I'm a trans man and local trans activist, AMA

[Sideris]

Hi there, folks.

As the title says, I'm here to respond to questions in good nature.

For a bit of background information, I'm 30 years old, a trans activist out of necessity (being the first 'out' trans person in numerous spaces, which didn't have any rules or regulations before, but have since been commended for ease of process by some new trans members or trans members who have been referred by me), have been 'passing' for about three years, now.

I had asked how you thought life would pan out if, like every previous generation, you had had no option but to tolerate the body you were given. Reading the answers, OP, I see you say that if you hadn't transitioned, you would be dead. But why?

We just don't see older women transitioning in anything like the numbers seen in young (natal) girls and middle-aged (natal) males. I can only think of one well-known example and that's Ben Barres, who transitioned mid-forties after getting sick and tired of being overlooked in favour of male scientists, which I'm sure is by the by.

If numbers of actual transgender people have always been the same, what happened to the transgender natal-females of 40 or 50 or 70 years ago?

Are you saying that the reason we don't see them is that they are all dead?

I think that's an interesting point beyond and one that isn't as far fetched as it seems. The OP themselves has already said that he thinks the criminal system is itself racist but he won't go into that because he assumes we all white.

There's a trend of calling women who want prison sentences for rapists and flashers to be called incarcile feminists and it is hand in hand with the the terf swerf allegation.

furrytoe you made me remember a political opinion I have seen expressed by a TRA that a male who identifies as a woman cannot commit rape: the explanation given is that the natal female's privilege is such that rape isn't possible, since rape can only be committed by a person with power. The natal female at worst has experienced only 'unwanted sex'.

Again this simply says a great deal about utter contempt for natal females, coupled with a desire to remove legal recourse and thereby reduce inconvenience and annoying boundaries for those wishing to offend against them. Again note the complete lack of interest in the voice, feelings, perceptions and experience of the females in all this: they are not even regarded as stakeholders.

Blimey Michelle, I've seen some fucked up word salad in my time navigating this whole ideology but that takes the absolute biscuit!

My god. That's awful.

So my friend was not raped by her ex?
Fucking hell. That makes me so so angry.
She is in a shelter with her children, terrified that she will be hurt again by men demanding to be treated as women.

She deserves to feel safe. She deserves a space where she and her children can recover from the trauma her ex caused them all.
She deserves somewhere to receive specialist support for her rape (not forced sex) that is tailored towards women and is provided by women.

When trying to emulate a woman it caused me constant mental distress to the point I couldn't live, I was just alive.

It was killing me to be seen as a woman.

Oh come on, @Sideris!!!

"emulating" a woman caused you constant mental distress, yet you want to emulate a woman through "drag" ... can't have been that mentally distressing then, can it?

You can't have it both ways.

Can I just remind people that sideris still has a vagina, so clearly is not that distressed by being a woman as he has claimed he has no intention of bottom surgery.

I can't really blame anyone for not wanting bottom surgery, tbh. I don't think the results are worth the risks (potentially). It's up to each individual to determine at what level of intervention they feel comfortable at.
That doesn't excuse some of the attitudes towards other people that the OP has been expressing though. They've made it very clear that transpeople's 'rights' take precedence over other people's rights in their opinion, and that's what they should be taken to task over.

This really is as clear as mud. There is no such thing as sex although you seem to have gone to some lengths to change the objective indicators of yours; gender isn’t a feeling although you feel like a man; wearing a dress isn’t associated with being a woman although now you are a man you would only wear it as part of a drag group; a penis isn’t necessary to rape, although the main issue with rapists is their engagement in bad faith not their penis... I could go on but we have all read the thread.

With all due respect, your attempts to kindly illuminate the issue have just highlighted how utterly illogical and impossible to properly rationalize a lot of this is. You sound like you have had troubles and I am glad you say you have no found peace but this really just solidifies the view this is dysphoria.

This is so true. It further cements my view that trans-activists the most important pronoun is me-me-me and that no prizes for critical thinking will EVER be going their way.

As for the person who suggested it wasn't fair to keep asking the OP what is a man/woman as some kind of trump-card - absolutely it is fair. This is what the OP is all about - its not our fault they can't answer.

they've made it very clear that trans people's rights take precedence over other people's rights in their opinion
I agree and I feel their argument rests on the premise that they have been disadvantaged at a very fundamental and primal level because they were 'born in the wrong body'.

This underlying belief that you can be born in the wrong body leads to such phrases as 'when trying to emulate a woman it cause me such distress' etc, if we accept this statement then we implicitly accept that it is possible to be born in the wrong body.
How can you be born into the wrong body?
Does this mean that before you came into existence you made an agreement with some entity that you should have a certain body?
Is it just a way of expressing dissatisfaction with yourself, if so then I was also born into the wrong body, I would like to have a tall athletic body, I feel sure that this would allow me to be my true self and I wouldn't have to experience the distress of emulating a short dumpy person.

most important pronoun is me-me-me
This encapsulates the whole issue 😅🤣😁

I was born in the wrong body too. I'm absolutely 100% convinced I was meant to be a pampered cat. I'm thoroughly distressed that I'm not currently snoozing on the sofa with a belly full of chicken, knowing my only responsibility is to wake the humans next time I'm hungry. Wave a magic wand, world. I'm fucking over being human.

I can't really blame anyone for not wanting bottom surgery, tbh.

I agree. I also would hate for people to feel forced to have surgery so they could be 'true' trans.

I also don't think that having the surgery makes you any more the other sex, it just means you have had some very invasive and risky surgery.
I don't believe that any amount of surgery can mean a human changes sex.

And most of the time this doesn't matter, you can still dress how you like, we'll call you what you like, but in those tiny cases when sex DOES matter it, it matters a great deal and should be upheld. No matter how much surgery you've had.

I think it's really cruel that the TRA's are telling people that surgery can change their sex.

I can't really blame anyone for not wanting bottom surgery, tbh. I don't think the results are worth the risks

And I completely understand that.
But what I can't understand is OPs insistence that they are a man and hated everything about being a woman. Surely having a vagina is as womanly as one can get.
I also don't understand this "I'm a woman who wants to be a man and find a trans friendly drag group so I can dress as a woman"

I think what I'm trying to say in a not very good way, is that if you are so disgusted by your own body that you believe it is wrong, why wouldn't you change it?

I'm not for one second saying that I believe it's possible to change sex, or suggesting people be forced to have surgery they don't want.

It just baffles me how people can claim this absolute hatred for one's own body, yet do nothing about it despite there being options.

The whole trans thing baffles me to be fair and I honestly believe it should be treated as a mental health issue and all other avenues explored before claiming people are trans.

Same! I wouldn't expect anyone to go through surgery if they didn't 100% want it.

It's the whole "it was killing me being a woman" but then wanting to do drag that makes me question things. I think op is confused, and doesn't actually know how they feel. Op seems to think being a woman is only OK if it's some kind of piss take, for a laugh thing.

Like that is all we are...can't live their life as a woman but can take the piss out of them by dressing up as some over made up, over the the top facsimile of one.

I think the drag thing makes sense (in a makes no sense at all way) if you remember that OP is now presenting as a gay man.
Drag is the ultimate gay man thing to do, it's actually the pinnacle of acceptance as a gay man that you are so removed from being a woman you are accepted as a drag queen.

My decision is not a spur of the moment thing. I asked for a double mastectomy and hysterectomy since I was 10 years old. I never once wavered off that desire and I'm incredibly happy to now have had them.

My question to you OP is how did you hear about double mastectomies and hysterectomies at 10 years old? I would bet most 10 year olds don't have any idea about these kinds of surgeries. What were the circumstances surrounding you at 10 years old that made you aware of them?

That's another point.

We've all heard of transwomen claiming lesbian's are vagina fetishists should they refuse sex with them on the basis of their penis.

I wonder how OP feels if one of his partners, upon discovering he has a vagina, refused to have sexual relations with him.
Would he call them penis fetishists?
Or is that kind of abuse only aimed at women? (Of course it's only aimed at women. This whole thing is extremely misogynistic)

That's a really good point stell

I can't help but feel that all of this is so steeped in internalised misogyny and 'I'm not like the other girls'.
I think once you look at the ops posts from there it makes a kind of sense.

I'd be very interested to know how gay men react to you. Are you on grinder?

Do you think that such a dratic change as sex, from one to the other, which such a hugely significant effect not just on you, but also your friends and family, your community, your society (and yes, it does), having legal and medical ramifications which are longlasting and significant, should be taken seriously? That it should be fully explored by you along with professionals, before it being put into practice?

If not, why not?

How can a 10 year old want a mastectomy when the don't have breasts. It's like a bald man asking for a hair cut.

My actual question is - your desire to change seems to centre round two main points. The desire for others too see you as a man (which I've already questioned and you failed to answer) and your perceived benefits of increased testosterone.

You have indicated that the testosterone is the main part of being a man that you care about - you have even indicated that the beard and hair loss are unfortunate side effects that you accept due to the benefits. You also seem to feel it is the testosterone alone that has cured your mental health.

Is there any evidence that testosterone actually has an effect on mental disorders or is it having some sort of placebo effect on you. What will you do if the placebo effect wares off.

When I was a child, trans men were entirely unheard of. My childhood GP never gave any indication towards possibly being trans despite me requesting double mastectomy, hysterectomy, (essentially) testosterone use for 6 years in a row before giving up.

The OP also asked for testosterone at 10 years old.

I can well imagine a 10 yr old with significant breast development and periods wishing those things would just go away. Or a 12 year old new to those things, I certainly did at that age. They take away some of the freedom of childhood. Particularly before you learn to manage them but even then. It didn't mean I was a man though.

Sure, a ten year old who developed early might wish them away. It's an unusual 10 year old who'd ask a doctor to cut them off though.