I'm a trans man and local trans activist, AMA

[Sideris]

Hi there, folks.

As the title says, I'm here to respond to questions in good nature.

For a bit of background information, I'm 30 years old, a trans activist out of necessity (being the first 'out' trans person in numerous spaces, which didn't have any rules or regulations before, but have since been commended for ease of process by some new trans members or trans members who have been referred by me), have been 'passing' for about three years, now.

Word salad.

@sideris

You haven't answered my question - if a teenage girl identifies as a boy and therefore is allowed to sleep in the boy's dorm, has sex and gets pregnant then what? It's an important consideration.

Again, beliefs are not to infringe on another persons' rights.

So if a teenage boy believes that he is a girl then his belief does not mean he can sleep in the girl's dorm because that is infringing on the rights of the girls to not share a room with a person with a penis (who I would consider to be male since women don't have a penis)

A man wearing a dress is not a woman, though.

Try telling that to men who decide they are going to be Helen on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays and Richard the other days "because that's how they identify" - they just put a dress on and expect everyone to fall into line with how they're feeling that day.

There was even a bloke who took the Woman Employee of the Year off other women, by just putting on a dress and makeup and voila, was now a Woman.

I so agree upthread the point that it's such a coincidence how they somehow manage to cherrypick the "lacy underwear and makeup" aspects of what they perceive as "womanhood" but conveniently dodge the dull stuff. Oh and somehow their career path seems to continue on the same upward trajectory it always did, nice.

That's why women are frustrated at this whole situation. It's so arbitrary and open to exploitation and they're getting away with taking the piss.

Was that Philip/Pippa Bunce who decides daily whether he's Philip/Pippa but still enjoys male priviledge 7 days a week regardless? Clearly being a man isn't enough for him, he has to fanny around with dressing up as if he was still in infant school.

I’m not insisting men should get into women’s toilets, so don’t insist I am.

No you aren’t. But you are saying that we have to believe someone is a woman if they say they are one. Even ones with penises and facial beards. Even ones, who intimidate us and call us terfs. Even ones, who get off on scaring us and want us to be erased. You do not understand or even seem to care that we are afraid of people with penises accessing our safe spaces. You are truly a trans ally and activist and I see nothing feminist in your beliefs.

How do you reconcile this with how you view yourself?

I 'was' not a biological woman, I am a trans man

YES you were/are a biological woman. Just because you don’t like that fact it doesn’t remove it as the truth. You were both female - no amount of self identifying as another gender changes that fact

Please can you explain what now makes you a man rather than a woman? I'm a bit confused. Also, how did you know you were Male rather than female?

Self identity, again. I realized this is where I am comfortable and this is where I'm mentally sound

Just because you call yourself a man doesn’t change the fact you’re a woman.

Yes, I consider myself a gay man

But you’re not. You’re a woman who would like to be a man. Therefore if you’re attracted to women, you’re a heterosexual female.

In every animal on earth there is male and female. Including humans. You cannot change that fact just because you want to

Taking testosterone seems to have improved your mental health. You wish to be treated as if a man. Why not stop there. Why demand all these rights which impinge on women's rights.
You will always have 2 X chromosomes in every cell of your body. You know you aren't a male. Why not let people dress or behave as any gender they want without changing laws especially for you. You're a tiny group - with MTo F of your group demanding Male prerogative ie that their wishes take priority over the wishes of many in the wider population. Why do you think this is right?

Euphorbia
When you put it like that, it isn’t hard to see why there is a massive spike in girls with rapid onset dysphoria.

How do you suggest we protect these girls Sideris? Your views, decisions and demands have a heavy impact on the number of girls identifying as trans. Therefore you and others in the transactivist community should be happy to offer sensible solutions and be prepared to modify their behaviour to mitigate this, surely? You profess to be a feminist after all.

You can ask people not to call you cis. I've not used the term during the duration of this thread. I would continue to include all women under 'women', though, so I'd recommend another word when speaking of women who were assigned female at birth.

Granted you have not used the term CIS for which I am grateful.

However, you then go on to say you’d recommend another word for women who were assigned female at birth. We have a name for that actually. Women.

Again, why do WE have to change?

It is depressing that you cannot see why women are unhappy.

I wish you well in your life as a man. But just because you are no longer part of the sisterhood it doesn’t give you the right to want to redefine us.

If there is an uptick of offenses at Target, that sounds like Target should work on improving the safety of their company

NO. Target made their changing rooms all inclusive/unisex. Allowing ANYONE male or female to use them. The sexual assault and rape statistics went up because penis havers were allowed in with women.

THIS is the issue you are not comprehending. When an all inclusive policy is implemented it is abused. When a company states anyone identifying as a woman can go in with women and girls, it is wide open for abuse from men pretending to be trans not "true" transwomen BUT HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. You say "transwomen have been using your spaces for years unnoticed" - they ARE bloody noticed but because women know they cannot confront them they notice, avoid, and don't say a word. Question: why is it ok for you to want women and girls to be freely open for abuse in mixed sex changing rooms?

Hi OP
My question is if you lived on a desert island with nobody else would you still have transitioned ?
I know not likely to ever happen ,but for example I would shave my head if I lived on one ,as I would be free of societies expectations,(have loads of long curly hair )perhaps clumsy analogy but this question can help to understand our feelings about ourselves as against those of society.
Thank you.

What are your thoughts on someone perfectly healthy identifying as disabled?

OP you seem to have missed out my questions completely. I numbered them so it should be easy to find and answer them. I’d be grateful if you could, thanks.

If there is an uptick of offenses at Target, that sounds like Target should work on improving the safety of their company.

Oh I have an idea, when taking clothes off, how about Target keep those with a penis away from those without. It just may stop all those sexual assaults!

I feel your answers to these questions are either disingenuous or deluded.

This meeds emphasising from YouJustDoYou re Targets mixed sex policy.

THIS is the issue you are not comprehending. When an all inclusive policy is implemented it is abused. When a company states anyone identifying as a woman can go in with women and girls, it is wide open for abuse from men pretending to be trans not "true" transwomen BUT HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. You say "transwomen have been using your spaces for years unnoticed" - they ARE bloody noticed but because women know they cannot confront them they notice, avoid, and don't say a word. Question: why is it ok for you to want women and girls to be freely open for abuse in mixed sex changing rooms?

Well..... testosterone is a helluva drug, huh. OP is completely failing to acknowledge male pattern violence against women, and believes that a women’s right to single sex spaces (/services/facilities/provision) is unjustified. Because OP professes ‘not to care about sex’. Thing is, most other people do care, and whatever your beliefs around sex as a ‘construct’, the pattern of male violence against women is real, I don’t think it’s possible to deny that. Women die from this, it’s not made up.

OP - credit to you for being honest and confirming that you do not understand a lot of our concerns about self-ID. But just because you don’t understand something, please don’t label it a ‘false belief’ - read, listen, learn, and try better to understand. Don’t dismiss other people’s concerns without trying to understand them, as we are trying to understand you here.

But what makes you a man?
If it's wearing trousers and liking stereotypically 'male' things then 50% of women are actually men???

How do gay men react when they find out you're actually a woman?

This really is as clear as mud. There is no such thing as sex although you seem to have gone to some lengths to change the objective indicators of yours; gender isn’t a feeling although you feel like a man; wearing a dress isn’t associated with being a woman although now you are a man you would only wear it as part of a drag group; a penis isn’t necessary to rape, although the main issue with rapists is their engagement in bad faith not their penis... I could go on but we have all read the thread.

With all due respect, your attempts to kindly illuminate the issue have just highlighted how utterly illogical and impossible to properly rationalize a lot of this is. You sound like you have had troubles and I am glad you say you have no found peace but this really just solidifies the view this is dysphoria.

”'Woman' is not being redefined.....I'd recommend another word when speaking of women who were assigned female at birth.”

Leaving aside the fact that “assigned” is completely inaccurate as it implies some element of choice/decision-making on the part of the medical professional involved, why do you think a new word is needed if ‘woman’ isn’t being redefined?

For as long as homo sapiens have been able to communicate, ‘woman’, or its various equivalent words/sounds in myriad languages/dialects has meant ‘human adult female’. For millennia this has been the case.

If ‘woman’ isn’t now being redefined, why is a different word needed for this group? Why can’t we keep the same one?

There is already language to define male-born individuals who have transitioned- ‘transwomen’. Everyone is covered by a suitable word, and if ever anyone needs to include both groups, both can be mentioned.

how society sees and treats me

Feminsits have been fighting for years for society in general to see them as people just the same as men. Whilst recognising that our bodies are biologically different. So we fight to be treated as equal in the workspace , and also to have a firefighter uniform that fits a smaller frame to enable that equality.

You seem to be running away from the fight, and in doing so you push women under the bus because you reinforce the idea that men and women are basically different and you reinforce the idea that society should see and treat women as different to men

That's quite hurtful

I would like to know how you can be called an activist for championing your right to be seen as who/what you are and yet women are labelled bigots/transphobic for doing just the same.

The whole self-ID and “if I don’t acknowledge your viewpoint, it doesn’t exist” approach is by its very nature self-centred, so I for one am not in the least surprised that the OP shows no empathy or understanding at all of women’s concerns.

I’m not insisting men should get into women’s toilets, so don’t insist I am.

Oh stop it! Stop being so dishonest. You are insisting that males should be given access to all female only areas, then twisting words to say that you’re not insisting ‘men’ (because in your eyes TWAW) get into female toilets. Just stop thinking women can’t see the obvious twisting behind that comment.

@sideris

I repeat my question that you are clearly avoiding answering, which I can now only assume is because you are ignoring it for some reason - perhaps because the fact that if the person were to get pregnant it proves that they are a biological female no matter what they identify as?

Here's the question again from the 2nd time I asked it:

You haven't answered my question - if a teenage girl identifies as a boy and therefore is allowed to sleep in the boy's dorm, has sex and gets pregnant then what? It's an important consideration.

Question: Why, just because YOU don't have a visceral reaction to the rape you said you experienced and as such are able to feel safe around men, is it "bigoted" and "transphobic" when women who DO have visceral reactions to men/male bodied people/and transwomen, after being raped or sexually abused/experienced sexual violence, say they do not want to share their previous safe spaces with someone who is male bodied? And your argument of "they've been doing it for along time unnoticed anyway" doesn't hold because women DO notice but are just too petrified to say anything?