I am getting a prenuptial before I get married. AMA

[sheerjewl]

I'm in the process of getting a prenuptial drafted for my other half to sign before we get married - AMA

[Figgyboa]

Very sensible OP. I live in a country where they are legally binding. I have one in place as I received a large inheritance prior to meeting my OH.

[sheerjewl]

@Figgyboa

Very sensible OP. I live in a country where they are legally binding. I have one in place as I received a large inheritance prior to meeting my OH.

Thank you. It makes sense to me for them to be legal as you disclose everything, you are completely upfront about it and have more disclosure than some marriages so when signing you know what you're getting yourself into as such. Maybe in the future

[sheerjewl]

@BarryWhiteIsMyBrother

ANd then there is that other thread where the bride to be's DF has asked her not to get married because of the family money and she doesn't get why he would ask that.

Interesting

[MaddieElla]

This thread is great. OP you sound very savvy but fair.

How much is the total estate worth? When you inherit the lot I mean.

[Poppyseeds2]

Thanks it did clarify and when you break it down like that yes it’s a lot of money to be going to other child/family possibly.

[sheerjewl]

@MaddieElla

This thread is great. OP you sound very savvy but fair.

How much is the total estate worth? When you inherit the lot I mean.

Thank you @MaddieElla
With what I have now which I class as my parents and with what I will inherit and the value today (obviously this will increase as time goes on due to interest over the years and increase in values and hopefully my parents will live for ages yet so I won't be inheriting the full whack anytime soon!) it will be circa 8 million

[sheerjewl]

[quote MsSquiz]@EuroTrashed I'm not sure how it would.

There were many back and forths to get the pre nup to where it is, I was of sound mind and under no duress to sign it, and signed it of my own free will. The waiver was because my solicitor believed I could have "gone for more" and I didn't think it was necessary.

I'm not sure about the OP, but our pre nup can be reviewed every 5 years and/or on the birth of any children. So far, we got married in 2017 and I had DD in December 2019 and we have needed to amend it because we are both happy with it how it stands. [/quote]
@MsSquiz I will ask about it being reviewed and at what points. We have our children and won't be having any more so it won't be needing a review for that purpose

[MaddieElla]

8 million! How fab! Your parents have obviously built up a fantastic business and I don't blame you one bit for protecting it.

I've never been jealous and happy for someone at the same time.

[sheerjewl]

@MaddieElla

8 million! How fab! Your parents have obviously built up a fantastic business and I don't blame you one bit for protecting it.

I've never been jealous and happy for someone at the same time.

@MaddieElla oh they did. I am so proud of them. They closed it down a long time ago now but they made all that money from our study at our home. Unreal. Until the last 5 or so years when they moved to an office. I can never thank them enough for the life they've given me and the life my children will have and even more my grandchildren if I have any. They will help so many generations. And that's why it's important to protect it as much as possible.

[MsSquiz]

@sheerjewl it could be worth having a periodic review of it, just in case circumstances change.
I presume ours is like that because we didn't have kids at the time, but as you say, your family is complete, so maybe it's not necessary

[raspberrysundaes]

Would you be happy to sign a pre-nup if the roles were reversed?

[Parkmama]

What was your parents business?

[Poppyseeds2]

This is slightly off topic sorry OP. I have a only child. You obviously have had a lovely life. Money aside do you wish you had at least one sibling?

Did your parents come from wealth not this type of wealth but just professional decent jobs?

[sheerjewl]

@raspberrysundaes

Would you be happy to sign a pre-nup if the roles were reversed?

Yes definitely - if it was fair

[sheerjewl]

@Poppyseeds2

This is slightly off topic sorry OP. I have a only child. You obviously have had a lovely life. Money aside do you wish you had at least one sibling?

Did your parents come from wealth not this type of wealth but just professional decent jobs?

I think when I was younger at some stages yes. However I'm not a believer that just because their family you are close. As I got older, I had closer friends who are more like siblings and I have reaped the benefits of being an only child and my children will too. So looking back now, being an only child had no detrimental effect on me.

I on the other hand have two children - I did debate stopping at one. However, we will not be having any more because of what we can give two in comparison to three.

[sheerjewl]

@Poppyseeds2

This is slightly off topic sorry OP. I have a only child. You obviously have had a lovely life. Money aside do you wish you had at least one sibling?

Did your parents come from wealth not this type of wealth but just professional decent jobs?

@Poppyseeds2 Sorry - I forget what people have written!

My parents couldn't afford to heat their house and had no furniture at one point so no they didn't come from wealth. It is purely what they have built up.

[sheerjewl]

@Parkmama

What was your parents business?

I don't want to say anything that will give me away but broadly they manufactured something that went into shops you see on the high street. So they sold to some well known shops in this industry and to some small boutiques too.

[raspberrysundaes]

Yes definitely - if it was fair

What would you do if your DP decided it wasn't fair? Would you change the wording or would it potentially be a deal breaker for you?

[PegasusReturns]

I think it’s very sensible.

I’ve made money in my relationship so if DH and I divorced he’d get half. Which is what it is, but if circumstances were to change I simply would marry again (wouldn’t have inheritance issues as it’d pass to DC)

[ThinkingIsAllowed]

@sheerjewl your approach sounds really sensible. If you don't mind me asking, wouldn't it solve the problem to put the inheritance in a trust? Or would a trust still be up for grabs in a divorce?

[GothamGirl1970]

I applaud you. If you are minted or just sensible I would do it. I’m over 50 and I’d never even heard of one in 1988. We need to protect ourselves in the case they are needed. And if they never are, that’s a beautiful thing.

[sheerjewl]

@raspberrysundaes

Yes definitely - if it was fair

What would you do if your DP decided it wasn't fair? Would you change the wording or would it potentially be a deal breaker for you?

No I am open to discussion if he isn't comfortable with anything so definitely not a deal breaker

[sheerjewl]

[quote ThinkingIsAllowed]@sheerjewl your approach sounds really sensible. If you don't mind me asking, wouldn't it solve the problem to put the inheritance in a trust? Or would a trust still be up for grabs in a divorce?[/quote]
From what I can gather, trusts come with tax implications and you can't just put it all in a trust. Obviously it is invested the best way possible to make more money and a trust doesn't necessarily offer that.

Even if some was put in a trust, there would still be a substantial amount there and that won't cover what I will get in the future either. So it is still needed.

[sheerjewl]

@GothamGirl1970

I applaud you. If you are minted or just sensible I would do it. I’m over 50 and I’d never even heard of one in 1988. We need to protect ourselves in the case they are needed. And if they never are, that’s a beautiful thing.

Thank you. Completely agree. Hopefully it is never needed