I'm a trans man and local trans activist, AMA

[Sideris]

Hi there, folks.

As the title says, I'm here to respond to questions in good nature.

For a bit of background information, I'm 30 years old, a trans activist out of necessity (being the first 'out' trans person in numerous spaces, which didn't have any rules or regulations before, but have since been commended for ease of process by some new trans members or trans members who have been referred by me), have been 'passing' for about three years, now.

I dont believe that they are your only concerns regarding a trans only prison as let's face it you have zero evidence to base any of them on.

The evidence is the significant amount of abuse and distress that trans people get from being in the wrong prison. The people lobbying for trans prisons aren't UK exclusive and the UK having them would set them out in other western countries.

'Evidence' also hardly seems a concern of people making up fiction about how GRC reforms will lead to a stream of non-trans men changing their birth certificate to enter women's prisons, as they'd maybe have ONE example over the entire globe (and that one example should've been isolated as a high risk case, but all safety regulations were ignored).

Not everybody on this thread is cruel. Many of us, including rape victims like me have said they absolutely support your right to live as a man and identify yourself as a man.

Our concern for the protection and safeguarding of women's spaces is not mutually exclusive to supporting trans people.

You have displayed a staggering lack of empathy on this thread, essentially telling rape victims that they are wrong to fear male bodied people in women's spaces because

1. these are not as common as women say and
2. the mental health of trans people must be taken into account despite the mental health of women being affected.

You say trans people shouldn't be assumed to be hateful of women and enjoy humiliating them and making them uncomfortable.

Yet you assume some guards will be hateful of trans people and enjoy humiliating them and making them uncomfortable

Just as you aren't saying ALL guards are that way, we agree not all trans people are that way. Yet you claim you should be allowed to mitigate the risk by choosing which sex segregated prison you would go to.

And then you say that women should not be allowed to mitigate the risk they fear by being able to choose a sex segregated space.

So my question is, if you really think about the above do you see the hypocrisy and double standards raised by the points I have made?

I would really appreciate your thoughts as I think this is a part of the debate people struggle to understand, the insistence of rights and feelings being recognised but not from the other side.

They might not have taken the ovaries though as often leave them. My mums weren't removed when she had her hysterectomy. It's one of the reasons I won't have a hysterectomy for endometriosis as leaving my ovaries wouldn't do me any favours except for not needing HRT.

The evidence is the significant amount of abuse and distress that trans people get from being in the wrong prison.

But you were talking about a trans only prison so it would not be the wrong prison.

Evidence' also hardly seems a concern of people making up fiction about how GRC reforms will lead to a stream of non-trans men changing their birth certificate to enter women's prisons, as they'd maybe have ONE example over the entire globe

One sexual attack by a male against a female in a female prison is enough! We are not cannon fodder.

I think a trans prison or trans wing of an established prison is the safest option for all dont you think?

I can't understand why you think the risk of being withheld medication would be higher in a female prison, than a male prison.

And surely you would have the least risk of that in a trans specific facility where they were well versed in dealing with trans prisoners.

The evidence is the significant amount of abuse and distress that trans people get from being in the wrong prison.

See this is the issue raised by my post below.

The evidence from the other side is the significant amount of abuse and distress felt by women when male bodied people are in women's safe spaces.

Why does your fear of abuse and distress trump ours?

My question seems to have been ignored which is a shame. For my part it’s not trans women that worry me but the erosion of safe female spaces. Allowing individuals with a penis into a female spaces increases our risk. There is already a trend for more unisex toilets and changing facilities despite clear evidence this is less safe for women. Unfortunately certain adaptions are making things worse for us as women. This is not the trans communities fault but I wish our concerns could be acknowledged. As women many of us will have experienced sexual assault or rape. All I want is for women to feel safe and maintain some privacy.

Likewise with medical treatment I think I’m entitled to request a female midwife. Some of the intimidate examinations are traumatic enough without further removing dignity, comfort and choice.

OP Why do think that abuse is more likely to happen in a women's or trans facility than a male estate?

Where do you think a man with a beard is most likely to fly under the radar, in a man's prison or in a woman's prison?

And how come you think it's up to the prison service to manage the risk of males in the female estate and that it's a problem with the facility that can be fixed even when problems have already arisen. But you don't think the same when the risk is to trans people.

Because I'm trying to speak on your terms when my view is 'prisons should not exist point blank, none of this discussion should be taking place because no one deserves to be held in a cell at the whims of another set of human beings who control their daily lives' (with an obvious clausule for those who form an immediate threat to others' safety, before anyone trips over themselves to reach for the Trans Menace Endangering Society Again button).

Just referring you back to my questions from earlier (though now with am additional 2b)

A few questions

1. If you believe that sex is just a construct and doesn't exist, how can you believe yourself to be a homosexual man (ie a man attracted to the male sex)?

2. Using your definition of what makes a man or woman (someone that merely at that point identifies as one) irrespective of how they 'present' how do you know which humans you should be attracted to? I mean, it could be 6 foot muscled be-penised people or a petite busty lady, as both could just as much be men with your definition, and given you aren't a mind reader, wouldn't it be bigoted of you to assume how they feel?

2b) if someone identifies as a man on some days and a woman on others, are you only attracted to them on days they identify as a woman? If they don't dress or act differently (as per your definition they don't need to) how do you know when you should be attracted to them or not?

3. Don't you see how this basically eliminates the concept of a sexual orientation? And isn't that rather homophobic?

'Evidence' also hardly seems a concern of people making up fiction about how GRC reforms will lead to a stream of non-trans men changing their birth certificate to enter women's prisons, as they'd maybe have ONE example over the entire globe (and that one example should've been isolated as a high risk case, but all safety regulations were ignored).

1 in 50 males offenders self identify as transgender according to the ministries statistics.
You really think that won't affect women's safety if they all had the chance to legally change their gender and therefore move to a female estate by the stroke of a pen?

A bearded person without a penis is never going to fly under the radar in any prison.

I don't really understand the no prison thing op.
You say no one should be held in a cell on the whims of another but what do you do with people who commit serious crimes?
Should people like murderers and rapist not be punished? Should the public not be protected from the whims of dangerous criminals?

Also op you say as a gay man you are attracted to men, does that include men with vaginas?

Because I'm trying to speak on your terms when my view is 'prisons should not exist point blank, none of this discussion should be taking place because no one deserves to be held in a cell at the whims of another set of human beings who control their daily lives'

Ahhh so when a PP brought up the connection between trying to erode women's rights through trans ideology and at the same time getting rid of jail time for flashers and sexual offences they were right.

I suspect there is very little data on trans men in male prisons because it doesn’t happen very often. I imagine any prison governor(?) would laugh at the idea, because of the massive safety issues.

Regarding the OPs vision of trans prison being a violent fight for medication, I’m fairly sure that the prisoners wouldn’t be hoarding their own testosterone in their cells. Presumably all medication is given on a daily basis by the prison medical officers?

1) If you believe that sex is just a construct and doesn't exist, how can you believe yourself to be a homosexual man (ie a man attracted to the male sex)?

I'm attracted to men, not penises if that's your definition of 'male sex'.

2) Using your definition of what makes a man or woman (someone that merely at that point identifies as one) irrespective of how they 'present' how do you know which humans you should be attracted to? I mean, it could be 6 foot muscled be-penised people or a petite busty lady, as both could just as much be men with your definition, and given you aren't a mind reader, wouldn't it be bigoted of you to assume how they feel?

I'm not required to be attracted to all men just because they're men and I'm attracted to men. By your definition, straight men should be attracted to me because I was born with a vagina, and that idea is as ridiculous as the idea I 'should know who I'm attracted to'.

2b) if someone identifies as a man on some days and a woman on others, are you only attracted to them on days they identify as a woman? If they don't dress or act differently (as per your definition they don't need to) how do you know when you should be attracted to them or not?

Attraction still works the same for me as it does for everyone else. I've no 'on and off' switch for being attracted to people. I don't understand why anyone would need to ask these questions.

3) Don't you see how this basically eliminates the concept of a sexual orientation? And isn't that rather homophobic?

It doesn't eliminate anything.

Wait wait wait....its okay for women to share prison with trans prisoners who may react violently if their meds are fictionally stopped or messed with, but its not okay to put all trans folk together for this reason???????? What kind of glue do you sniff, OP?

prisons should not exist point blank, none of this discussion should be taking place because no one deserves to be held in a cell at the whims of another set of human beings who control their daily lives

Where should my rapist go then?
Or someone who knowingly drove under the influence and killed a family but now has their license removed and have stopped drinking? Do they get released?
What if my rapist had a stroke and lost many of his abilities, so we let him out because he doesn't then pose an immediate threat?

Where do you think a man with a beard is most likely to fly under the radar, in a man's prison or in a woman's prison?

THIS IS THE POINT. Self ID means a man with a beard who says they are female will have the right to access female spaces, perhaps not currently always in prison. But in an M&S changing room, a swimming pool changing room etc. This is our point!

Hi Sideris

I asked you at the beginning of the thread about the medication and surgeries transmen use, and whether you feel you had all the information you needed to make informed choice about that.

There is plenty of evidence that lack of oestrogen for female bodied people under the age of 40 is problematic as it puts them at increased risk of stroke, heart attack, osteoporosis and dementia.

I'm genuinely worried that in a decade we will see transmen becoming unwell because of their treatment.

Did you have an opportunity to discuss the side effects of treatment with your prescriber/surgeon?

I really do hope you stay well.

Glad to see none of you read the parentheses because you can hit the Trans Menace To Society button again.

OP - I am confused by your comment that you would be worried by the abuse between trans inmates when their hormones were not dispensed. So I repeat my question if you don’t mind answering.

Why would any trans person need to fear another. You are telling women that there is absolutely no need to fear trans woman in women only spaces. Your implication seemed to me (or I misunderstood) that trans women do not follow the male violence (sexual or not) pattern of the general male population.

Or is it just if a trans person’s hormones are interrupted that they could hurt each other? Only then?

Right, I'll ask a different way then, given the linguistic gymnastics which you are using:

• what makes someone a man, in your opinion: someone thinking that they are a man

What does not make someone a man in your opinion: either, (a) having a male body (b) presenting on a stereotypically 'male' way

And you have no way of knowing what someone is thinking.

So how can you say you are attracted to men?

Hi Sideris, thanks for doing this.
Can I just ask if English is your first language? Apologies if I've got that wrong, I just wondered if some of the confusion around answers was down to phrasing

I wanted to ask you about the following. I'm asking genuinely, and hope you feel able to answer and not feel attacked (because that's not why I'm posting). I'm just trying to clarify my own thoughts in a way that you will hopefully understand and be able to respond to.

I do not believe women have cause for concern about a rare trans woman entering women’s spaces

I think the issue here is twofold: Firstly that historically, women were never asked if they were okay with any transwomen coming into their spaces (however nice or well intentioned they might be). The powers that be that created the legislation around this, just decided. Women's opinions were not just disregarded, but never sought in the first place.

But crucially, now, the umbrella that includes transwomen has widened hugely. In the UK there was a pretty stable figure of around 5,000 trans people with GRCs.

With the expanded Stonewall umbrella, plus self-ID, this figure has swelled massively and now includes males who identify as non-binary, who don't try and present as anything other than male with a splash of make-up, as well as any male who just says they are a woman without having to make any changes at all.

In addition, loads of venues, schools and public spaces/workplaces in the UK are converting their toilets to mixed sex because of trans activism, meaning that lots of girls and women women across the UK, now have absolutely no choice but to share toilets with men.

As a trans man who grew up as a girl and young woman, you must know how incredibly vulnerable women feel around strange men.

Not to mention the sheer embarrassment and shame felt by women having to deal with periods, catheters, incontinence, disabilities and whatever else, around men they don't know. Plus abuse survivors who need single sex space to recover and feel safe. Plus, we have this right to space away from men written into UK law - why should we have to give it up?

It would be really good to know what you think about all that (I know it's a bit of an essay) but I am honestly asking in good faith 🙂

I read your parentheses OP, and asked a question accordingly:

Glad to see none of you read the parentheses because you can hit the Trans Menace To Society button again.

Or someone who knowingly drove under the influence and killed a family but now has their license removed and have stopped drinking? They no longer pose an immediate threat. Do they get released?

What if my rapist had a stroke and lost many of his abilities, so we let him out because he doesn't then pose an immediate threat?

Challenging your train of thinking isn't the trans menace to society button, it's a train of thinking you can also challenge which is what a mutual conversation allows.

Yeah, I'd like an answer to Winealot's question. Explain yourself.