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AMA
Original poster

I have been a surrogate... AMA.

42 replies

Beebeezed · 17/10/2019 20:58

I did this for an acquaintance (well, she was at the time, we are now very very good friends)
I do see the child now, she is not yet old enough to understand everything but does occasionally refer to me as ‘Tummy mummy’
I have now gone on to have my own child.
Ask me anything!

OP posts:
Jellybeansincognito · 18/10/2019 20:10

How was the birth? If natural- was it awkward for you having both the mum and dad with you?

IsAStormApproaching · 18/10/2019 20:20

If you where working prior to surrogacy - how long did you take off work after having the baby?
And do you feel like your work supported you during the pregnacy and after the birth?

IsAStormApproaching · 18/10/2019 20:22

Ps. I must add you seem like a wonderful person. And I am so happy you have a good bond with the baby's family Smile

Original poster
Beebeezed · 18/10/2019 21:57

How was the birth? If natural- was it awkward for you having both the mum and dad with you?
Can I be honest? Yes. I was awkward. I knew the mum much better than than the dad. I’ve never told anyone irl before but I did feel uncomfortable. They both wanted to see their daughter enter the world.... if you see what I mean! I can laugh about it now but yes I did feel strange

OP posts:
Original poster
Beebeezed · 18/10/2019 22:00

If you where working prior to surrogacy - how long did you take off work after having the baby?
And do you feel like your work supported you during the pregnacy and after the birth?
My work was crap to be honest. I needed time off to heal physically and emotionally but they couldn’t understand it as it wasn’t maternity leave, I’ve since left the company. My colleagues were hesitant at first with regards to my surrogacy but eventually accepted and supported and I’m still friends with them now and they all love the little cherub and her family.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beebeezed · 18/10/2019 22:01

Sorry - I took two weeks off before birth and Two weeks off after birth

OP posts:
Jellybeansincognito · 18/10/2019 23:29

Of course you can be honest!

It’s an amazing gift you have given someone, I have fleeting moments of thinking I’d love to do this for somebody but the first thing that comes into my mind is what end they’d want to be at and how I’d have to respect their wishes, rather than my own.

Sparklemummyx0x0x · 19/10/2019 23:24

Were they both involved in the appointments and scans?

What was the situation after birth? Did the baby go with them soon after or did you sit and chat?

How involved were their families. Was the situation strange or awkward with them and were they supportive? Did you meet with them?

Might be a stupid question. Can I ask about the birth certificate? Because the child is biological theirs is it still the same as if she gave birth to her?

DariaMorgendorffer · 19/10/2019 23:36

No questions, just want to say I think you're amazing op Thanks

Original poster
Beebeezed · 21/10/2019 14:29

Were they both involved in the appointments and scans

Yes, very much so. They wanted to be at every appointment, which was fine by me.

What was the situation after birth? Did the baby go with them soon after or did you sit and chat?
After standards checks and tests on baby and I, they took her home and I went home with my mum.

How involved were their families. Was the situation strange or awkward with them and were they supportive? Did you meet with them?
The grandparents were slightly dubious at the beginning, because of what the mother and father had been through already they were worried something else could happen. (E.g I change my mind last minute) they were particularly worried about the mothers mental health in the event of things not going to plan. Once they’d all met me a few times and realised how serious I was, they were a bit more relaxed. Although, I feel that none of them were 100% comfortable until their baby girl was home, which I understand.

Might be a stupid question. Can I ask about the birth certificate? Because the child is biological theirs is it still the same as if she gave birth to her?
So legally I was the mother, and because I was single at the time the baby’s father was the legal father. They then changed this once all was settled with the new arrival. I think you have 6 months to change it.

OP posts:
NavyBerry · 23/10/2019 11:03

Did you have a legal right to keep the baby (leaving the moral side aside)?

Daffodil2018 · 23/10/2019 11:10

Were there any moments during pregnancy or labour where you thought you couldn't go through with giving the baby to her parents?

Just after you'd given birth did you feel an urge to hold the baby?

Original poster
Beebeezed · 24/10/2019 20:58

Did you have a legal right to keep the baby (leaving the moral side aside)?
The baby is not related to me in anyway, so as far as I’m aware...no. There may be a loop hole in this during the time I was registered mother on the birth certificate but I never looked into it 😊

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 25/10/2019 01:54

I have to say I’m Shock that you did this for a first baby. Did you worry about how dangerous pregnancy and childbirth can be? Did you think about the potential for complications or just sort of hoped it would all be positive?

Whomei · 25/10/2019 02:10

Did you feel a lot of pressure considering what they had been through? As there's no guarantee with any pregnancy, what if you miscarried? Do you think that would've been it, or would you have kept trying for them?

OldAndWornOut · 25/10/2019 02:18

I hope this isn't inappropriate, but did you discuss what would happen if the baby had been born with a disability?
Also, do you have some kind of legal document drawn up before you go ahead with the pregnancy?

Methyl · 25/10/2019 02:22

Did you breastfeed her? Or provide colostrum/milk?

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