I have dreadlocks. AMA

[DreadsVanLocksDarling]

Not that it matters, not that it's a big deal, not that you (should) care but if you've ever wanted to ask someone with dreadlocks a question or if you think of any now, feel free to ask me.

Anything at all, doesn't matter how it comes across. Happy to answer

@thenightsky

How do you manage to use a nitty gritty comb on them?

I don't use one. I use this brush. Technically they're nail brushes but I happened to have one when I learnt they can be brushed for fluff and I tried it on my hair. I couldn't believe they didn't snag or rip them off so I've carried on with them.

@DramaAlpaca

Fascinating thread, thank you.

Thank you

@WinWinnieTheWay

I am interested to know what you would do if you had head lice as I guess a nitty gritty is out of the question?

Yep, out of the question. If we ever get to that bridge, we'll cross it. Hopefully the lucky streak continues.

@KenDodd

Can I ask some general questions just about afro hair as well?

Sure you can. Anything

@Mrsmorton

How old is your DD? I might have missed it but have been fascinated by the politicisation of afro hair in schools.

16. She's home educated though.

@Craftycorvid

Thanks for this thread, OP! I think locs look beautiful and have been known to rubberneck to admire a lovely head of hair in the street (and randomly compliment dread-owners). Whilst I think this way of wearing your hair looks lovely regardless of hair type or race, do you feel it’s inappropriate for white people to wear dreadlocks?

Not at all

People see what they like and emulate. If it works for them, they continue. If it doesn't, they stop. That's how life has always been.

@HillaryWhitney

Always told DD that our hair strands love each other so much, they enjoy cuddling and holding hands.

Wow

@EggyPegg

That picture and explanation is fascinating, thank you.

Are they heavy? How long are yours and your DDs?

Do you have them trimmed?

Thanks

DD's is mid back length. Mine a bit shorter than that.
Not heavy.

I haven't trimmed them yet but when they get longer than I want them to, I will. I'm actually happy with my current length but will see.

@thenightsky

What do you do when your DD brings home headlice? It happened to me at least once a year and was a nightmare with DD's long hair and DS's curly wire hair. Luckily mine was short at the time as they passed them to me and I was crawling!

She never had one. Home educated as well. She's 16 now and hopefully we're out of the woods, although there's always a possibility of coming in contact with someone who's been infected.

Fingers crossed. If it happens, it must be treated even if it means shaving our hair off and starting over 😭

@beautifulnorth

That looks gorgeous and it's fascinating looking at the hair types. I love your analogies too about locking into each other and gardening terms.

Thank you

@shrill

Having struggled to accept my hair as it is and not as the trends or hairstyle magazines promote, you probably wouldn't believe how much I wish I had found my own way with my hair years ago.

Very enlightening, thank you.

It's never too late.

You're welcome.

@Shaniac

Good thread. I used to have locs as a teenager. Im white but have very curly hair that naturally formed into ringletts then locs. Used to wash and dry them properly then cut them all off. My question is do you ever dye your hair?

I've dyed my hair a few times (pre- locks) but haven't for years. Don't think I will do so as it also affects the health of my hair.

@LazyLucille

My exes locs used to smell really damp and musty and they took ages to dry when he washed them. Do you ever use a hair dryer on yours?

Yes sometimes. If it's just been washed and I have to go out.

I can imagine some with much thicker or denser and fuller hair would need a longer time to dry.

Some may pack their hair up without letting it dry completely first. It would need to be aired out.

Also some people may use products that have hard-to-wash-off buildup/leftover even after washing. Some of these products have ingredients that cause mold inside the locks (where you may not see them) so they may easily smell musty when sweaty, damp or wet. It's like a moldy/damp carpet or room - you can't just clean around it and expect it to smell fresh. Once it's there, it needs to go.

Her hair just looks like a magnificent forest of trees living happily together. Looking up other freeformers, I see even more tree-like resemblance

I just love this. Beautiful analogy.. Reading this thread with interest.

@chuffedasbuttons

Fab thread and thank you! I've always been jealous of my black friends who can change their hairstyle dramatically and frequently. I often joke my white girl hair is boring in comparison.

I have always been a bit fascinated though - it must take hours for their elaborate styles - you've enlightened me to the hard effort it takes. This is a big ask for young girls and plays heavily into modern desire to look just right.

In response to your AMA, I remember when my niece was born, a head of (white) soft curls from her dads side. We all have straight hair in my family and as sisters, we plaited and played hair a lot. There have been some learning curves on my sisters part on how to deal with curls!

I have a close friend with extreme curls (again, white) and she has the constant desire from other people to touch her hair!

So I haven't asked you anything but I can absolutely relate the the fact that we love to touch each other's hair!

To finish.... I holidayed in Africa a few times - Gambia, Tunisia, Morocco. I am a natural blond, long straight and glossy ish.
They all wanted to touch my hair!

And I remember at Uni, finally being friends enough with a black guy and asking him if I could please feel his fro.... he glared at me and I felt a blush but then he said too right white bitch. What does blond feel like?

It's always "war", isn't it? Kneejerk reactions based on social conditioning and groupthink.

Wanting to touch something is a natural sensory instinct for many. It's one of the ways we experience the world - see babies. However, I suppose we learn to not put everything we see/like the sight of or want to experience into our mouths but we don't learn to not touch everything we see besides harmful things. I, too, have had to learn to not touch anybody unless asked or given permission.

Some people care about this, others don't. Personally, the only times I ever cared about someone I know (including DD and DH) touching my hair or not was when out, after I had styled it (pre-locks). The reason each time was that touching it would mess up the style and I may have to find somewhere to redo it.

Besides that, it's never been an issue for me or anyone I know. There is no "black" reason I have for anyone I know not touching my hair. Infact, I love my hair being touched, just give me a comfy seat and touch away for no less than 30 minute!😀Wonderful feeling.

@zatarontoast

Those pics are so beautiful, I would have assumed that those were 'artificially' made, they look so incredibly neat and I can't believe hair naturally forms like that. As a gardener I absolutely adore the gardening anologies, your latest post about stray hairs holding on for dear life to other locs is giving me images of a tropical ravine, with vines clinging on to sister vines. I'm so disappointed my own hair doesn't seem to share the love!

Some are articially made to look this way. If you see a neat-looking one, it's a cheating freeformer such as myself or cheating semi-freeformer or manicured locs. Non-cheating/unmanicured locks don't look neat but that is the point of it. Trees in the forest/woodlands don't look neat but we still love them.

You're right, they do act like those vines. This is basically what they do.

@TerribleCustomerCervix

Are you when you see white people with locks?

How long has it taken to grow your hair to the length it is now?

Does 4c hair take longer to grow or do the v tight curls just make it seem like it does?

What happens if you fancied a trim? Could you just chop the ends off yourself?

No.

I've had it for 5 years now.

Exactly right, the shrunken tight curls refuse to show it's length. Many a 4c hair owners are amazed at their own hair length if they straighten or stretch it out. Some swear they never thought it had grown/was growing. So some do a 'hair length check' every now and then. Otherwise it will take a very long time to see the change in a significant way while shrunken.

Yes, did once to DD's when her ends packed all the fluff in the world. It just locks back up, the ends lock faster.

Growing up, I remember being called ball ends or something like that because my corn rows would curl/ball/roll up at the tip/ends of my hair. They never stayed straight/stretched.

@NattyDiamondDoll

Great thread! I am in my first year of semi freeform locs (started with 3c/4a mixed race hair)

Fantastic! Hope they're coming along nicely?

@IheartJKR

I’m mesmerized by this thread.

Thank you op!

Happy to. Thank you

@ladybee28

Sounds like your DD's much happier this way. No questions, just really lovely to read about the two of you sounding so relaxed and happier with your choices.

She really is. Thank you

@zatarontoast

OP do you get upset/annoyed if people in nursery day life ask about your hair? I started following a lot of black Instagrammers last year and they largely get very annoyed if anyone asks about their hair. Lots of "what do you think gives you the right to ask about my hair?" following a post about their hair. I suppose it must get very annoying, but just want to say thanks again for this thread. Next time I see someone with locs I'll be all warm and fuzzy thinking of them loving each other.

Another sigh sorry (and it's not aimed at you, incase I wasn't clear) .

No I don't and no it doesn't get very annoying. It's only been conditioned to be a trigger along with other triggers.

It's rare that people ask a question if they're not interested. If I get annoyed or upset at someone, it won't be because they asked a question. How else can someone know if they don't ask.

That's why I made this thread because I know some have become afraid to speak or ask questions due to the minefield called general society.

@zatarontoast

every day life, I assume you aren't in nursery any more

I would probably be the world's biggest wonder if I were.😃

@DominaShantotto

It's a really interesting thread - even though I have absolutely the utter antithesis of your hair - poker straight, fine, will just hang and look ratty whatever I do with it... I'd love for mine to have any bloody personality to it whatsoever!

Poor DD is so envious of her friend's wonderful mixed race hair - she just envies the things she can do with it so much!

I hear you on the length thing though - a friend's daughter has spiral curls (they've bloody gorgeous) and she gets so despondent that whatever she does she feels like her hair doesn't grow because it just boings back up!

Aww it has its own unique personality and magic. None is better or worse - just different.

Exactly on the boing-ing back up. It can be frustrating but I had to learn to give up basically and wait (im)patiently for length to show.

I had/have no issues with short hair- I love them and have worn them many times but what I used to complain to DH about (pre-locks) was "if it's short, great we know it's short but since it's long, let it blooming show itself!" 😄

@WitchesSpelleas

Really interesting thread, thank you.

You mentioned your hair doesn't shed - does that mean you have to trim your locs to keep them at a manageable length, or do they find a natural length and stay at that point?

No, it just stopped shedding on its own. I suppose the locks keep the delicate strands intact.

I haven't found their stop-length yet but I wouldn't want them to grow too long anyway.