Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AMA

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I'm a trans man and local trans activist, AMA

999 replies

Sideris · 05/01/2020 07:10

Hi there, folks.

As the title says, I'm here to respond to questions in good nature.

For a bit of background information, I'm 30 years old, a trans activist out of necessity (being the first 'out' trans person in numerous spaces, which didn't have any rules or regulations before, but have since been commended for ease of process by some new trans members or trans members who have been referred by me), have been 'passing' for about three years, now.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Geoffreythecat · 05/01/2020 09:23

Do you understand why some natal women are afraid of transwomen being in female only spaces?

Given there's no factual evidence supporting that fear, no

Karen White? Were you aware that a study shows that when Target started to allow anyone in women's changing rooms, offences against women increased dramatically? And that offending by transwomen continues to be male pattern?

Here's the question I'd really like you to answer: do you feel that if women are uncomfortable with, or scared by a person born male in a women only space, that women should have to accept that? If so, do you think that aligns with the Equality Act 2010?

SylvanianFrenemies · 05/01/2020 09:23

Danni, this section is called "ask me anythjng". The OP is clearly ok with being asked, well, anything. It's not like the people here would harangue a trans stranger in the street with these questions.

furrytoebean · 05/01/2020 09:23

I am not afraid of people for what sex they've been described to be

It always boils down to this doesn't it.
The idea that women who are trying to safeguard themselves from male people are being somehow unreasonable or bigoted, like someone's sex is totally irrelevant and we just need to stop bringing it up.

No, no, no, no, NO.

Male people commit the vast majority of violent crimes, female people are on average are smaller and carry the risk of pregnancy.
If you can't name the problem, you can't fix the problem. It's not some random cluster of people are more likely to commit violent crimes and some other random cluster of people are on average smaller and can get pregnant.

I did not ask to be born female, and it's something I can't change.
I do not identify with womanhood, I am not complicit in my oppression.

How can you not see how misogynist the whole trans ideology is??

EmmaGrundyForPM · 05/01/2020 09:24

HI OP

Please can you explain what now makes you a man rather than a woman? I'm a bit confused. Also, how did you know you were Male rather than female?

GlitchStitch · 05/01/2020 09:25

Do you ever get tired of spending your time trying to police language, policy etc even down to how women's medical appointments are issued (!) just for your personal validation? Do you ever stop to think it's a bit narcissistic?

Also, as you are attracted to men do you consider yourself a gay man? If so do understand why many gay people think that's homophobic?

ElefanteIntheroom · 05/01/2020 09:26

liked boys things like maths and boys freedoms and games like rugby and trainsets

FFS! Lots of females like these things too. They are not interests exclusive to bio males. Wtf is "boys freedoms" anyway?

Cwenthryth · 05/01/2020 09:26

OP, why do you think certain spaces, services and facilities are segregated by Male/Female in the first place?

TheWeeMacGregors · 05/01/2020 09:26

Midgebabe- I was similar, from about the age of 6 (1981) I got heavily into football only to find that I wasn’t ‘meant’ to like football, let alone play it. I had always preferred boy’s things, hated dolls etc, but now went full scale, dressed ‘like a boy’, played boy parts in games etc. My parents, bless them, didn’t bat an eyelid. I’m still not a ‘girly girl’ but damn it, I am a woman. I’m not sure what would have happened to me now.

Pinkyyy · 05/01/2020 09:26

@Danni12 I think you can't consider yourself an ally if you don't ever listen to questions from the other side. If you haven't thought about any of the things people have brought up on this thread, then you're more of a cheerleader than an ally, in my opinion.

Helmetbymidnight · 05/01/2020 09:27

Please can you explain what now makes you a man rather than a woman? I'm a bit confused. Also, how did you know you were Male rather than female?

it would be wonderful if the op would answer. op has been asked several times what makes them a man (and has asked us to ask them anything so i dont think its impolite) presumably op also spent years asking themselves this before/during and after transition so i look forward to hearing the answer.

Peterspotter · 05/01/2020 09:28

Danni do you think that could be down the fact that most people are scared shitless of speaking about how they really feel?

I know man who I always got on with and wasn’t surprised when he transitioned. I was happy for them. All of the people I spoke to were. But when lightly challenged over some dubious media posts they posted I was accused of being hateful. None of our mutual friends commented - yet in my private inbox I had lots of women agreeing with me but afraid be seen as transphobic in public as it could effect their work and social standing.

JacquesHammer · 05/01/2020 09:30

and games like rugby

Yeah so do I. I’m a woman. My safety at playing rugby now has the potential to be compromised.

Liking rugby doesn’t make one a man Confused

FFSFFSFFS · 05/01/2020 09:30

Do you understand why some natal women are afraid of transwomen being in female only spaces?

Given there's no factual evidence supporting that fear, no

There is no evidence that people who were born make are a threat to women in female only spaces? REALLY? What is your answer to the question of why do female only spaces exist?

FFSFFSFFS · 05/01/2020 09:31

Would you insist on going to a male prison if you were sent to prison?

Helmetbymidnight · 05/01/2020 09:32

do your partners identify as gay men?

Thatagain · 05/01/2020 09:32

Do you really think a person can change their sex?. Where is that info from about a women not haveing a cervix?. All women have a cervix. Do you think as humans anyone is satisfied with their bodies. How can a minority group change the reality for the majority? Do you think that women will ever be comfortable with a man in their public toilets? Do you have a identity issue? Do you think anyone has the power to change people's knolage and truths (Except satan) what are you trying to achieve? Do you think homophobia and transphobia exist? I do not understand the people phobia words.

WellErrr · 05/01/2020 09:32

Would you insist on going to a male prison if you were sent to prison?

Very valid question.

If not - why not?

GertiMJN · 05/01/2020 09:32

Danni12
MN is one of the few places brave enough to allow discussion about changes to safeguards/policies and the actions of individuals that impact on the safety and wellbeing of women, children and young people.

Show me all the attacks on the trans community ?

midgebabe · 05/01/2020 09:33

Boys freedoms included going out after dark and when speaking up for themselves being seen as assertive not aggressive, and being allowed to ignore dirty dishes in favour of my hobbies

What I am talking about are the stereotypical ideas and restrictions that were pushed on me from school, other adults and children from a very early age that made me think I must be a boy. I don't in any way today believe they are true. But the constraints of society are hard to push against, hence my childish belief ( lasted till about age 20) that I. Was really Male.

I am glad, actually proud of myself, that have pushed against the stereotypes.

Notwiththeseknees · 05/01/2020 09:34

Danni

Welcome to the world outside your echo chamber. This is what women really think. Let me be clear on this, I mean women as adult human females.

Soontobe60 · 05/01/2020 09:35

*What do you think about people who talk about the current “social contagion” of gender transitioning?

I do not believe it exists. I believe the option has been brought up and that there's importance in people seeing who they are.*

As a teacher of over 30 years, social contagion is a very real thing amongst children. The latest 'trend' is the transgender issue. Children are very easily manipulated by society into thinking certain things. Children like to both conform and be different, and claiming to be a different gender is currently a hot topic in schools. We know that human brains are still developing up to early 20s or beyond, hence the huge concerns about those below this age taking certain drugs such as marijuana and the impact it has on their developing brain.

OP, considering all this, at what age do you think that hormones should be prescribed for people who want to change gender?

What is your definition of a man and a woman?

Do you see that sex and gender are two different things?

How old are you?

GlitchStitch · 05/01/2020 09:37

I am a feminist and I am a trans ally

What do you mean by trans ally please? There are plenty of people who support rights for trans people, are against discrimination etc but are receiving death/ rape threats or called evil bigots for simply believing biology exists. You'd best make sure you're the 'right' kind of trans ally ( the kind where only complete capitulation to every demand will do) before you start criticising others.

Nousernameforme · 05/01/2020 09:37

Do you think it is a feminist issue that trans men are so poorly looked after medically. For instance the lack of information around reduction of estrogen causing vaginal atrophy. The aforementioned possibility of being missed out on smears. The lack of information about the problems caused by the ftm bottom surgery. Etc

Personally I do think this should be as feminist issue but is that offensive to you

Egghead68 · 05/01/2020 09:40

Thank you very much for answering my questions OP.

Do you believe that people can also be born into the wrong race? And if they are, should the NHS prescribe fhem chemicals to make their skin darker or lighter and surgery to change their features?

YouJustDoYou · 05/01/2020 09:41

Do you have any sympathy with women who don’t want male to female transsexuals in their toilets and changing rooms?

"I believe they've been misdirected, as they've already been doing so for decades"

BECAUSE WOMEN KNOW WHO HAS JUST ENTERED THEIR TOILETS BUT ARE TOO PETRIFIED TO SAY ANYTHING!!!!!