I'm a midwife AMA

[Jemima232]

Community Midwife with four children of my own.

Also worked as an Independent Midwife.

Breastfeeding Counsellor and Sleep Consultant.

Thanks @Jemima232. He's all pleased with himself. Think he's considering a change of career lots of baby gifts from people saying f stuff like "daddy is my hero" I mean I only birth the child

@tisonlymeagain

Aha. Maybe it's a local policy, then. Not where I work - and I did have a look online and couldn't find anything.

@Thenameisweasley

Yes. You only had to go through labour. Obviously your DH deserves a medal but did he ruin the bath towels in the process of delivering your baby in the bathroom

So glad I've found this thread (& you @Jemima232)

I'm 10+3 with my first baby, had 2 MCs previously, one at 8 weeks in Nov 2018 and one in May 2017 at 13+5. I had an anti d jab with the first mc but not second.
Midwife called on Friday saying they've found antibodies in my blood and I'm Rhesus negative. I'm having further tests today but am so anxious. She was quite dismissive and abrupt on the phone (probably had loads to do!) so didn't really put my mind at rest.
So my questions are:
What would happen if antibodies are present in my blood? Is it just the anti d jab or would I have to go down the blood transfusion route? What could happen to my baby?

@Bentley111

I'm sorry your midwife was abrupt with you - that isn't acceptable at all.

It isn't unusual for women who are Rh Negative to have antibodies in their blood.

It is possible to find out the blood group of the baby nowadays. There will also be additional tests done at various stages of the pregnancy to make sure that your baby isn't being affected (most babies aren't.)

The problem can be that they baby becomes severely anaemic but this is pretty rare, so I wouldn't be very anxious about this at all.

Very occasionally, babies need blood transfusions while still in the uterus, or need to be delivered early. When are you seeing the consultant next? It would be better to discuss this with her/him, or find a more approachable midwife who has your notes to hand.

There's a lot of information about this online and here's one link for you.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/rhesus-disease/diagnosis/

@daisydoooo

Rapid labours

Personally I would advise you to book a home birth. You could ask for induction (and since induction is performed for very spurious reasons sometimes you may have your request accepted.)

or you could get Thenameisweasley's DH to pop round and deliver you on your bathroom floor

Can I ask a very silly question ?

I've had a couple of mc before including one at 14 weeks as baby didn't grow properly (measured 3 weeks behind but maintained a good heartbeat throughout then stopped suddenly at 14 weeks). I didn't really feel listened to at the time as people kept saying I had my dates wrong (impossible as dh was out of the country) and then that baby must be just a 'small person' 🧐.

Now I am 38 weeks and so far everything looks great. Baby does have a day every 3-4 days where she is exceptionally lazy and does very little moving but I generally give her a poke and stuff to get her wriggling.

My worry is that all through my pregnancy I've been told I measure big fundus to pubis. I think however I'm just a bit chunky (bmi 30). I worry baby is actually going to be very small and no one has picked up on this. My family (mother and sisters) have all had small babies (around 5-6 pounds). She just doesn't seem huge from what I'm feeling and I guess I am full of anxiety from the past pregnancies and now just waiting for something to go wrong. Am I just worrying for no reason?

I've thrown myself into preparing her nursery and getting everything ready and often talk about plans for the future with family etc but I can't see myself bringing home a baby. I know that sounds ridiculous as I'm huge and can feel her wriggling about but I just don't see it. I'm petrified something will happen at birth and she won't make it.

I've mentioned all this to midwife and she said that it's normal not to be able to imagine having a baby and that I should try not to worry and enjoy my last couple of free weeks. I should say she also told me I'd be early as she can now only feel 2/5 of babies head?

Sorry I know this post was massive. I really appreciate you taking the time to answer all of these posts and think you do a great job :-)

@URtopost

Worrying if the baby will survive

Your feelings are completely normal - and related to your miscarriages, by the sound of things.

I think all women do worry that there will be something wrong with the baby. We all know that there are no guarantees.

If your baby was smaller than average it wouldn't matter, really. It's prematurity that would be a cause for concern and that no longer applies in your case as you're 38 weeks.

I'm a bit surprised that your MW has told you the baby won't be overdue based on the fact that the head is engaged. It's your first full-term pregnancy so the head would be expected to be engaged at this point.

If you think your daughter isn't moving as much you must phone triage and I say that to all women, every time. Never ignore your instincts. It doesn't matter what time of day or night it is, please get advice.

But going back to worrying that you won't be bringing a baby home -it really is something we all worry about. I certainly did. It reminds me of the old days, when nobody bought a pram prior to the baby's arrival, as it was considered to be tempting fate. And there is nothing I can say which can rationalise this feeling for you, except perhaps to say that you're not alone and that it isn't a silly question at all. You've lost two babies and you think this baby might be small because the women in your family have small babies. There are enough reasons there to explain why you're feeling the way you do.

When people have examined your abdomen and felt for the baby's position, they can also feel whether or not this feels like a smaller-than-average baby. The important thing is to check whether the fundus keeps getting higher as the pregnancy progresses and I assume that yours has.

Yes, you may be right and have a smallish baby in there - but maybe I can put this in context for you. My own fourth baby was born at 35 weeks and weighed 7lb. Because he was premature he had trouble with jaundice and feeding. The fact that he weighed 7lb was immaterial. You're 38 weeks now so even if your baby is on the small side she is still full term.

Sorry. I seem to have waffled through that answer. Please come back and tell us what your baby weighed (and at what gestation you delivered.)

I hope with all my heart that everything goes well for you.

This may be a silly question, but is there anything in particular that causes shoulder dystocia? And what are the problems with it? My 8lb4oz baby suffered shoulder dystocia but I didn’t actually know this until 6 hours after the birth. I am fine but I go through phases of panic about not knowing what happened or why. My first labour was completely normal. Both labours were exceptionally quick (2hours second labour). We are both fine and suffered no side effects but I scared myself silly googling it. I am of a healthy BMI and had water births if it makes a difference? I was 2 weeks overdue.

@Jemima232 thank you that's very reassuring :-) I don't know why she said I'd deliver early either. Everyone has said it all the way through to me and now I'm very uncomfortable and annoyed it hasn't happened 😂🙈

No problem. He's going to start charging for his services though. He wants to know what the boiling water in call the midwife is all about, he gets the towels but not the hot water!!

Hi!

I'm just over 38 weeks and have been referred to hospital for high fetal hr. I had monitoring done for about an hour and they said average HR was 156 (although she was still reaching 210bpm at times). They said I have tachycardia and this could cause baby to have a high hr.

They also said I have high Hb that hadn't been picked up after my 28 week bloods. The midwife said this meant I would need to see the consultant in clinic.

Because I didn't have symptoms (nausea etc) they said I could go home but have to come back to clinic on Monday. I'm now at home and have some lower back pain and what I would describe as period type pain? It's not bad just noticeable.

Any ideas what's going on? I'm trying not to worry but this is first baby so I am a little bit 🙈 don't want to waste their time going back when they've told me all is well.

OhMyGiddyAunty

There is nothing missing, hormone-wise, which is stopping you going into labour spontaneously.
*
My DS1 labour didn't start until 42 +4 weeks.

At what point and for what reason were you induced three times?*

^^
I just didn't go into labour. With DC1 (40+13) they said the placenta was showing signs of age so it was right to have induced me.

DCs 2&3 induced at similar times, with DC3 my waters broke but still no labour after 24hrs.

I was induced with waters being broken, on the drip with all 3. Prosthin (sp?) with #1 but not the others as DC1 required a crash section (failed induction/foetal distress).

Seriously, do I just not have the hormones for labour?

In your experience if your first baby was a virginal delivery what are the odds of the second baby also being virginal? I tried to google this today but with no luck.

@coldcottage if a baby is whooshing out of the exit I'd say the chances of it being a virginal delivery are slim, shall we say.

@OhMyGuddyAunt

It sounds like there was an element of disproportion between your babies' heads and your pelvis. Your babies were probably OP which would have stopped them from engaging in the pelvis.

Therefore labour would not start. I had the same problem. Your saying that after your waters breaking, no labour commenced, is a dead giveaway.

Was baby number three (the crash section) bigger than the first two? If so that would definitely suggest that your pelvis is a tight fit.

@ColdCottage

You are definitely more likely to have your second baby vaginally if the first delivery was normal, unless there are other complications.

@Jemima232 thanks. That's good to know.

Thanks @Jemima, that's really interesting.

@MamaDane I felt like this. Don't worry at all. It's the most common thing in the world to grow a baby but equally it's an amazing feat every time and so personal to everyone.

I didn't feel like my first baby was real until the placed him on me despite lots of extra scans. Please don't worry yourself about this.

Equally with number 2 on the way. When I'm busy I forget I'm pregnant. It's only when I sit still and feel them move I remember sometimes and I'm 28 weeks now.

I think lots of mums don't feel an instant connection either before or even after birth. You want to protect them but that big love can take a while. After all it's new relationship. I have a wonderful loving relationship with my son. I'm sure you will too with the twins.

@Hothotcoldhot

Have you had your baby yet?

@URtopost

How are things going? Any sign of the baby?

Nope 🤦🏻‍♀️ Having an induction tomorrow now as keep having reduced movement even though everything looks fine!

@Hothotcoldhot

Oh Boy.

You'll be seeing your baby soon. If you have the time and inclination please let us know how things go.

Wishing you well.

@Jemima232 yes I will :-) I'm quite nervous tbh! Worried it will take a long time :-/ I'm already 3cm dilated though so midwife said that's a good start? It's my sisters 21st at the weekend and my mum is my birthing partner and I really don't want her to have to miss my sisters party 🤦🏻‍♀️ I know that sounds daft haha mum has already said she doesn't mind missing it but I'd feel guilty!

hello, I'm 9 weeks need a bit of advice as I have a scan tomrrow. so yesterday at three I started to bleed lightly and was a light pink. it got a bit heavy but not much. round about half 7 ish I passed a clot it was smaller then a 50p the blood went light round about 8pm yesterday it fully stopped and I've had nothing ever since. anything this could be as someone in my family just lost their baby at 9 weeks but had big clots and loads of pain and boos so not sure what happend to me.