I'm a trans man and local trans activist, AMA

[Sideris]

Hi there, folks.

As the title says, I'm here to respond to questions in good nature.

For a bit of background information, I'm 30 years old, a trans activist out of necessity (being the first 'out' trans person in numerous spaces, which didn't have any rules or regulations before, but have since been commended for ease of process by some new trans members or trans members who have been referred by me), have been 'passing' for about three years, now.

Can you see how it’s only women this is happening to? The same isn’t true of prostrate exams. And we don’t see the word ‘men’ being forcibly changed to ‘prostrate havers’ or ‘ejaculators.’

Sorry to point this out but it's prostate, not prostrate.

Hi OP.
What is a man?
What is a woman?
Thanks

Most trans activists seem to wilfully be unable to grasp the concept that women’s concerns are not anti-trans. Self ID allows the system and women’s hard fought sex based rights to be abused.

Women who've had hysterectomies or were born without a uterus can now opt out of receiving a letter to remind themselves of it.
Pretty sure that women don’t forget they’ve had a hysterectomy

Did you consult advocacy groups for cervical cancer, such as Jo’s Trust or Eve Appeal, on this change? How this will affect women who don’t have English as a first language or learning difficulties for example who may not be able to access a tick box form using medical language? Smear tests are about saving lives, cancer doesn’t care about your feelings.

I am shocked that an individual campaigner can make this change at a local level. It is extremely concerning. Where is the scrutiny? Were equality impact assessments carried out - what were the findings?

The point Mummyoflittledragon makes is the one I bang my head against a brick wall with my woke friends.

It's not a rare transwoman that poses the threat. The fact that they are trans is not the safeguarding issues. It's opening up women's prisons, shelters, spaces to MEN as a class that is a safeguarding issue. My lovely transwoman friend wouldn't hurt a fly, I've known her for over a decade but if she is allowed into a female only rape shelter then so can any man who says he identifies as a woman. Any repetition of the magical incantation that "transwomen are women" opens that gate to any man, anytime, anywhere. That's how you get the Karen Whites of this world.

I'm trying to find a local trans inclusive drag group 🤯

So... you were a biological woman who didn't 'feel' like a woman so transitioned to become a man but want to join a drag group that parodies women!?

‘Sharing with a rare transwoman’? Do you mean you think that girls shouldn’t mind this as long as it’s only occasionally?

What would you say to the girls at my child’s school, then, who would be sharing with a mtf child every day, not ‘rarely’?

One (that I know of; there may be others) has previously been raped and is horrified at the thought of encountering a male student In supposed female-only facilities.

You say you campaign for this to happen.

Why is it so important that it takes priority over that girl’s needs?

Sorry to point this out but it's prostate, not prostrate.

Hadn’t even noticed that!! Autocorrect!

@Chosennone
Have you any thoughts/opinions you'd be willing to share on the huge increase, around 400%, of teenage girls who are wanting to transition to males?

When I was a child, trans men were entirely unheard of. My childhood GP never gave any indication towards possibly being trans despite me requesting double mastectomy, hysterectomy, (essentially) testosterone use for 6 years in a row before giving up.

In 2009, only 32 people indicated female at birth were newly referred to Tavistock. That's incredibly low if you consider how many people question their gender identity or make indications I have.

I believe the increase has more to do with the possibility being brought to light and indications being taken more seriously instead of trans men being a secret hidden away from society.

@Egghead68
What form did any assessment for autism spectrum conditions and mental health issues take prior to surgery/hormone treatment?

I personally had received so many treatments for depression and bipolar disorder (medical and therapy) prior to hormone treatment that I was reaching the point of being considered 'untreatable' as they continued in life threatening extremes. Since injecting testosterone, I no longer exhibit any symptoms of either.

What do you think about reports that most female to male transitioners are on the spectrum and/or have suffered psychological trauma?

I would like to see those reports from a reputable source, but I also believe that autistic people may be faster to eschew how people are 'supposed' to be by society in favour for who they are in reality. Likewise I've also heard many trans people state that people treating them have fished things out of thin air.

What do you think about people who talk about the current “social contagion” of gender transitioning?

I do not believe it exists. I believe the option has been brought up and that there's importance in people seeing who they are.

Do you have any sympathy with women who don’t want male to female transsexuals in their toilets and changing rooms?

I believe they've been misdirected, as they've already been doing so for decades yet speak of a 'future in which this will happen'.

@PityParty4one
Why did you want the change?

I had no life value. I indicated time and again that I was living a lie, that I was trying to play a part to others simply by giving my name, having them use pronouns, reading me as a woman. I was miserable and something in my body was imbalanced, and found it to be the consistent drive that I am a man.

What does it mean to be a man to you?

what is it that makes you a man though op- you havent said.

Could we have a detailed list as to what being a man feels like?

Sorry Sideris I meant why did you want the change to how smears are organised.

However I do appreciate your explanation as to why you felt unhappy as a woman and wanted to be seen as a man.

I'm trying to find a local trans inclusive drag group

So you now consider you are a man who likes to dress as a woman sometimes and feel that you must put the label of "drag" onto that preference?

And following on from Dodos question, what made you switch from protecting girls to dismantling their safe spaces?

Op just to say that in my town transwomen have not been sharing female spaces for decades. At work a gender neutral loo was established. At the gym, they are expected to use family or disabled facilities.

Secondly, I would suggest that whilst the numbers of transpeople were low, this type of accommodation was fine. Once it becomes known that transwomen expect to use female resources, then it won't only be transwomen who are entering, but bad men pretending. Like they pretend to be priests etc etc

I do not believe women have cause for concern about a rare trans woman entering women’s spaces

You have completely misunderstood many people's concerns. The principle of opening women's safe spaces to anyone who 'identiies as female' stops the ability to maintain the space as safe, now and in the future. It makes safeguarding women and children much more difficult - or impossible, because it relies on trust. And since when was it a good idea to trust predatory males....which for the record does not mean I think that all transwomen are predatory sex offenders. It simply means that predatory sex offenders have been given an opportunity that will be exploited.

Bot to mention the reduction in opportunities for women and girls who could not access these places without a women only guarantee.

I am shocked that an individual campaigner can make this change at a local level. It is extremely concerning. Where is the scrutiny?

This was the thrust of my question too, @Cwenthryth

I find it staggering that such a significant change could be made as a consequence of one individual's decision to transition. It would be insightful to understand what level of involvement @Sideris had during their process change.

Are you able to explain what the difference is between a man and a woman?

And why does it matter that the difference is acknowledged?

So if transitioning is now an option, where are all the middle aged women rushing to transition to men? If nothing else for the immediate pay rise?

And why don’t you think your history of mental illness has anything to do with transitioning?

Could we have a detailed list as to what being a man feels like?

Also living as a man.

Are gay men usually ok with you not having a cock?

@flickeringcandle45
*Do you think it is fair that trans people can change the facts on their birth certificates when this right is denied to adopted people?

What tactics should adopted people use to acquire this right?*

I believe birth certificates shouldn't be set in stone. They're people-written and people indicated and thus get things wrong. I've spoken to people who've had the wrong birth date, birth place, sex, parents, even name listed. They also become a significant struggle point for true regretters of transitioning who've had it updated, as they have to jump the hurdles twice.

When it comes to birth certificates I'm rather out of my league, but I do feel they should be possible to update significantly more easily than at current.

@chergar
In your activism what, if anything, are you doing to ensure all spaces are safe for all people? What are you doing about ensuring only genuine transgender/transsexual people are allowed to use typically opposite sex areas, as many people are worried about people (usually m2f) using it as an excuse to obtain access for unscrupulous reasons?

Unscrupulous behaviour should always be abolished regardless of the gender of the person doing so. If a woman is caught in vile acts, she should be punished appropriately. It doesn't matter in that regard if the woman is trans or not.

We're also already in these spaces with little to no incidents. Any incidents that do occur get used against us for decades. I don't think the fear is realistic, given there's no factual evidence of it being realistic.

@Mummyoflittledragon
Have you ever been raped or sexually assaulted? Or been afraid of natal males?

I have been raped and sexually assaulted. I am not afraid of people for what sex they've been described to be.

Do you understand why some natal women are afraid of transwomen being in female only spaces?

Given there's no factual evidence supporting that fear, no.

Hi OP.

What is a man? What is a woman? What words should we use to distinguish between the two biological sex classes? Should universities be censured for saying that XX is female?

One of my daughters has a lot of stereotypically male interests. Sometimes she says "Is it ok for me to like this, it's a boy thing?" I usually respond "you can like what you like. There are no toys just for boys". Am I wrong?

Thanks for your time.

you still have not explained the positive of being a transman rather than a woman

As a child i knew there was something very wrong with me. I was a boy, I liked boys things like maths and boys freedoms and games like rugby and trainsets. I called myself David. I still have a certain hatred of my female body ( it gets in the way and even now gets unwanted creepy attention) and the lack of testosterone is also a bind, affecting my strength

I am nevertheless glad that I wasn't a child today but Year’s ago when my parents helped me understand that maths and trains were for girls, that it was bad people who tried to use my body to hurt and humiliate me . I think getting raped also pushed the message home, it didn't matter what I thought everyone knew I was female and would use that agaisnt me.

I am glad because today I would end up having major surgery and hormone treatment for life to convince the world I was Male, and I don't see why I should harm myself/put myself at surgical risk to correct the faults of society. Even though it would have meant I would now be richer, more confident, climb better ( on the majority of indoor routes that designed around Male height and upper body strength...I am bloody good at balance and technical routes)