I'm a born-again christian single parent - AMA

[midwifeinthemaking]

Just that really - would love to answer any questions, dispel myths etc.

Does it ever make you doubtful?

I suspect that the OP is not quite secure enough in her faith to be able to own up to any doubts or misgivings. She seems to subscribe to a very simplistic version of Christianity. In one way, I guess I can understand the attraction of that, but it doesn't stand up to much scrutiny.

I have much more respect for people like @boymum9, who are at least honest enough with themselves to admit that some things don't make sense. Choosing to accept a certain level of cognitive dissonance because you derive peace and comfort from being part of a religion is fair enough. Doing mental gymnastics to convince yourself that it all makes sense when it clearly doesn't just suggests that you are in denial.

We are ALL sinners and unworthy of God. Every single one of us, without exception

My question is: Who do you think you are, arrogantly assuming you can speak for all of us? I am not a sinner, and your God is a made up nonsense used to control the naive and the undereducated. How dare you encompass the rest of us in your delusions?

@midwifeinthemaking Tbh your version of hell sounds good! Given most people in the western world no longer believe in god, I would be with everyone else and nothing wrong with that imho.

I am Jewish btw (and a liberal one so I don't believe in the concept of heaven and hell). This is something that has always made me curious about born again christians- how do you know what the bible actually says if you don't read aramaic, hebrew or ancient greek? Muslims and Jews study for years in order to at least partially understand our texts- I am a convert but even I can read hebrew and am a step closer to understanding the word of god, and can therefore critique it. But I don't claim to be an authority and rely on my rabbi and other scholars who are fluent in ancient hebrew and aramaic. Most christian pastors don't seem to be able to read hebrew so how can you be sure they know the text? The English version of the bible is badly translated and reading it to understand god can be like playing a game of chinese whispers. Also given that Jesus was a Jew, there is an lack of consideration of cultural factors by most christians when reading the bible which leads them to jump to weird conclusions.

For example, as an ex christian, finding out about mamzer was a revelation. Mamzer is a person who is born as the result of certain forbidden relationships or incest, or the descendant of such a person. For example out of wedlock/through adultery. Based on this definition, Jesus was a mamzer as Mary was pregnant with him before marrying joseph. Jews are forbidden to marry mamzer (sadly the orthodox jewish community today still follows this, the Reform and Conservative Jewish community have completely dispensed with this law). But it would have been followed in BC Nazareth. So the fact that he never married wasn't a sign that he was a son of god with a mission, it was because he simply couldn't.

Also the thing about Jesus' baptism. Dipping in the mikveh is something practiced by all Jews (less so by men than by women), but more religious jews do it.

There are more examples but interpretation of the bible without appreciation of the cultural nuances of that timeis very misleading and I used to be stunned at the shallow analysis of biblical texts by born again christian pastors.

Wow, some really great thought-provoking questions here. Apologies for not giving my perspective to all the questions! As a quick summary of my faith: I love everyone, I don't love all their choices. My faith makes everything in the world make sense, and gives me answers to those difficult questions. I slip up all the time, as do we all, and I feel eternally grateful that God will forgive me if I truly ask for it. God is all-loving, but unfortunately as soon as we chose to break away from him, free will has caused such discourse in the world. Someone I met who had become a christian recently said to me, you don't have anything to lose believing in a god who turns out not to be real, but you have everything to lose if you choose not to believe and god is real. I can see where she was coming from. Love to you all, and I hope that you will find God in your personal journeys :)

Of course you have a lot to lose by following a false god and living your life accordingly.
Your faith also doesn't give you the answers to those big questions as you've said, or you would have answered some of the questions about them with a proper answer and not about gods pre decided plan for us which may or may not be fluid as a quick cover for all of the shit.

There is much to lose. I hope you don't hurt anyone along your journey with it.

I would like to know what concrete proof there is that God exists. I couldn't follow anything without solid evidence b

It looks like the OP has abandoned the thread. I can hardly fault her given the number of goady, hostile and condescending posts.

@JorisBonson There is no evidence. Religion however is unlikely to disappear as it is more about humans and how we interact/identify with each other rather than god himself/herself.

@SquirtleSquad

Of course you have a lot to lose by following a false god and living your life accordingly. Your faith also doesn't give you the answers to those big questions as you've said, or you would have answered some of the questions about them with a proper answer and not about gods pre decided plan for us which may or may not be fluid as a quick cover for all of the shit.

But that is enough. I don't need to know the intricate why's. It gives great comfort to know that everything that happens does so for a reason, and I can put trust in God - one less thing to worry about!

@AlexaShutUp

Does it ever make you doubtful?

I suspect that the OP is not quite secure enough in her faith to be able to own up to any doubts or misgivings. She seems to subscribe to a very simplistic version of Christianity. In one way, I guess I can understand the attraction of that, but it doesn't stand up to much scrutiny.

I have much more respect for people like @boymum9, who are at least honest enough with themselves to admit that some things don't make sense. Choosing to accept a certain level of cognitive dissonance because you derive peace and comfort from being part of a religion is fair enough. Doing mental gymnastics to convince yourself that it all makes sense when it clearly doesn't just suggests that you are in denial.

I agree. I have far more respect for those of any faith who acknowledge the elements of cognitive dissonance and handwaving, and who are honest about the fact that, for them, the benefits outweigh these.

Someone I met who had become a christian recently said to me, you don't have anything to lose believing in a god who turns out not to be real, but you have everything to lose if you choose not to believe and god is real.

OP, this was famously said by Pascal, the 17thc French philosopher/mathematician, but it's often misunderstood as an attempt to convince atheists to embrace belief, whereas in fact he was demonstrating that you can't use logical arguments to prove or disprove the existence of a god.

Voltaire also points out that Pascal was himself a Jansenist, who believed that only a tiny proportion, even of believers, were destined to for salvation, and that this was predestined before they were born. So you could believe to the utmost of your being, love God, do good works, and live a life of justice and charity, and still, after your death, discover that you were not 'saved' by a God who turns out to exist, but not to be interested in some of his creation.

Other commentators have pointed out that in order to win Pascal's 'bet', you would need confirmation that God intends to honour his side of the bargain. Otherwise you're in the same position as someone who says 'Bet you £200 that the Spurs* will win 2-0', but when Spurs do win 2-0 his friend points out that he never accepted the bet and hence has no obligation to pay up.

*Not suggesting God is a Spurs supporter. Insert your own team of preference.

@AlexaShutUp

Does it ever make you doubtful?

I suspect that the OP is not quite secure enough in her faith to be able to own up to any doubts or misgivings. She seems to subscribe to a very simplistic version of Christianity. In one way, I guess I can understand the attraction of that, but it doesn't stand up to much scrutiny.

I have much more respect for people like @boymum9, who are at least honest enough with themselves to admit that some things don't make sense. Choosing to accept a certain level of cognitive dissonance because you derive peace and comfort from being part of a religion is fair enough. Doing mental gymnastics to convince yourself that it all makes sense when it clearly doesn't just suggests that you are in denial.

Yes I have doubts every day - that doubt really helps me to build my faith stronger!

My faith makes everything in the world make sense, and gives me answers to those difficult questions.

See, when I read stuff like this, it just doesn't ring true to me. I'm sorry if this sounds disrespectful, but it makes me feel that you're just desperately trying to convince yourself. Does it really make sense of stuff and give you answers? Honestly? If so, why not share those answers on here?

Surely, a more honest approach would be to say that your faith doesn't actually make sense of anything, that it doesn't actually give you answers to any of the difficult questions, but nevertheless it gives you some comfort to believe that there is some sort of benevolent plan behind the seemingly random nature of human suffering, even though you can't actually see any evidence of it?

It's not enough if you are actually wanting answers. Petulant teenagers answer questions they don't have answers to by saying "just because" not reasonable adults.

@SquirtleSquad

It's not enough if you are actually wanting answers. Petulant teenagers answer questions they don't have answers to by saying "just because" not reasonable adults.

Yes it's a tricky one isn't it. I've accepted that there are many things I won't get a worldly answer for (however many things to revert back to being because we are sinners). We are called to have a child-like faith. I'm sorry you're not finding answers, I can only suggest reading the Bible to see what it says.

Yes I have doubts every day - that doubt really helps me to build my faith stronger!'

Imagine you came on the Relationships board here and said you had doubts every day about your relationship. What advice do you think you would get?

Please tell us more about the doubts that you have, OP. How do you explore them when they arise and how do they make your faith stronger?

Also, you made reference above to "choosing" to believe. I am really curious as to the nature of this choice. For me, I either believe something based on the evidence that is available to me, or I don't. There is no choice involved as far as I can see.

So, when I look at the "evidence" for Christianity, it seems self-evident to me that it is a human invention, just like all of the other human religions. The "evidence" just doesn't stack up as far as I can see. I did try for a few years to make myself believe, and I pretended to myself for a while that I did, but deep down, I always knew that it was a fantasy. A bit like an older child clinging on to a belief in Santa because they really want it to be true, but deep down, they know that it's just their mum and dad. So, given that perspective, how would someone like me choose to believe when I just don't? What would "choosing not to reject God" look like, if not just lying to myself in order to try to silence my natural scepticism?

No it is not tricky at all. There is no reason for god to be such a mega twat because he/she/it just doesn't exist. It's complete nonsense.

I have read the bible, in depth. It's a sexist, hypocritical, repressive fictional book. You might as well read Winnie the Pooh.

@Myneighboursdomyheadin 🤣🤣🤣 I just spat out my tea 🤣🤣

What would you do if your child is gay?

@AlexaShutUp my theory is that we're already in hell

@AlexaShutUp

Please tell us more about the doubts that you have, OP. How do you explore them when they arise and how do they make your faith stronger?

Also, you made reference above to "choosing" to believe. I am really curious as to the nature of this choice. For me, I either believe something based on the evidence that is available to me, or I don't. There is no choice involved as far as I can see.

So, when I look at the "evidence" for Christianity, it seems self-evident to me that it is a human invention, just like all of the other human religions. The "evidence" just doesn't stack up as far as I can see. I did try for a few years to make myself believe, and I pretended to myself for a while that I did, but deep down, I always knew that it was a fantasy. A bit like an older child clinging on to a belief in Santa because they really want it to be true, but deep down, they know that it's just their mum and dad. So, given that perspective, how would someone like me choose to believe when I just don't? What would "choosing not to reject God" look like, if not just lying to myself in order to try to silence my natural scepticism?

It depends on the day really! My big doubt was that I am not 'christian' enough to be saved, but as I read more into the bible, i understood more. I don't so much have doubts about the existence of God however. And as a faith, it is important to have such. I think maybe i should have said chosen to follow jesus, sorry my fault for not clarifying! ITss not denied by most historians that jesus existed, and its for people to decide whether or not he is the son of god. On the basis of the evidence i have read (the bible), i am satisfied he is.

You might as well read Winnie the Pooh.

There is actually a great deal of wisdom in Winnie the Pooh, @SquirtleSquad.

There are some nice bits in the bible too, especially the new testament, but frankly, there are also some real wtf bits. I have never really understood why so many Christians seem to believe that reading the bible will convince people of their truth. I accept that it clearly provides comfort and guidance to those who already believe.

I am quite conflicted in this as I work for a church, but I do have my doubts about Christianity and all major religions. I too have done an Alpha course and instead of it making more sense it made less. I cannot reconcile in my head that someone who is a kind, giving person who does lots of good and helps others but doesn’t believe in God or reads the bible wouldn’t have an afterlife (if there is one) but someone who reads the bible every day, prays and worships God but who is not a very nice person and difficult and judgemental will go to heaven. There are lots of lovely people in the church where I work but there are lots of not so lovely people too. I also believe that all religions fundamentally believe in the same thing re: an afterlife but it is just mans interpretation that has created different religions. I do believe when you die your soul goes on someone else, but I can’t accept it’s only for people who worship God and read the Bible.

Somewhere else not someone!