I home educate - my DS has never been to school - AMA

[OvertheUnicornRainbow]

My DS is almost 13, always been home-educated and is thriving. Ask me anything

Perhaps we should say specialist, not expert then. But a Bachelor degree in, say, geography means someone is more of an expert than someone's mum with a degree in philosophy (or whatever) trying to teach them geography. I doubt home educated children are attending regular lectures led by phd level experts with a strong publications profile, but obviously I don't know this.

@titchy you said Half a dozen GCSEs by 16 doesn't sound much for a supposedly academic kid. That's the workload of a non-academic kid. Why aren't you stretching him?
But all those years ago at my very academically motivated grammar school we were encouraged not to do more than 5 or 6 O levels we'd keep on the A level subjects and do those at A level, usually 3 but some did more eg maths and further maths as well as a couple of others. We were told that if you've got an A level you don't need an o level in the subject, best to concentrate on getting good results with the O levels you took , keep on with what you wanted to do for A levels and do other subjects to just learn about those subjects to round out your education, most people did English and maths at O level, as universities needed them. It meant I could do other subjects as long as they fitted in with the subjects you were studying to exam level, I kept on with geography and art and music and what was then RE , for example, doing them just for the sake of learning. Lots that would have been good to learn we didn't, practical stuff. Never found the social side easy, but managed at uni. My children did a lot more gcses and that was hard work for them and it would have been good had they done similarly to me to be honest.

@maddiemookins16mum - take it you haven't read the thread! Go back a page or 2.

So 5 adults who were HE have posted on this thread and 4 say it was shit.
All the HE parents who have posted say it was wonderful.
This is pretty much my experience generally. No HE parent will say they mucked up their DCs childhood and education. The majority of adult HE say it did.

@Tombakersscarf - yes, of course! But teaching younger DC Geography is not beyond most. As they get older of course they seek out more information themselves. I would say my DS's Science teacher is an expert as per my description and the lead of the STEM workshop he does. He attends lectures with Phd speakers quite regularly. I would call his Art teacher who is a professional artist an expert too. So while at school he would be around more specialists as a home-edder I think he probably has more contact with experts.

@outingpost, I haven't time to read TFT but others have probably mentioned the new thing about flexible schooling? A school in Dorset was on the radio last week saying that their families can do three days in school and two at home. It seems there are more options these days, although maybe you'd not find them locally, or within suitable timescales….. Good luck.

FWIW, I'd quite like some flexibility, esp for holidays - but it must be hard for teachers to ensure children have accessed the full curriculum. MY DS is autistic and has had some hard times, but unless it became unbearable bullying I would rather he learned to cope, and understand the real world now, than have it come as horrible shock later! He struggled a bit at primary but seems to be doing really well at secondary, and my DD has also learned many useful life lessons socially.

I'm not against HS in some circumstances, but would want to consider the social side really strongly before going ahead!

I know 2 adults who were HE and neither speaks highly of the experience. Once is 20 failed at university and has come home. Mum has 3 more kids (sperm donors) and he is a surrogate dad. It's so dysfunctional and no one is checking up on those kids. People like this give HE a bad name and are where the stereotypes come from unfortunately.

Flustered I too am of the age that did O levels. 5 or 6 even then is pitifully poor. I did 10! We all did. And got decent grades.

@janemaster - but all you who have said it were home-ed a long time ago. Which has little relevance. But keep on telling us all your old stories! As I said do your own AMA if you want to talk about the olden days. Stop derailing my thread unless you have an actual question!

@OvertheUnicornRainbow
How do you expect your DC to interact with others as he grows older and enters university and the workplace?
I was homeschooled and was isolated.

@Hercwasonaroll - that is such a shame. Did she struggle socially or academically. Of course parents are more likely to tell other home-edders about their DC when they are doing well. I don't suppose anyone wants to share if their DC didn't. So we hear of more of the success stories. But I guess it's the same at school - noone is going to brag about how badly their DC is doing. I went to a top grammar and while their were many successes among my peers there was an awful lot of failures unfortunately. But then people blame the school rather than the parents who are of course responsible for their DC's education.

@Flusteredcustard - I feel that is a better model too. The amount of GCSEs expected now is ridiculous. Especially when DC are being dragged through a subject they have no interest in.

@DreamTheMoors - he's not isolated.

Finding this thread really interesting.

Have to say that personally I think there’s a very big difference in the connections/closeness created when you spend 6-7 hours every weekday with the same group of friends than you create with those you socialise with through a weekly group eg cubs or a dance class.

How do you expect your DC to interact with others as he grows older and enters university and the workplace?

Home ed doesn't mean being in isolation. My DC are in stacks of clubs, both home ed and after school clubs, they also do scouts, which puts on loads of additional activities and weeks away. Plenty of opportunities to socialize with others.

Hi OvertheUnicornRainbow it’s good to hear that you are successfully educating your child. Good for you. Just reading the comments and it strikes me that there’s a lot of misunderstandings about both home education and a school education. Can I ask if you have decided to home educate come what may or do you review the decision to home educate. Do you discuss with your DC to keep options open or was it a one off decision? Can I also ask how people react when you tell them you home educate?

Do you feel then that the ease you are finding in HE, and the flourishing of your child are partly due to the luck of where you are geographically.

You are lucky geographically to have multiple museums, art groups, home Ed groups and people with phds who will willingly do lectures pitched for 12 year olds.

If you have a child who would find it hard to cope with school in almost any other part of the country there wouldn’t be the groups and workshops and classes which are allowing your child to flourish (your word) and also take up enough of his day that you can work full time.

Could you replicate the education that your child is achieving at home if you lived in rural wales, or Aberdeen, or Carlisle..?

The National Curriculum or in Scotland the curriculum for excellence seeks to even out the post code lottery in education which you are making work to your benefit, purely by dint of your geographical location. This allows my nephew in Glasgow, my children in Aberdeen and my friends on Skye have the same educational opportunities and standards.

Especially when DC are being dragged through a subject they have no interest in.

I disagree here. Learning shouldn't just be focused on stuff you're interested in. What if a child was only interested in unicorns and ladybirds? At some point they need to learn Maths, Science, etc. Specialising too young can also mean children miss out on careers or degrees they would have enjoyed. At GCSE level students can usually pick at least 2 options. The other subjects are mandatory to give students a broad curriculum.

OP what kind of talks are the PHD experts giving?

@Dorsetdays - I agree you definitely need more than an hour or 2 once a week to make proper friends. My DS sees his friends probably on average 4 times a week. And they chat in between.

Well @titchy, it might have been pitiful but my school was the top girls school in the area, selective, and most of us went on to uni which was not common in those days. We were the creme de la creme, most of us went on to do professional careers (one of the books we did at o level was the prime of miss Jean brodie lol) and to be honest the schools that did loads of subjects tended to be the poor reputation comprehensives. We never realised that our education was pitifully poor. But for sure I'd not have gone to uni had I gone to one of the other schools. So maybe the pitiful education was just about good enough

@Loobylu44 - we don't really formally reconsider but we have always been child-led so if our DS had any inclination for school we would back him. If I thought it would be in his best interests I would speak to him.

How do people react? Some are intetested, some are rude, some feel they need to justify why their DC goes to school and some are just astounded that you're not ready to off-load your child to school!

Hmmm...do you not see how a comment like ‘ready to off load your child to school’ could come across?

@BathshebaKnickerStickers - I don't think we are alone in being in a good geographical location. I know there are many others all over England. A poster in the north confirmed this. As a non-home edder, though - you wouldn't be aware of what is available to home-edders in your area. So no I know it is available all over the country - but that doesn't necessarily mean everywhere. Around here people who live rurally just travel that bit further. I'm not sure where you are but, yes it did sound very dire which I suppose is why you seem so amazed at the facilities available to us. But as I said we're not alone. However, I know nothing about what is available in Wales or Scotland.

Oh and I said nothing about flourishing - that was your word. And I said nothing about it allowing me to work.

@OvertheUnicornRainbow Sorry I read back and I realise the word you used was thriving rather than flourishing.