I home educate - my DS has never been to school - AMA

[OvertheUnicornRainbow]

My DS is almost 13, always been home-educated and is thriving. Ask me anything

@Hercwasonaroll - I would imagine a rare child would be interested in unicorns! But maybe I can't comment on that due to my username!

I was refering really to DC who are forced through a subject at GCSE that they have no aptitude for and consequently fail at. Rather than a less interesting (to them) subject that they will still get a decent grade at.

@Janemaster - all sorts.

do you not see how a comment like ‘ready to off load your child to school’ could come across?

Plenty of people I have met in real life who use schools have used that terminology themselves. Because they couldn't cope with having the children with them all day every day. (Their words, not mine).

@Flusteredcustard - you have just taken me back! That is what the headteacher at my grammar school used to say 'you are the creme de la creme!'

Twilight. I’ve never heard anyone else use that phrase and can only comment where I have seen it used which is here in this thread...

@OvertheUnicornRainbow - if you lived in the rural highlands you would need to choose between travelling “that bit further” and working full time though. If you had a 90 minute to 2 hour trip to each of your son’s groups and workshops then you wouldn’t be able to work full time. People with children similar to your son aren’t in a position to Home Ed and work. If you had to choose (like they would), what would you choose?

inteeresting thread OP - ive read the first 5 pages.

Personally i would never Home ED my kids. They would lack GCSE's,opportunities to socialise and expand their minds

This "one on one" thing, isnt ok. Kid's need their peers. Yourself having the opportunity to gain 10 GCSE's - you are totallydepriving your child to have the opportunity to gain the same.

You asked how you were holding him back? thats how ^

some kids dont want to go school, guess what, they go! they realise they actually enjoy it.

I dont honestly think you have given school enough chance, even a different one,smaller one?

its very sad

@dorsetdays - I was asked how people react when they find out I home ed....therefore it wasn't me saying it!! So really not sure what you mean by your comment?!

Twilight. I’ve never heard anyone else use that phrase and can only comment where I have seen it used which is here in this thread

Fair enough. Do you home educate? (Sorry I haven't looked back to check). Because quite a few people have said that to me as a home educator. Not said in a horrible way. Just honest conversation.

@Dorsetdays - as a parent with schooled DC - I guess? Maybe you can tell me why parents of schooled DC say it?

Oh, 90 minute to 2 hour drive if there are peopl,e with phds who want to lecture at a 12 year old level in Inverness

@BathshebaKnickerStickers - no worries

@Dorsetdays - you really need to read and understand a post before commenting on it!

Twilight. No I don’t HE and would never consider it for my own DC. Other than for SEN reasons, which I can understand, I genuinely don’t believe it’s in the child’s best interests.

Really wonder how many people who HE do it more for their own reasons/self interest, even where they tell themselves the opposite but not sure how you would ever measure that as no HE is ever going to admit it, either now or retrospectively.

Having said that, HE is here to stay I’m sure, in which case I do think that it needs to be much more tightly controlled with regular checks etc.

@OvertheUnicornRainbow I am very much happier now thank you. But it took me unnecessarily long to get to this place. It sounds as if you are a loving thoughtful parent who has done a lot of research. My parents sound exactly the same if you were to meet them. They are both also qualified teachers. I hear that there are lots of home Ed groups nowadays and that’s great. I didn’t have those but I attended a multitude of activities and met up with those friends in between. The overall experience was still nothing like going to school with a group of my peers. I am so happy when I see my own DC socialising with different groups of children at school, moving fluidly between them, growing and developing and changing friendships as they mature. I love meeting their friends they have made themselves and as teens, those friends coming over after school and hanging out with them. It is what I missed out on and what I feel your DS may also be missing out on, just by dint of having a more limited social circle and having less time to spend with them. I sincerely hope I am wrong and that you don’t end up with the relationship I have with my parents.

@BathshebaKnickerStickers - as I said I don't use his activities so I can work so time to reach an activity would have no effect on me. We do often travel that length of time but not everday of course. I know plenty of people who have put their DC's education above their work when the DC could not cope with school. I'm sorry the facilities where you are are so bad. Maybe travel around a bit more? Then you wouldn't be so amazed at DC attending lectures - they are so much fun!

OP can you give us a few examples of recent talks given by PHDs?

@carly2803 - yep - you clearly haven't read much. If so you would see how irrelevant your comments are. My DS has plenty of peers and close friends and every opportunity for GCSEs and beyond. So no - not holding him back. I wonder if you have given your DC the opportunity for home ed? No? How sad

@Blueskiesdazzleme - I'm glad to hear it. My comparison between my schooled DD and my DS is that while DD may physically spend more time with peers - she has a much narrower set. My DS mixes with many more DC. He is almost 13 now and brings friends over, they have sleepovers and go to places together. I can't say it seems any different to what I did at that age.

For the record I loved having my DC at home with me when they were little and have never wanted to off load them to school. It broke my heart to send each one of them off when it was time to start Nursery year but they thrived and experienced much more than we (as lawyers not educators working in a cohesive supportive environment based around the needs of children) could have given them. I do realise not all schools are like that.

OP thanks for the interesting thread and your extreme patience with the more tedious and aggressive posters who are obsessed with GCSEs

I have three teens and think school is limiting in many ways. For example, all my children have got to do 10 GCSEs with six of the subjects being complusory. This means they're spending hours per day learning about stuff they have no interest in. DS1 is bright and very motivated to teach himself about things he's passionate about but by year 10 had completely disengaged from school. His confidence dropped and his GCSE results weren't very good. He's now doing a vocational course he's interested in and is like a different person but school put him off exams for life and he's got no interest in going to uni.

My creative but non-academic DD is also being forced to do 10 GCSEs despite the performing arts courses she's interested in only requiring 5 GCSEs and a successful audition. I'll be surprised if she passes them all and think she'd be better off doing a smaller number of subjects to a higher standard.

A lot of time is wasted in school; a couple of friends of mine have HE'd their children and I remember one saying their child had done GCSE geography in 3 months because they could get through the curriculum really efficiently working on their own. This young woman did an OU degree in her teens and is now doing a PhD.

It’s like the large families threads. Parents posting about how marvellous it is adults from large families themselves explain how they hated it but are dismissed fingers in ears la la la.

After reading this thread it seems to me a big risk you take in sending your children to school is that they spend their days in the company of others who have parental influence as narrow minded as some of the posters here.

@janemaster - a few recent ones - Light, Explosives, Pascals Triangle.

Really wonder how many people who HE do it more for their own reasons/self interest, even where they tell themselves the opposite but not sure how you would ever measure that as no HE is ever going to admit it, either now or retrospectively.

I don't do it for my own benefit. I do it because it's the right thing to do for my children. If they wanted to go to school I would help them to do so. I haven't met anyone in my home ed network that does it for themselves. They do it for their children, often because of Sen, but often because they were not thriving at school. It doesn't mean that no one out there does it for their own benefit, but, unless you know plenty of home edders I can't really see how you can logically arrive at that conclusion with no evidence to back it up.