I am getting a prenuptial before I get married. AMA

[sheerjewl]

I'm in the process of getting a prenuptial drafted for my other half to sign before we get married - AMA

@Fauchelevant

How much does it cost approx to do all the legal stuff? Do your friends or his family know and how did they react?

A couple of my really old friends know but no one else as no one actually knows the amount of money I have and will get in the future. It isn't something I talk about. Other than my other half, he now knows because of the full disclosure.

@PurplePansy05

Would you use your money to support him if he lost his job and/or got seriously ill long-term?

Yes of course. This is to protect should we get divorced and to also protect my children as much as possible

Why not just stay unmarried?

@PurplePansy05

Would you use your money to support him if he lost his job and/or got seriously ill long-term?

Also to add on this, because of my situation, we have no mortgage or debts. Therefore he has benefited from this as we can save more with most going into his ISA to use his yearly allowance which is solely in his name. He wouldn't have been able to do this otherwise.

@Soontobe60

Why not just stay unmarried?

The financial repercussions should I die are astonishing. The inheritance tax bill would be huge.

Why get married if you don’t want all of the commitments of marriage? Cherry picking seems odd to me.

@SimonJT

Why get married if you don’t want all of the commitments of marriage? Cherry picking seems odd to me.

‘Cherry Picking’? Give over

I think prenups shouldn't be necessary because the marriage law should give options. This is the case in some EU countries. You choose how the ownership and division of assets is to take place before you get married.

What this does is force a couple into discussing finances in a practical manner before the dreamy, romantic, fairy tale idea of marriage takes over everything.

It means too that divorce can be more straightforward - financially at least - because it it removes some of the uncertainty about what each party walks away with.

People can still get screwed over, but you do at least know before you get married how the other person views their and your own assets, which is arguably better to find out before you commit your life to to someone (especially if you're a woman who becomes a SAHM after having a career). And there's nothing like signing a legal document to focus minds!

OP sounds very sensible step to take but also that you're doing it in a fair way (regarding it changing with time).

Very sensible OP

@SimonJT

Why get married if you don’t want all of the commitments of marriage? Cherry picking seems odd to me.

The commitment of marriage is there but we don't live in a fairytale world and circumstances and anyone can change therefore I am protecting my assets because in the long run it will potentially protect my children

Marriage protects my children and future husband from enormous financial repercussions should we not. Marriage is really a necessity if you have a large estate.

I don’t have any questions cause I think it’s self explanatory. Very sensible OP.

You say it cost you 5,000 approximately to draw up the contract/legal stuff. Yet it's not legally binding?

I think it's sensible to protect your assets- same as a will I suppose.

@yetmorenamechanging

I think prenups shouldn't be necessary because the marriage law should give options. This is the case in some EU countries. You choose how the ownership and division of assets is to take place before you get married.

What this does is force a couple into discussing finances in a practical manner before the dreamy, romantic, fairy tale idea of marriage takes over everything.

It means too that divorce can be more straightforward - financially at least - because it it removes some of the uncertainty about what each party walks away with.

People can still get screwed over, but you do at least know before you get married how the other person views their and your own assets, which is arguably better to find out before you commit your life to to someone (especially if you're a woman who becomes a SAHM after having a career). And there's nothing like signing a legal document to focus minds!

OP sounds very sensible step to take but also that you're doing it in a fair way (regarding it changing with time).

Thank you. This is so true.

We probably have more financial disclosure than a lot of married couples out there because we have done this

@MrBeagles

You say it cost you 5,000 approximately to draw up the contract/legal stuff. Yet it's not legally binding?

I think it's sensible to protect your assets- same as a will I suppose.

Yes. Crazy isn't it. Hopefully it may change in the future as apparently the stance on them is changing.

You are more protected than not having one in any case

@LetMeOut2021

I don’t have any questions cause I think it’s self explanatory. Very sensible OP.

Thank you

@LetMeOut2021

I don’t have any questions cause I think it’s self explanatory. Very sensible OP.

Same here. Nothing to ask.

Lol at 'cherry picking' though.

@CookieDoughKid

Very sensible OP

Thank you

Hi op- my question if I may-

Did he know you were wealthy when you met?

I also think you’re being sensible.

I’m just wondering if you fiancé needs to have his own barrister/solicitor and if there were lots of discussions about the terms of the agreement?

Or does that only happen in The Split?

When you say 'my children' am I right in thinking this refers to children from a previous relationship?

@StealthRoast

Hi op- my question if I may-

Did he know you were wealthy when you met?

I also think you’re being sensible.

He knew I had money when we met but he didn't know or realise how much until I fully disclosed. We live in the house I owned before meeting him which kind of shows there's a bit of money within the family but no one ever knows someone's wealth just from that as it could be mortgaged and just because someone lives in a large house doesn't mean they have a lot of money

How did you come into your money? Has it always been in your family? Can you tell us about the estate? What sort of property is it? Will you go to live there eventually? Very sensible to protect these assets!

@sheerjewl
Your future DH.....what sort of background does he have? On the breadline or average / comfortable?

And how was he when he found out how much you had and would inherit, knowing money would never be a worry again?

@LolaSmiles

When you say 'my children' am I right in thinking this refers to children from a previous relationship?

We have Two children together. I say my children in the sense of not his children should we divorce and he have further children with someone else. We are still relatively young so if we were to divorce in 5-10 years, this could still be a possibility. Remarriage could be a possibility for way more than that

@TheRealCherHorowitz

I’m just wondering if you fiancé needs to have his own barrister/solicitor and if there were lots of discussions about the terms of the agreement?

Or does that only happen in The Split?

Yes he has to have his own solicitor. Not a barrister as this is for me because I am preparing the draft. You only need to have a barrister if all the assets are above £2 million I believe. It is specialist advice.