I am an ex Jehovah's witness. AMA

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Not sure if this will be of interest to anyone! As per the title I am an ex Jehovah's witness that had been disfellowshipped from the religion. AMA

It’s because eve tempted Adam and as a result all women are inferior to men.

That’s why we have periods too.

I think that was answered ^thread doddle pagan festival

Oh gosh things are flooding back here!

The vultures would pick the bones of the unbelievers...

I need to go make a coffee and recentre myself a bit here.

@doodlejump1980 Anything to do with any other religion is wrong, works of the Devil. So Christmas songs are unacceptable to them and they wouldn't participate

@RJnomore1 so it wasn't just me who was told this! You probably blocked it out, I know it scared me for ages!

RJ thanks for sharing that

How awful to treat dc this way . Yes, its abuse to raise dc with threats like this. I know its brainwashing and many believe it, sadly, but they are under the abuse and being abused also,and thats how it works.

What a shame they rush away from anyone prepared to doorstep challenge them, which would be many I imagine!

@ZenNudist yes, you're not real Christians.(to them)

@Rainbowknickers
I’d you grew up a JW I’m not sure why you were so surprised. I don’t think transgender was a thing when I was in the organisation but I’m pretty sure what the view of that would be. They don’t tolerate any deviation at all from their norms. They are like frightened cattle watching out for predators.

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The vulture thing is horrific . I was never told that but it doesn’t surprise me.

I had a friend in secondary school who was a JW but we drifted apart once we left as I think my life as a typical late teen didn't go down too well with her parents. I always wondered how she felt when we were all at birthday parties and Christmas discos.

I read an article a few weeks back about why they stand in the street/go door to door. One of the reasons was to encourage a tribe mentality. Because they'd encounter people challenging them, blatantly ignoring and questioning their beliefs it made them feel safe in their "tribe" and promoted the sense that non believers and worldly people were not good people. It actively discourages contact with those outside the faith because they're coming across people who view them negatively and that makes them cling more to the tribe because that's where they feel safe and have the same ideals.

Yep. Frightened cattle.

I have a friend who's a jw. Lovely woman with 2 children. I do worry about the children though. Not so much the girl who's 16- she just seems so happy with it all and unquestioning so she'll probably go along with it all her life and be happy enough. They have a great community and all seem very kind. It's the boy. He's 13 and although he says all the "right" things he seems confused. His mother has told him he will be the head of the household at 16 as his dad is dead. He has admitted to my son that there is a possibility that the religion isn't telling him the truth. He knows that his mum would be more than disappointed if he came out of the religion. I don't see that he can come away from it in his circumstances but I believe he will when he moves out, and what sort of damage will have been caused to their relationship? Other things that shock me are that she told him he absolutely cannot masturbate under any circumstances. Don't know why this made me feel so sad but I guess it's that "mind control' over the kids who think God is watching their every move. As I said the girl seems so on board with it all but the boy not so much.
Sorry for rambling on! What I'm really asking is do you resent your parents for bringing you up in this way and what's your relationship like with them now?

have a friend who's a jw. Lovely woman with 2 children. I do worry about the children though. Not so much the girl who's 16

Why would you not worry for her. She's in a cult, whether she's totally deluded by it or starting to question it like her brother.

Anything abusive harms the child and the relationship with their parents. If not now then later. How will it be when she grows up and rwalises all the horrific stuff her parents have done in indoctrinating her this way? Its likely to completely destroy her trust in them (whether your friend is 'lovely' or not, she's part of the problem until she questions it herself, being dominated and controlled by men).

Masturbation is a complete no no. It causes a lot of guilt and shame and confused feelings. People tend to marry very young to have some sort of sexual outlet. Considering that dating is not really on, it tends to be meetings with the intended with a chaperone, there is little chance of really getting to know one another. Then two virgins with absolutely no sexual experience fumbling around. In the missionary position. Divorce is utterly shameful so if it doesn’t work out, they are stuck with each other. No counselling as it’s ‘worldly’.

Just to add, my question might have been too personal OP, so I'd understand if you felt it a step too far as it relates to your personal reasons for realising you needed to leave and so on.

@smotheroffive thank you for your lovely post.

I try not to feel bitter and too angry becuase I already gave that cult years of my life, I don't want to give it anymore.

One of the things that really got to me was the constant changing of beliefs and 'New light' that the organisation had to suit when things weren't happening as they had said. We were constantly told that Armageddon was round the corner. My grandparents were told that my mother wouldn't go to secondary school as Armageddon would come beforethen. Yet her youngest child is now 30 and she is approaching 60.

They have no tolerance for anyone that is different. You have to live your life exactly as they instruct. There was one occasion when someone quite close to me had a nervous breakdown due to treatment of the elders and it changed them forever. Unfortunately they are still in the cult but it really made me see how disgustingly they treated them when they had done nothing wrong to the point that this person was suicidal.

"Smother* I really think of you don't question and you believe this all forever, you can have a lovely life. The girl has some ASN and I think that this will be ok for her - a ready made community to look after her and they are genuinely good, if deluded, people. The boy is a thinker. He won't always believe this I'm sure. I'm not being sexist, I'm taking about personalities.

@issano regarding why the window cleaner might mot have known she was shunned it could be a number of reasons. One could be that he was in a different congregation so might not have been told especially if she hadn't been disfellowshiped and simply drifted away.
One of the other things could be that he might have been embarrassed to shun her in front of non Jehovah witnesses. A lot of JWs, even though they go along with the shunning don't actually agree with it.

I have a terrible relationship with my parents. I’ve had to be careful of the access they had to my children growing up too which is not the life I would have wanted. I feel robbed in a way, I have no relationship with any of the rest of my family as only my parents were JW so they disapproved of the rest and restricted my contact to the point I have no relationship. I tried not to do that with my own kids and my parents but it’s not been great.

I’ve never spoken about this to anyone, not even my dh of 20 years, but my dad is/was an elder and sat on judicial committees. He’s also a pretty horrible arrogant man and I remember late teens I knew he was on one where a young girl complained another elder had molested her. She wasn’t believed, I remember my mother saying about the awful family she was part of and the poor girl being such a liar and needed psychiatric help. It was never passed to the police.

About three years ago I took my parents the news story of the elder being jailed for child abuse after the now adult girl plucked up the courage to go to the police. That was not an easy afternoon. Realising your parents, albeit unwittingly, collided in protecting a child abuser due to their own stupidity and arrogance.

@RoseQuartzGlow yes to the awful sex life! I remember when I was in one of my young girlfriends who had gotten married at 18 confessed to me that her husband was awful at sex and she couldn't stand it. They have no idea what they are doing and a lot of them get married just to have sex.

@ZenNudist Jehovah's witnesses view all other religions as false religion. They believe that only their religion is the one true religion and at Armageddon all others not serving Jehovah will be destroyed

As a child - how do you feel about birthdays and Christmas?

A little girl in one of DCs class is a JW. Lovely child, as is her older brother and the whole family are very friendly.

But I was recently in helping make some Christmas decorations to sell at a PA event soon.

She saw the Christmas stuff on the table she was meant to sit at and really panicked like "Miss! I don't celebrate Christmas"

We had made that table a winter decoration table so she could join in. But she still seemed unhappy.

I felt quite worried we'd caused her some distress - would she think she'd be in trouble somehow from celebrating? With parents? With God?

It's hard as I'm all up for my DC to make decorations for other religions as a part of learning. We're atheist but I want them to have knowledge of everything they can.

Would love some insight for future please. X

@RoseQuartzGlow and @RJnomore1 I don't remember hearing anything about vultures picking bones of unbelievers but that doesn't surprise me. It's awful!! And to teach young children That!

@doodlejump1980 all things related to a pagan festival wouldn't be allowed. Therefore songs like jingle bells are a big no no.
That's one of the reasons I love Xmas songs so much! As soon as 1sr December hits I put a Xmas playlist on my Spotify!