I am an ex Jehovah's witness. AMA

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Not sure if this will be of interest to anyone! As per the title I am an ex Jehovah's witness that had been disfellowshipped from the religion. AMA

There were lots of people that wanted to join and some of these would be from the preaching work door to door. A lot of baptisms happening at every convention. However they don't record the number of people leaving which I would imagine is a large amount. I know lots of people that have left and never gone back

It's really sad to say this but a lot of the people that i knew that studied with the witnesses and then got baptised were really vulnerable in one way or another e.g. learning disabilities, lonely, those with difficult backgrounds and hard lifes. It was like they preyed on them as they would be easy to convert

And OP I too am sorry for the lack of support you received from your parents. That's v sad!

I personally don't speak another language but a lot of people I knew did so they could preach to people in their own language. My dad learnt a language as they had a foreign language group of Jehovah's witnesses in the area we lived in at that time

You are a very brave woman. Being defellowshipped and shunned by all those who knew you and said they loved you is incredibly hard. Make sure that you are getting as much support as possible there are various groups out there that can help and support you. Good luck OP

@helparguement was your mum baptised or did she just go to the meetings? I am really surprised that she did Christmas and birthdays for you as I believe that would be a potential disfellowshipping if that was known in the congregation and elders. It is taught that it is not optional about whether you could celebrate it or not. But I'm glad your mum never treated you differently and that they were very supportive at such a difficult time

No official ex-Jehovah's witness community as such but there are a lot of online forums and Facebook. I talk a lot to my brother and sister which helps to come to terms with it all. I also did see a therapist a bit a few years ago which did help but I can't afford this atm unfortantly. Hopefully I can start this again one day as it did help to talk to someone

I have a JW family member. They still socialise with all of us even though we're not JW. Is this not allowed then?

I am also a fellow escapee. There was a website years ago which I read about for ex JWs. Don’t know if it still exists.Myself and siblings all left. My mother has been a JW for over 50 years. All my mothers friends are JW.
It has had a very bad effect on me and our family. We never got any presents during our childhood or any parties or celebrations. I left at 14. I think it’s an evil organisation run by men. Women are treated as second class citizens with no autonomy. It’s very old fashioned.
I would agree with the poster who said they prey on the vulnerable and lonely. Many of their converts are immigrants who are desperate for a community.

Thank you @helparguement and @HerkyBaby. I don't always feel very brave but I sometimes can't believe I've actually left!
I have made some great friends since leaving and I now realise these are true friendships unlike the ones in the religion that were conditional.

JWs are encouraged strongly not to associate with ‘wordly’ People for fear of being contaminated.

Yes, she was baptised.

Maybe because she was recruited on her own they accepted she had a family - I'm not sure.

I find that very strange too. It would be considered a grave sin.

Helparguement, you needn’t have worried about your mum preventing you having a blood transfusion as a child. Your doctor would just have arranged for you to be made a ward of court in order for the transfusion to be carried out regardless.
I only know of one case where the parents refused to have their child back afterwards, and it had to be adopted.
As an adult with capacity, you are the only person who can consent to or refuse medical treatment - it’s not up to the next of kin. And if you’re unconscious and it’s an emergency, you’d be given any life saving treatment automatically.
I have always regarded the JWs as a cult. They have all the usual features of isolation and brainwashing, banning contact with non believers etc. And they seem so joyless, compared to mainstream Christianity, where we celebrate the love of God with Christmas services, nativity plays, presents, etc. Jesus said that He has prepared a place for all of us in Heaven, not just a select bunch of JWs!

@Ludos It would be a bit different as you are family and I am assuming have never been a Jehovah's witness so you have not been disfellowshipped so therefore they can talk to you. Some Jehovah's witnesses that are a lot more hard-core wouldn't even socialise with anyone not in the religion, not even family. Some are a little more relaxed about that but they are taught that non believers are thought to be bad associations

This is really interesting as I recently came into contact with a couple of ex-Plymouth Brethren. It sounds like a similar experience - once you are 'out' you lose contact with parents/spouse/children.
I'm staggered these 'churches' are allowed to exist given the way they abuse people - PBs are 'shut up' - confined to their homes or just a room - while being investigated for 'wrong-doing'. Bullied. No chance of arguing their case. It is classic narcissist control. Very sad. And lots of good people going along with it because it's 'what they know'.

@RoseQuartzGlow I am sorry it has had such a bad effect on you.
I agree, very old fashioned. The men rule and women must follow.. the fact that women can't be an elder or ministerial servant says it all

@Babdoc it definitely is a cult! They preach love but they shun their own children when they choose a different way of life

Yes my mother is unable to have a conversation with her grandchildren that doesn’t involve ‘witnessing’. She is very judgemental and has been downright nasty to my DD calling her a whore because she has a boyfriend. I find it really hard to cope with. I cannot wait to burn all the literature when she dies.

My experience was very similar to @helparguement’s. My mum didn’t celebrate birthdays or Christmas but there were gifts on random days throughout the year. She most definitely didn’t cut me off when I left, in fact she was my best friend.

The Witnesses were very kind to me when Mum died. I don’t regard myself as an escapee, I felt no need to escape. There have been various well meaning attempts to persuade me to return but no pressure at all.

To be honest, I think they’re decent, sincere people and it saddens me when I hear people running them down. Especially when they know so little about them.

My friend was a JW and looking back I think she was pressured into confessing more than was appropriate about her relationships with boyfriends in front of elders. Did anything like that happen to you or were you aware of it?

Genuine question. Do you think JW is a religion or a cult? I think the latter for many reasons but willing to be educated.

Sorry, should have read the thread!

Maybe she just never told them then.
She just kept it very separate from us while we all lived in the same house.

When discussing the funeral with them I was just clear that they did what they needed to do to tick whatever boxes they needed to tick & I had the opportunity to remember the person that was my mum.

They were holding their own memorial for her anyway I think but like I say they were v kind & accommodating.

What is likely to happen if a JW (whose whole family are JW's ) decides to leave and stop attending meeting etc .?

@Alsohuman I am glad you have had such a good relationship with your mother since you left.
I don't want to be nasry but I've actually taken offense at that remark "Especially when they know so little about them." I grew up in the religion for 23 years of my life. I am a fourth generation Jehovah'switness on my mum's side and third on my dad's side. My dad was an elder and my mum a pioneer. I know A LOT about Jehovah's witnesses. I appreciate your view and experience may be different but due to that religion I lost all my friends and the majority of my family. I have serious depression due to how I was treated. And you cannot question what I and many others have gone through.