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AMA

I home educate - my DS has never been to school - AMA

999 replies

OvertheUnicornRainbow · 21/02/2020 21:14

My DS is almost 13, always been home-educated and is thriving. Ask me anything Smile

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OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 22:30

@janemaster - we can't get it to zero. But DC are murdered every week. These DC are in school or nursery, see doctors, nurses, social workers and it still happens.

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DreamTheMoors · 23/02/2020 22:31

@OvertheUnicornRainbow
That’s great to hear - isolation was my immediate fear when I read your OP. What a great mum & teacher you are.

janemaster · 23/02/2020 22:39

OP all those professionals prevent other children being murdered. Your fatalistic approach to this is pretty offensive. Yes mistakes are made, people are not perfect. But we have far less murders by parents than many other developed countries. That is not due to luck.

OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 22:42

@dorsetdays - apology accepted. I was asked how people respond and some respond 'I can't believe you're not ready to offload your DC to school! I couldn't wait til mine were school age! I couldn't cope being around them all the time - the holidays are bad enough!' I made no judgement on that comment just answered truthfully. The kind of judgement of me you did is very common! People almost think my choice to home-ed my DC is a statement on their choice to send their DC to school - when it is of course nothing of the sort!

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TheTwilightZone · 23/02/2020 22:44

OP all those professionals prevent other children being murdered

Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't.

OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 22:45

@janemaster - that's more than one a week. Frequent to my mind.

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OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 22:47

@Dorsetdays - it's not compulsory is it? The dad could have gone to some of those things and the mother not atall.

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OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 22:50

@ColdTattyWaitingForSummer - thank you for your experience and well done to your son!

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OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 22:51

@DreamTheMoors - thank you!

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simiisme · 23/02/2020 22:51

Rudeness? You're a teacher - I assume you can read? OK then...

janemaster · 23/02/2020 22:54

When children are murdered by parents, often it is more than 1 child. So over the last 10 years there have been 297 cases. So about 30 a year. Too many, but way lower than many countries.

OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 22:55

@janemaster - I'm sorry if I offended you. Child murder is something people don't really like to think about too deeply, understandably. Would it be as offensive if I said I don't think we can get murders in general down to zero? Or if I said the man who stabbed someone is to blame not the police for not preventing it?

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OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 22:57

@janemaster - my point is they have kids talks about explosives all over the place. I'm not sure why it was so suprising?

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OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 23:00

@simiisme - maybe a life lesson for you. You are rude to someone - they're not necessarily going to be polite back. They might even politely point out you must be capable of reading so are capable of reading all the questions I have answered!

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OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 23:04

@janemaster - if your point is the authorities do their best - that is exactly what I've said. But I think some (like the families of murdered children) might find it more offensive that you are trying to down play the number of children killed because more are murdered abroad!

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marfisa · 23/02/2020 23:15

Another adult here who was home-schooled (in my case all the way to university). Academically, it was pretty much OK. Psychologically and socially, it was dreadful.

I'm not against the idea of homeschooling per se (though I would never consider it for my DC, given my own experience). However I'm 100% in favour of more monitoring of home schooled children by councils. There have been too many cases where home schooled children have been the victims of parental abuse. If monitoring by external authorities can save even one child from harm or death, it's worth it.

Children have shockingly few rights in circumstances like this.

janemaster · 23/02/2020 23:29

Did you miss that a child in my extended family was murdered?

simiisme · 23/02/2020 23:44

Yes, it sounded very polite.

Flusteredcustard · 23/02/2020 23:45

Hours may be flexible with HE but look at how many hours are spent doing stuff that is nothing to do with education, doing the registers, lunch and other breaks, lessons held up by unruly children, being excluded, school hols, inset days, not counting free periods. He continues through the year. As for people saying about children being isolated, I hear on the news that it's not uncommon to actually isolate pupils who have done something deemed unacceptable. There is all the fuss about having the right colour socks or shoes and other stuff irrelevant to education, you don't have that with HE.

OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 23:48

@marfisa - thanks for your comment. Can you say why it was bad socially and psychologically?

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OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 23:49

@simiisme - ok for you to be rude, though?

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OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 23:50

@janemaster - yes, I did I'm very sorry to hear that.

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OvertheUnicornRainbow · 23/02/2020 23:54

@Flusteredcustard - I am actually dreading that if my DD goes to secondary school. Her current school are very inclusive with uniform and not overly fussy. I can't stand the controlling nature of some schools around uniform now. Just such a waste of time, as you say - when DC could be learning!

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Yorkshiretolondon · 23/02/2020 23:56

How do you know he’s thriving? Compared to what? Does he have friends?

wintersweet1977 · 24/02/2020 00:08

Wow! What a load of misunderstandings, some deliberate!

I home ed one of my children, school wasn't right for him, he struggled academically, socially and mentally. Since leaving school he is more confident, has made friends and enjoys his life, no more suicide attempts! He has moderate autism among other conditions. It's the best thing I've ever done for him.

He learns: maths, english lit/lang, science, spanish, art, history, geography, CDT, engineering, life skills, ethics, politics and social skills. He has PE classes outside the home and a number of other classes. He's would be in year 6 practising for SATS at this point and learning little other than how to pass his SATS, as my eldest did when he was in year six.

Our local authority has a very supportive Home Education Officer, who has visited and assessed his education. Every home ed family I've met in our area sings his praises and are all ready to engage with him.

The LA to the South of us has very Anti Home Ed officers and this leads to most people refusing to engage with them.

To answer other people, I am a single parent and have given up work to home ed and therefore we're on benefits for the first time since I left school, it's not just for the wealthy and many local home-edders live very simply lives where costs are pared down to fund their children's education.

As for who safeguards the children? The answer to this sadly is no-one, for the majority no-one needs to but for the minority of children it would benefit them. I'm all for the protection of children, they deserve a good education without their parents/inadequate schools getting in the way. The same way, I believe, parents shouldn't be allowed to withdraw their children from sex ed classes or refuse vaccinations for them, children have rights.

As for trips, he has many and varied occupations and trips, much more than at school. Before he was withdrawn from school he typically got one trip per term and maybe one outside group coming into school. Now we have a trip whenever it supports his learning, this could be two a week or two a month depending.

He has to learn things he has no interest in and do things he doesn't want to do, after all as an adult we have to do these things all the time.

He has a small group of friends that he meets up with once or twice a month that he's had for 8+ years, he's also made some new friends through the classes/activities he attends who he sees several times a week. He also meets people everyweek who are new to him, so all in all what it would be like in many workplaces.

His learning takes place at the correct pace, pushing when he is capable of being pushed and revisiting subjects regularly. to ensure he's retaining the knowledge/skill. We have a 50/50 split of what he needs to learn and what he wants to learn, with little overlap!

As for those commenting on "experts" at schools, my eldest is the same age as OP's son. He goes to a mainstream school where many of his classes are taught by a teacher from a different subject presenting a power point, with no specialist knowledge or interest in the subject. The children are offered a multitude of trips but most are financially out of reach to most families.

My younger children go to a local primary school, it's incredibly small and all activities: play time, assembly, dinner time, after school discos etc are split into either single class or two class events as they cannot physically fit in more children. My home-edded son mixes with a wider variety of children than my younger schooled children.

Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to answer all points/questions made by others.

I don't think that all home ed programmes are perfect, I don't think all schools are either.

P.S. I've never met a home ed family that wave their religion around, this doesn't seem to be an aspect of home ed in our area.

If I've made any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, I don't really care, people make mistakes all the time the written word is not the be all and end all, the way you treat other people is!