someone could "choose to follow Jesus" without actually believing? What would that look like? I still don't see how it is a choice? Unless the choice is for a non-believer to ignore what they actually think and just go through the motions as if they believe? To try and bury their actual view of the truth under layers of affirmation about faith? For a non-believer, the "evidence" provided by the bible is not at all convincing because it's totally circular - how can the bible be evidence of its own truth?

I am actually quite envious of those who have a faith, and of the comfort and community which they derive from that, (though I rather pity those who buy into the misogynistic, homophobic versions of faith), but I do not accept that there is free will in such matters - you cannot make a choice to believe in something that you consider to be nonsense. You either believe it or you don't.

So if your God is real (and I do not believe that he is), I would ask you to consider the possibility that faith is a gift, not a choice. And if that is the case, I would ask you why a loving God would not give that gift - which is apparently necessary for our eternal salvation - to all of his children? Why only the favoured few?

@midwifeinthemaking Does the 'truth' involve things like - Jesus/the Church thought gay marriage, divorce, interfaith marriage and abortion is wrong. Cos that is fundamentally a rejection of wider society as society is a lot more progressive now. Isn't that raising a child who would ultimately reject society?

That is very harmful as seen in countries like Israel and the USA where there is a ultra- religious bloc and they end up trying to impose their beliefs on everyone else.

I cannot reconcile in my head that someone who is a kind, giving person who does lots of good and helps others but doesn’t believe in God or reads the bible wouldn’t have an afterlife (if there is one) but someone who reads the bible every day, prays and worships God but who is not a very nice person and difficult and judgemental will go to heaven.

@Turquoisesea, yep, that was one of the major sticking points for me too.

As for the idea that you might as well believe in Christianity just in case it turns out to be true...that's one weird kind of insurance policy. What if it turns out that Islam is true instead, and you've bet on the wrong horse?!

@AlexaShutUp

I think maybe i should have said chosen to follow jesus, sorry my fault for not clarifying! ITss not denied by most historians that jesus existed, and its for people to decide whether or not he is the son of god. On the basis of the evidence i have read (the bible), i am satisfied he is.

Sorry, I genuinely don't understand. Are you saying that someone could "choose to follow Jesus" without actually believing? What would that look like? I still don't see how it is a choice? Unless the choice is for a non-believer to ignore what they actually think and just go through the motions as if they believe? To try and bury their actual view of the truth under layers of affirmation about faith? For a non-believer, the "evidence" provided by the bible is not at all convincing because it's totally circular - how can the bible be evidence of its own truth?

I am actually quite envious of those who have a faith, and of the comfort and community which they derive from that, (though I rather pity those who buy into the misogynistic, homophobic versions of faith), but I do not accept that there is free will in such matters - you cannot make a choice to believe in something that you consider to be nonsense. You either believe it or you don't.

So if your God is real (and I do not believe that he is), I would ask you to consider the possibility that faith is a gift, not a choice. And if that is the case, I would ask you why a loving God would not give that gift - which is apparently necessary for our eternal salvation - to all of his children? Why only the favoured few?

Great question. I'll read more about it. To me, if you are given the opportunity to hear about Jesus (through the bible, church, whatever means), and you choose to turn away, that is a choice. But you can also choose to follow the bible, and thus follow jesus, choosing to ask god to be saved. It took me a while of studying to be overwhelmingly convinced of God.

To me, if you are given the opportunity to hear about Jesus (through the bible, church, whatever means), and you choose to turn away, that is a choice. But you can also choose to follow the bible, and thus follow jesus, choosing to ask god to be saved. It took me a while of studying to be overwhelmingly convinced of God.

Whereas for me, the more I studied, the more overwhelming convinced I was that God was not real.

You can frame it as a choice if you like, but I have integrity and I chose not to live a lie.

Great question. I'll read more about it

OP, you keep saying you'll 'read more' about things, and making references to 'studying'. What do you mean by 'reading'? What are you reading?

@Neap

Great question. I'll read more about it

OP, you keep saying you'll 'read more' about things, and making references to 'studying'. What do you mean by 'reading'? What are you reading?

Well the Bible first and foremost! But also wider sources, books from theological and non-theological contexts. I really enjoy reading about different perspectives of the same topic

@Neap, I think it's just a way of dealing with questions that fall into the too hard basket...it isn't that there is a flaw in the system, but merely an inadequacy in the OP's knowledge and understanding of the system. I guess it's a convenient way of protecting the faith from too much scrutiny.

I find all of your responses of ‘I’m not an expert’ to be really embarrassing. A lot of people have had the chance to fully examine and understand it and reject it on that basis. I was involved with that sort of church for a lot longer than you and you seem to still have that newly ‘saved’ fervour about you but no actual knowledge of what you’ve signed up for. My family are all religious and I am not. I think it is shocking to subscribe to a whole set of beliefs without fully understanding and knowing what it is you are signing up to and having to find out after you’ve already decided it’s all true! It’s the wrong way round. It’s such a strange thing to say ‘I am a Christian and I literally believe the bible’ but then not be able to defend your beliefs when questioned because you don’t even know what they are! It’s completely illogical and something I struggle with with my own relatives. They accuse me of shouting them down during any sort of debate. Shouting down usually means literally shouting over somebody and dominating them so that they can’t speak, which is ironically what they attempt to do. They flounder because I can back up my arguments with logic and evidence. They seem to believe is underhanded because they can’t defend their own religion or even fully grasp what it states their beliefs should be on any given topic, so I’m just a big old meanie.

@Harefield, blind faith in action.

What's the point of starting an ask me anything thread if you can't answer most of the questions?

Basically OP has found god in the same way other people find booze. It's an emotional crutch that allows her to abdicate responsibility for her life and choices and provides her a framework for the hard thinking she doesn't want to do on her own.
Shitty day/week/life: doesn't matter, God's will, not my fault.
Other people's choices: Sinners, the Bible says so.

It's easy to live that way. Blindly letting an external organisation run your life for you.

Poor child.

@Harefield

I find all of your responses of ‘I’m not an expert’ to be really embarrassing. A lot of people have had the chance to fully examine and understand it and reject it on that basis. I was involved with that sort of church for a lot longer than you and you seem to still have that newly ‘saved’ fervour about you but no actual knowledge of what you’ve signed up for. My family are all religious and I am not. I think it is shocking to subscribe to a whole set of beliefs without fully understanding and knowing what it is you are signing up to and having to find out after you’ve already decided it’s all true! It’s the wrong way round. It’s such a strange thing to say ‘I am a Christian and I literally believe the bible’ but then not be able to defend your beliefs when questioned because you don’t even know what they are! It’s completely illogical and something I struggle with with my own relatives. They accuse me of shouting them down during any sort of debate. Shouting down usually means literally shouting over somebody and dominating them so that they can’t speak, which is ironically what they attempt to do. They flounder because I can back up my arguments with logic and evidence. They seem to believe is underhanded because they can’t defend their own religion or even fully grasp what it states their beliefs should be on any given topic, so I’m just a big old meanie.

Great point! I'm sorry you feel embarassed for me. I am learning constantly and am relatively new to faith. But like anything in life, I had to choose the path which to me, makes more sense, has the most evidence to me. I certainly don't understand the wordly life in full either! Just like I didn't know what I was signing up to when becoming a mother - I made the choice to jump into it with an open mind, open to constantly learning and always striving to do better. I'm really sorry you have struggles communicating with your family, it does sound really trick to navigate.

In fairness to the OP, @Luckychant, I suspect that the OP is only just beginning to realise how much she doesn't know or understand.

I think it's quite a common phenomenon amongst new converts to believe that they have found all of the answers, and maybe the OP thought that she would be able to share some of those answers. Those with a more mature, developed perspective on their faith probably realise that there are loads of unanswerable questions and wouldn't ever start a thread like this in the first place!

But like anything in life, I had to choose the path which to me, makes more sense, has the most evidence to me

But there isn't any evidence and it doesn't make sense.

@FullofCurryandparatha

Basically OP has found god in the same way other people find booze. It's an emotional crutch that allows her to abdicate responsibility for her life and choices and provides her a framework for the hard thinking she doesn't want to do on her own. Shitty day/week/life: doesn't matter, God's will, not my fault. Other people's choices: Sinners, the Bible says so.

It's easy to live that way. Blindly letting an external organisation run your life for you.

Gosh I wouldn't say it's easy to live as close to how jesus did! It's a daily struggle, and choosing to leave my old lifestyle behind was really hard! But yes it provides a great framework for life, I agree, and enables me to constantly evaluate if my life choices are done with love at the centre.

You sound like a stoner.

@AlexaShutUp

In fairness to the OP, *@Luckychant*, I suspect that the OP is only just beginning to realise how much she doesn't know or understand.

I think it's quite a common phenomenon amongst new converts to believe that they have found all of the answers, and maybe the OP thought that she would be able to share some of those answers. Those with a more mature, developed perspective on their faith probably realise that there are loads of unanswerable questions and wouldn't ever start a thread like this in the first place!

I've been wondering for a while what the big questions of those who are unconvinced of christianity are, and this is a great resource!

[quote AlexaShutUp]@Neap, I think it's just a way of dealing with questions that fall into the too hard basket...it isn't that there is a flaw in the system, but merely an inadequacy in the OP's knowledge and understanding of the system. I guess it's a convenient way of protecting the faith from too much scrutiny.[/quote]
Yes, that's pretty much what I was assuming.

OP, it seems to me completely mad to to think that reading the Bible is anything other than a completely circular activity it's evidence of nothing other than other people's (not always consistent) belief in the distant past, and if you include the Apocrypha (especially the non-canonical gospels that were included in early Bibles from the two or three centuries CE and almost made in into what is now considered the canon), some interesting internecine warfare about what constitutes the 'Bible' in the early centuries of Christianity. (And of course much later on Coptic Christians, Eastern Orthodox etc all include different texts in their New Testament.)

The Bible is fascinating, but it's more interesting as an exercise in spinm the creation of orthodoxy by exclusion and inclusion etc. It doesn't 'prove' the existence of a deity.