I’m one handed AMA

[OneHanded]

As the title implies, do your worst mumsnet!

Why are you one-handed?

Hi @thespottedzebra 😊 I have a paralysed (dominant) left hand! It was very much the inspiration for my username

Have you always been one handed or is it new to you? I’m currently temporarily one-handed (or one and a half now) and you have my every sympathy, dont think my jknickers have been on straight for weeks.

How frustrating do you find it?

Do you find people treat you as stupid or slow somehow, simply because you're one handed?

How do you take the top off a boiled egg?

I knew a lady who cared for her granddaughter, who had a tracheostomy. She was one handed and I was in awe of her ability to suction her one handed!

How did it get paralysed - was it an injury?

What's the small but most annoying thing that you now find tricky?

@purplewithred I’ve been paralysed since Jan this year, I was very much left handed and proud prior! Oh pulling up tights is a laugh and a half I tell you, you have my full sympathy! Hope you’re back to two handed life soon!

@LookAtWhatYouCouldHaveWon I would love to say I don’t find it frustrating anymore, but I think everyday I find a new obstacle. I quickly learnt to cycle with one hand gripping (leftie is getting more and more ‘clawed’ though which has it’s perks purely for handlebars!). It’s most noticeable I find when I shop as tills require lots of rapid finer motor skills and I’m always explaining to cashiers.

@FlamingoAndJohn I’m vegan! Not sure how I would though now I think about it! Jars and bottles get clamped between my feet and opened with my right hand...

@Toddlerteaplease oh wow! That gives me hope as I still hope to become a dental nurse one day! Thank you!

@TheSpottedZebra I suffered multiple fractures including three vertebra. Unfortunately t1 was a compression fracture, with 50-75% of its height lost. It basically severed the nerve root endings from my spinal cord. Whilst nerves can sometimes repair themselves, ripping or severing roots from spinal cord is irreparable damage. Honestly I’m still now noticing writing etc too much as I’m still off work, though having had to fill in UC and PIP paperwork was a nightmare, but because I’ve lost feeling down one side of my forearm and hand I’m accidentally getting severe burns at least once a week with no idea until it’s farrrrrr too late. If I keep doing it they’ll amputate 😳

@OneHanded - I struggle at tills (for a different reason) and if you haven't got one, I would really recommend an Apple Watch simply to pay for things! It's so much easier than trying to get purses and cards out, I literally just hold my wrist up and pay for things. It's really been a game changer for me (I hate that feeling of everyones eyes on you while you scrabble around ). I know they're £££, mine was about three years worth a birthday present.

Bloody hell, ouch If you don't mind me asking, how did it happen?

I lost the use of my left arm in an accident (my elbow bends, but sticks and my arm doesn't rotate below that, wrist is fuse, fingers don't work).
My bike has both brakes off one pull via an adaptor which is fab once I found it, and I cycle in a splint so I can push on the handlebar.

Boiled eggs - I have a top cutter which looks like a torture device as you have like scissor handles to make a whole load of teeth come out of the ring. Electric tin opener and jar opener. Chopping board with spikes. After 9 years I still get caught out by things though - carrying a coffee through an office is really tricky if the doors go the wrong way

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles sorry you know the struggles! I just use my contactless card through a card holder now it’s so much easier! It’s getting points cards out that sucks, great suggestion though thanks! I might ask my parents VERY sweetly... 🤫

@JesusInTheCabbageVan it’s okay it’s AMA after all! I made a very extreme suicide attempt in the belief that it very unlikely to fail. Didn’t even lose consciousness which go figure, couldn’t even get that right.

@CMOTDibbler you are my hero! I’m sorry you’ve lost that function too but goes to show near everything is adaptable! I’m getting my brakes transferred to be all on the right, it’s wonderful to still have that freedom right?

Are you in a better place now op? Sorry to hear of what you've been through. But it seems like you've got a positive outlook on things and a sense of humour

How has losing the use of your hand affected you mentally? You were obviously in a bad position to attempt suicide so I worry this will make things worse.

How do you put your hair in a ponytail?

The first time I really felt in control of my bike again was amazing! When I first swam properly one armed was even more incredible, and now the furthest I've swum is 5km.

I put my hair in a ponytail by gathering it up with the band round my wrist and hooked over my thumb, then my bad thumb is stiff enough that I can trap the band on that and then turn it over. Took me over a year after I was out of plaster/splints to work it out. Before that I twisted it up, reversed into the door frame and then stuck a clip in. Or DH did it.

Hi OP. So sorry you were in a bad enough place to attempt suicide.

Maybe you need something like a special snug silicone glove to wear for protection against burns?

Thank you all. It’s the big taboo and elephant in the room. I’m definitely a laugh my way through things person, but I’ve been severely depressed since about twelve.

@MsChatterbox I put my hair up like @CMOTDibbler! Your fingers stiffen and become clawed so I use my thumb like a hook! But mostly use big clips as I have really long curly hair, I hugely miss plaiting though. Used to have plaits of different types but at least a small halo of the front to keep it off my face.

@SlothOfSluggishness I keep trying to find one but no luck! They’re all fabric which is no use as it’s water and steam I can’t feel, anything solid I have the sensation from bone vibration. Either that or they’re hair straightening protectors for the thumb and index but I have very slight feeling on that side anyway. Fancy inventing one, I’ll pay a hands worth 😅😂

Actually I do have a suggestion. My water gets ridiculously hot, so when I do the washing up, I wear cheapo synthetic/woolly gloves inside my rubber gloves. Makes a huge difference. Could that work for you?

Also, I want to say, and I hope this doesn’t sound crass, but I am thankful to hear about suicide “failure” stories, because when researching methods, it really makes me stop and think maybe I’m better off as I am, rather than a more disabled version of me. I hope that makes sense. I also hope that despite all your difficulties that you are mostly glad that you’re still here.

I’ve been depressed all my life and it’s so scary feeling that low when you’re stuck in it. So hugs to you. I think you’re very brave.

You’ve made me suddenly sit up because there’s an idea @SlothOfSluggishness ! It’s steam, boiling water, and my steaming jug that gets me and when I’m bandaged up I’m so much more careful as I can’t get it wet so that’s a great idea thanks 😅

Equally I’m sorry to hear you relate depressionwise. I don’t think I’m brave, not at all, but I certainly find you very inspiring and I thank you for sharing. I don’t think I’ll ever have a day when I don’t pray to be gone, but equally I’d rather keep talking and laughing about it if it means someone else survives y’know?

Well you’ll definitely look stylish, if nothing else.

Yes it’s defo good to talk/laugh about these things. I have to remind myself to keep on keeping on.

How do you get on with things like brushing your teeth with non-dominant (submissive?) hand, or washing your hair? That stuff makes me cry with two good hands, it’s so tedious and takes me forever.

Am in awe of your strength