I grew up in a family of eight kids, ask me anything

[Waytooearly]

I felt in danger of hijacking the other thread.

I'm 5th of 8 kids, all from same mother and father. Born in 1970.

Here's how many kids each of my siblings have:

1. One
2. One
3. None
4. Two
5. None
6. None
7. None
8. One

I don't know what it means to have your parent "See you as an individual". So maybe that's a no?

Did you ever get a moments peace or enough privacy?

I'm a very happy only and the thought of seven siblings makes my blood a bit cold tbh I don't think I could I cope with living with so many people

What was discipline like in your family? DH is also from a large family and says it was utterly lawless - his mother couldn’t manage all of them, and his father spent a lot of tome at work/sport.

*time

How handed down were clothes and shoes?

Hand-me-downs are obviously an economic necessity at times, but I've often wondered if there comes a stage where the items are too worn. So does the, say, 5th or 6th get new things, or are those at the end in really worn or washed out clothes?

Incidentally my df is one of six (Irish Catholics) and his siblings children go

1. One (unplanned)
2. One (unplanned)
3. None
4. Three
5. None
6. None

And they all are close and have very good relationships both as children (from what I've heard) and as adults.

Did your parents set out to have 8 kids, or was it more that each time they felt their family wasn't "quite done" or something like that?

I have a friend with 6 kids and she just says each time that her family "isn't complete yet".

what did you do as child to get down time and quiet?

did you have your own possessions or was most shared?

Did you envy your friends who had fewer of no siblings or overall were you happier with lots of siblings?

Are you closer to some of your siblings than others?

Were you treated fairly growing up?

Did you ever get one on one time with your parents

What are the age gaps between your siblings?

What as the hardest thing about growing up?
What was the best thing growing up?

My mum was one of 6. Between them, they have had over 30 children (my first cousins) who have, between them (so far), had over 90. I believe at least 3 are currently pg so still counting.

A few of us (first cousins) have only had a couple of children, (I only have 1, making my chain one of the least numerous), and a few of those smaller families have opted for only a couple too.

Sometimes how many children they have is down to financial considerations, but mainly that's not a problem as they tend to be wealthy (my parents weren't, mum having 'married down', which I also did).

The majority of both generations have had more than 3.

I'm one of 4.
I found the lack of privacy and the constant noise very hard.
plus we had a family hobby that took precedence over everything else, so no real downtime.
never any clothes that were new, always hand me downs. never a choice of what to wear.
I was very envious of friends who had an own space at home.

Why do you think they'd 8?
Did your mum love pregnancy, newborns, children, or was it unavailability of contraception, and religious reasons?

Do you think it was irresponsible of them?

I read the other thread too and think that it would be much easier growing up in a family of 10 today, than when you were little.
Today we have extra curricular activities, Household appliances, mums who drive, more disposable income, greater resources, services and support available for mums & children.
Do you agree?

I didn't have a concept of "privacy" so didn't miss it.

I really longed for one-on-one time with my parents.

Hand-me-downs were okay until I was old enough to be aware of fashion etc. I looked very different from everyone in my peer group. Teachers were snotty about my clothes and grroming too, which didn't help.

I definitely got on better with some siblings!

Discipline was just stay quiet, don't eat too much, etc. I never had anyone worrying about my schoolwork or marks, for instance. That made me very self-motivated, which has been good for me.

I have no idea why they had so many kids.

The hardest part about growing up was having people get mad at me for doing normal kid things like eating, using hot water.

The easiest thing was always having someone to play with.

It was also really lovely to be so involved with raising my little brothers. It made us really close.

Oh and just saw above: what did I do for downtime and quiet? Went out in nature,explored in the woods by myself. When I was older I spent a lot of time in the library!

I think they were irresponsible insofar as it was just assumed that the elder children would "help out" in terms of raising the younger ones.

At the time I didn't mind and it did make me close to the little ones.

It's only in retrospect that I realise that meant a huge amount of my time and energy throughout my childhood was spent looking after someone else's children, when I could have been studying, doing gymnastics or whatever, or even spending time with friends.

Have your parents been able to help any of you out financially? Were any or most of you able to attend university or was the cost too great?

No that was out of the question.

I got scholarships but no one else went to uni.