I home educate - my DS has never been to school - AMA

[OvertheUnicornRainbow]

My DS is almost 13, always been home-educated and is thriving. Ask me anything

Are you a qualified teacher?

@Likefootball - no!

@Likefootball - funnily enough I did want to be a teacher at one point. I worked as a TA but it put me off for 2 reasons. 1 was how little learning happened as discipline took up so much time. The second was how constrained the teachers were by the NC. They had to move on even if the DC hadn't learnt the previous topic.

Do you think you can teach your DS as well as a school staffed by specialists ?

I had some friends from swimming, Brownies, dance etc but they all had school friends who were their ‘proper’ friends. It was more of an issue in teenage years as I had very low self esteem and didn’t really feel like I fit anywhere. I was moved up a few years at the primary school I started at and didn’t like that as I was obviously with much older children. At that point my parents took me out of school - I liked it at the time, most kids would prefer to be at home, but it definitely wasn’t the best thing for me. I had a full scholarship to an independent school at age 11 but my parents didn’t want me to take it. I didn’t want it at the time as there seemed to be so many restrictions and rules but I was a child and didn’t know what was best for me. University was such a shock to my system and I always felt disadvantaged by not having the close set of school friends that most of my uni friends did. They were also so much more confident than me. My parents always thought I was very confident but children are different when they are alone with their peers.

I’m home educating my 10 year old
Not through choice ,for the last 2 years my lea couldn’t find him a school.nowthey have for September,( special school )but he’s got so used to home and the internet ,it’s going to be hell to get him in a taxi .so my question is how do you limit screen time ,you might be able to give me some ideas to use between now and September .if this has been already covered ,let me know which page it’s on ,as I’ve not read all 32 pages

@Likefootball - as discussed - schools aren't full of specialists. But my DS learns from specialists every week.

Thank you for answering my question (about 10 pages ago I think) about alternative approaches.
I worked at a school where there weren’t really any discrete subject disciplines. Learning was almost exclusively through project type work. I wondered if many home edders took a project based approach. It seams from what you’ve said that your ds does study discrete subjects with subject specialists. It sounds as bit like private flexi-schooling.
It all sounds very positive.
Do you think there are any downsides for you son?

@Blueskiesdazzleme - that's so sad. Why didn't you have home-ed friends?

@Springsnake - I'm sorry I can't really help with that - we don't have any issue with screen time - my DS has lots of other things he's interested in. I hope all goes well for you and your DC.

The secondary schools I've worked in locally are all full of specialists. It's a real shame yours isnt. I do realise feom mumsnet how different different areas are.

I also think OP is in a small subset of rather wealthy homeschoolers who can afford subject specialists in a range of subjects. Many will end up self taught/following interests or using internet school (and im v glad its there for those who cant manage school.)

There are a lot of posts on here to look through so apologies if you have answered allready. My DS didn't slot right in to secondary school and struggled considerably with friendship groups within their class. When you HE, how do you equip children to cope with social situations in later life. When DS has requested to be HE on the darker days I always argue that its not only about learning, but it's also the social aspect. What about in later life? We don't get on with everyone we work with for example, or housemates etc. What do you do on that front? How do you build things like social resilience? I've always wondered tbh.

I knew one from a religious family whk pretty much did play computer games and wathc wildlife programmes all the time. He was v bright but it did seem he missed out. He was in hamahire where there afe fab 6th form colleges though so able to join for 6th form A levels in preparation for uni.

I need to proofread 🤦‍♀️. I struggle typing on my phone.

How sad. School friends walking to school making plans. All great memories and socialising skills

Secondary schools are full of specialists, in Scotland anyway - you have to have a degree (or a relevant amount of degree level credits if, for example, your degree is in engineering but you teach maths) in the subject you teach. Some of us have masters in those subjects.

@CuckooCuckooClock - thank you. It has only been more recently that the subjects have become more segregated. My DD's school work through topics every half team. They do do seperate Maths and English, Music, French and P.E too. She enjoys the topics.
I'm trying to think of downsides. I think we've got a lot of things available and if it isn't you can just set it up and there will be enough DC to do it. But of course that takes a lot of parental input and sometimes travelling. So on that basis if you/your DC weren't particularly interested in something you could skip it entirely. And sometimes you find you like something you didn't think you would! So although I know of a yearly home ed Sports day - we've never done it. Although he did do an annual Sports day in Beavers/Cubs. He hasn't ever done team sports except team work in Karate. But then his DSis has never done a competition and maybe never will. Overall I feel he's been exposed to an extremely wide set of activities so it's not a massive issue.

@SquashedFlyBiscuit - I'm not wealthy atall! My DS's best friend's DM is a single mum on in work benefits! I do know some wealthy home-edders but not many, tbf.

@OvertheUnicornRainbow this was the 80s, I don’t think home ed was at all common then. I never met any other children who were HE and of course without the internet it wasn’t as easy to find others in the area. I am glad your son has some sort of peer group but I really feel that I missed out. My parents were obsessed with a better ‘quality’ of education that I could get at home and it probably was of a better quality that I would have received at the local state school but I missed out on so many things that aren’t taught in the classroom. I would hate my DC to feel as socially unprepared for situations as I was and to overcompensate so much as a result. It took me the best part of 40 years to find a balance. I know that happens to people for many reasons but I was a naturally bright bubbly social child who became quiet and shy as a result of HE and not socialising much. I then had to completely redefine myself as an adult and essentially did what should have been teenage self discovery at uni and beyond. It was messed up and I am not sure what it was all for. My relationship with my parents is cordial but irreparably damaged as I still feel angry towards them.

@BBOA - my home-ed DS mixes with a wider range of DC than his Dsis who mixes with the same 30 DC in her class and all from the small catchment. He doesn't get on with everyone he mixes with or works with and he socialises with people from a variety of backgrounds too.

@Jeeperscreepers69 - no different to home-ed kids walking somewhere making plans!

@Tombakersscarf - in England teachers teach subjects they don't have a degree in. And not to be rude but I wouldn't necessarily call someone with a Batchelors degree an expert. I tend to think of experts as those working in their field and with higher qualifications than a batchelors degree.

@Blueskiesdazzleme - I'm so sorry to hear that. Yes, it is very different now. I hope you are happier now.

@BathshebaKnickerStickers if you’re near any English Heritage locations, they’re quite good for supporting national curriculum
www.english-heritage.org.uk/learn/histories/

If you find a place you’d like to visit, go to the learn section and look for teacher resources. They’ve got lots of pdfs for teachers aimed at ks1-ks3 with various “tasks” for groups/ individuals to work on.

Are you a qualified teacher?