I home educate - my DS has never been to school - AMA

[OvertheUnicornRainbow]

My DS is almost 13, always been home-educated and is thriving. Ask me anything

@formerbabe - yes! But I've always had my own time. It was more intense when he was younger but now he does his own thing most days (classes, groups, sees friends).
@Clymene - I was aware from a young age he was different to other children and that a busy classroom would not suit him. His HV also thought school would be hard for him - due to his high inteligence and high emotional needs. Turns out he is autistic but this has only been diagnosed more recently.

Surfer25

I’m sad to hear that but you’re account doesn’t reflect all home schooled kids.

Most parents of home schooled kids try to compensate for their social life elsewhere.

Your mum sounds controlling and homeschooling appealed to her. But it’s not the fault of homeschooling !

OvertheUnicornRainbow

Oh hats off to you for following ur mummy instincts and realizing that you know ur child best and can support them in the best way even when there are people like some pp who would be judgemental

@OutingPost you have proved my point.

Surfer sorry to hear that, and apologies for pushing the AMA. Thanks for replying .

I do think schools are so badly funded at the moment that for many sen needs they are failing.

On the other hand some mone ed circles amke out schools to be so awfil that when they say theyve given the child the chance to choose school for secondary they would rather jump into a lake of snakes and cant make a genuine choice. Im so glad I got the chance to learn from subject specialists all day during the week at secondary but I was at a v good academic secondary. Im v academic but reading at home wouldnt replicate that.

@Sillyscrabblegames - I didn't necessarily start off planning for excellent academic qualifications as it would depend if he was academic or not. As it turns out he is. We are starting to look at qualifications now. Probably next year (Y9) he will take one GCSE and then probably 2 in Y10 and 2 in Y11. Not sure if we will do it ourselves next year or get a tutor. There is the opportunity for college from Y10. He is currently taking a GCSE English class so he will probably take that in Y9. To ensure he achieves his best just involves providing all the recources he needs.

Being confident in a variety of social settings I think is much easier being home educated as he has been around such a diverse set of families - people of all ages and both sexes. He has been to such a range of settings to learn from colleges to galleries, lectures to restaurants, community gardens to tuition centres, theatres to museums and he has taken part in such a range of activities over the years. He's very confident.

PP49 it could have gone the other way too though! I had social anxiety all through school and it was like a beacon to bullies. I was tormented all the way through school and dreamt of being homeschooled. I too have been left with complex mental health issues.
I don't mean for one moment to downplay your experiences just chucking in there that the grass may not have been greener.

There are thousands of children though who suffer poor mental health and have to cope in crowded 30 in a class classrooms. I really don't think either school or home ed are a cure for social or mental health difficulties, both can exacerbate them in different ways.

That said, I think by 13 upwards, the child should, if they have previously been home ed, have a choice to rejoin mainstream education if that's what they want.

Neither approach is a cure-all though for social issues and anxiety and mental health problems- teenagers are as nasty as they are supportive and nice, and going to a mainstream comp certainly isn't going to help your mental health necessarily, or social anxiety- I think posters both romanticise what ordinary school is like just as a lot of home edders demonize what school is like as well. It's just a place, with other people, and people have the same problems in both contexts.

I am not talking about extreme isolating situations or abusive controlling parents who HE.

I think there should be a HE register and checks made, both welfare and educational, but that's not a popular opinion in HE.

Is your son worried about re-entering more formal education later on, say for college or uni?

Do you think your a better parent than everyone else because you gone educate. Only asking because I know a few home educating parents from the circles I’m in (I don’t home educate due to circumstances) and most of the time they make me feel like shit for sending my dc to school with their goady comments and stealth boasts and show offy posts about how much fun learning through child led play and visits to museums is.

How did I prove this point?

I think you’re still struggling internally with your choices you’re projecting it on others.

I’m telling OP she made a choice which was in the best interest of her son who most likely has different personality and needs to your child ? And he is thriving...

Unless you think the only way to feel good about your choices would be to undermine mothers who home educate ?

@Wifeofbikerviking - he plans on getting a degree. He will probably take the traditional route of GCSEs and A levels as he is very academic. But there are all sorts of other routes the DC can take.

I haven't given up work but I only worked part time when he was younger. I'm a nurse so can work shifts around him. His dad is involved with his education too. Now he is older I work full time. Cost is very hard to say. It can cost very little or a lot - it depends on your means. People of lots of different income levels home-educate. There are lots and lots of free resources on the internet and certainly around here lots of quite cheap groups and activities. As well as lots of park/woods/beach meet-ups. But you can spend more on online programmes or curriculums, workbooks, classes, and more expensive activities. Then obviously there are all the usual after school activities and holiday clubs which can be cheap or expensive dependant. There is no typical day. He does different things on different days during the week. When younger a week might be - Arts and crafts group, park with friends, trip somewhere (museum, gallery, farm, theatre), day at home - reading, playing, educational stuff on computer, arts and crafts, science class. It changes and evolves as they grow.

Does he ask to join mainstream school OP?

I am considering to home schooled mine, haven’t made up my mind yet. But only up to a certain age and then off they go. Maybe around 10

I wish there was some form of part time schooling!

In the summer and half term, older children fill the towns and often play outside/visit shops or activity areas such as parks, pools etc locally without parental vision which I think is great - gives them opportunities to navigate independently etc.
Does your daughter do this at any time of the day/year?
If so, do you teach her how to respond to people asking why she's not in school.

If he wants to do a degree, how will he be eligible/prepared and get a place with only 5 GCSEs (you mention 1 in Y9 and 2 in each of Y10 and Y11) when most courses require 8 or 9 minimum?

What subjects will he take at GCSE?

Will he have to go into a school/college for the exams?

How much of schooling for secondary is online vs ‘live’?

How do you afford it?

It does seem a shame to only do 5 GCSE's when academic.

@jackstini - it was that I knew school would not suit him. Turns out he is autistic. I have never reconsidered but it is a nice feeling to get a good few years behind you and see how well they are doing. He plans to take exams - I follow his lead!

@glittercandle - yes - we both went to school

@doadeer - well, by learning and studying just like anyone else! Not sure I understand your question?

@ThatsWotSheSaid - he started to from last year (Y7) as he wanted to do GCSEs. Previous to that he didn't. I've not really worried we've done the wrong thing but others have tried to worry me. Obviously the choice of school is always there so it's not like you can't change if home-ed isn't working. But it's always worked well for my DS.

Do you have local educational authorities checking up on you both?
What are your own qualifications?

@Surfer25 - that's a real shame for you. However my DS and his friends spend most of their time away from their parents now! He'll be getting his GCSEs and head off to Uni, I'm sure. He is confident and independent - I control him much less than some parents - some make their children go to school when they don't want to - my DS does as he chooses!

@Wifeofbikerviking - you reasons are very valid and you will have the oppotunity to achieve those goals.
@ChristmasArmadillo - thanks

Make sure you aren't disadvantaging his university application by taking his GCSEs so spread out.

How do you work full time and home Ed? Or is it more that he does a lot of private tutoring and the Ed doesn't come from parents now he's older?

Taking GCSE's spread out is rarely viewed well by universities. They want to know students can handle a large workload. And he needs to do 8 GCSEs.
It worries me that you dont know this, so could be disadvantaging an academic child when you dont know even the basics like this.

My sister is an English teacher. She has a degree in English and is so knowledgeable about literature and language. She's also an amazing writer.

I have a degree and masters in history. But even then I wouldn't feel confident teaching all aspects of a history syllabus.

My question is how do you have the required knowledge in 10-15 subjects to be able to teach your child to a high standard? I feel like that would take years and years of study to acquire.

Have you asked him whether he would like to try going to high school? What was his response?

Do unis make different entrance offers for home educated kids than they do for high schooled kids? Eg to reflect if they have not done the traditional 9 GCSEs or 3 a-levels in 1 sitting?

A family I know, home educated all 6 of their kids. I've often wondered what quality of education they got, particularly when they had a newborn. The youngest is a teenager now but doesn't seem as mature as kids from similar families. Who went to school.