I'm a midwife AMA

[Jemima232]

Community Midwife with four children of my own.

Also worked as an Independent Midwife.

Breastfeeding Counsellor and Sleep Consultant.

Hi Jemima

I was induced due to GD at 37.5 weeks which meant a hospital birth which I would have preferred to avoid.

What struck me was how little care I received.

I was in at 8am, propess inserted at 10am, there all day, then overnight and there was no food provided for lunch or dinner. I asked each meal and was told they would check but then was forgotten, I asked several times and ended up at the hospital shop buying sandwiches.

The next day everyone was too busy till after lunch (which I bought from the shop again) to check my progress, then at 1pm a very quick check, waters were manually broken, belt monitor and BP cuff for 20 mins then I was left to it on the ward.

About 6pm I called out to the MW at the end of the ward that i needed to push, she said baby had just moved and she'd be with me in a bit, I said I couldn't wait at which point she huffed and sighed her way over, looked, realised I was crowning and ran to the corridor shouting for help to get me to a delivery room. 1 push and she was out.

Afterwards when I had my feet up being stitched there was a constant parade of staff members wandering in and out of the room for a chat about their plans for the weekends.

I had a quick shower then me and DH were directed to the post natal ward and made our own way pushing DD in the bassinet, I was pointed at a bed and that was that. No food again, a while later I got a coffee from the lady with the trolley, by that point I was starving so was raising my handbag for snacks, DH went and got me another sandwich and then I sent him home.

Other women had their partners on the ward all night and the MWs/nurses were frequently pulling the curtains back around my bed, glancing in and then dashing off so I was flashing random men while trying to breastfeed and having to climb on and off the bed to close the curtains.

Next morning I was directed to a kitchen to make myself toast or grab a yoghurt from the fridge, when asked when I can leave I was told ' whenever is fine' so I bundled DD into her car seat called a taxi and wandered off, no sign out or official discharge.

It all just felt very uncaring and dismissive.

Was it just a bad hospital or is this what we should expect with hospital delivery? Or are my expectations wrong?

I've kind of got a few questions

First, if I had an episiotomy with my first, if I have to have another will they cut In the same place (towards my right leg) or cut in a different place?

Second, I had retained products and a PPH with my first, if I got an elective section would they make sure all my placenta and membranes came away whilst I was in theatre? Or would they take my placenta, stitch me up and wait for signs things were retained? (pretty much what they did for my vaginal, I was only rushed for removal under GA 2-3hrs after I'd given birth and had fainted)

I know it sounds like a stupid question!

Third, can you tell me why there's no information given to pregnant women on a pudendal block? I had one during a ventouse with episiotomy, but I wasn't told anything about it before hand.

@Lwmommy

Lack of Care

If you go to Page 12 of this thread and see my reply to BintyBuntyFintyCunty you will see that her story is very similar to yours. I think her actual post was on the page before.

Your story echoes what so women on this thread have highlighted - left alone, not fed, not given pain relief and not believed when they said they were in pain or wanted to push.

I do not think your expectations were too high, and I would ask to see the senior midwife in charge so that you can go through everything with her and complain about the very sub-standard care you received.

@duebaby2

None of your questions are silly

Episiotomy

If you had another it would be in the same place as the first one. Many women do not tear or have an episiotomy in a second and subsequent birth so you may end up with no stitches this time.

Retained Placenta & CS

The placenta is always examined very carefully after any delivery.

However it is possible that small pieces can be left behind, especially little bits of membranes. This can happen also when you have a CS. Sometimes it isn't possible to be sure that the whole thing is complete.

Pudendal Nerve Block

This is usually covered in ante-natal education but since one in three woman now have epidurals, and as a pudendal nerve block is only done in the event of your having either forceps or a ventouse, when you haven't got an epidural in place, (and is not helpful for pain relief earlier in labour) perhaps it isn't mentioned enough.

There's a link on the page before which gives a lot of information about PPH.

Ah ok, that's interesting to know. Hopefully if I don't have another sunny side up baby then hopefully I can birth a second baby normally without the need of ventouse or episiotomy.

Last question, if my first was 6hrs from first contraction to fully dilated, how much faster is a second labour likely to be? Or will be the same? I've heard a lot of people say second babies come quicker

@duebaby2

Second babies do tend to come much more quickly but there is no way to predict this accurately, in terms of hours.

Are you booked at the MLU?

I always wondered what happens if you go into labour and you have norovirus as that's really catchy do you have to take special precautions etc?x

@anitagreen

Aha - are you thinking of Thenameisweasley and her imminent labour?

Hospitals are already full of norovirus and staff take precautions with all patients.

It wouldn't be nice for the woman in labour, though.

@duebaby2

Women who have had forceps/ventouse deliveries the first time round rarely need them the second time, even if the baby is OP again.

No idea I think so, I'm only 10 weeks. I am being consultant and midwife led. I'm all over the show between a midwife, obstetrics - think this is my consultant appointments, fetal medicine - don't know if that links in with obstetrics and ultrasound.

I knew it would never been a straight forward second pregnancy but I didn't realise just how busy it would be.

Thanks for a reply!
based on your answer - if you had haemorrhaged badly after a baby (surgery etc after too with massive tears),would you consider it safe to have another (personally not off stats)?

I desperately want another baby, but not at the risk of my life and leaving my child without its mother

This is probably a really daft question but oh well. I had a crash forceps delivery as baby was OP and no one knew (). Anyway as the consultant was stitching me up she asked me what size feet I had - I am a size 2. She said it was a tight fit in there and it was lucky DD was 7lb because I'd struggle to push out any bigger. Is a correlation with foot size or even just a "tight fit" a thing? I don't know if she meant pelvis size or.. womb? I feel daft saying it! I just don't want to get ripped to shreds if I have another baby

@carly2803

Personally, I would go for it.

I never expect anything to go wrong. I (personally) have always had the attitude that complications can happen, but I trust in midwives and doctors to deal with anything that comes their way.

The obstetric text-book from which I was taught might just as well have had and Jemima, most of these things will happen to you personally on the front cover.

I have a very positive attitude.

I was happy with my birth overall but I do have a few questions. I was induced and nothing was happening so waters were broken and then suddenly everything went out of control and I was violently sick, got dehydrated, ended up on a drip and had to take antibiotics which meant so did baby. DH said my eyes were also rolling about and I wasn't on labour ward but have seen this happen on one born and the Emma Willis programme and it happens on labour wards and they're offered pain relief. I was begging for something and got told I could only have paracetamol. Was this wrong? When I got onto labour wars eventually the midwife was amazing but that interim bit was awful and scary

@LashesZ

Having feet which are size 3 or smaller indicates that your pelvis is similarly smaller than the average woman's.

And "tight fit" is definitely a thing. The female pelvis comes in various shapes and sizes (and I had to learn the diameters between loads of landmarks on them as a student midwife.)

It is experience, as midwives and obstetricians, which teaches us how to judge if a particular baby will get out of a particular pelvis.

So much depends on position of the baby's head, and which bit of it is where at any given time.

The head should be flexed and become more flexed as labour progresses.

@LashesZ

Tight fit refers to the bones in your pelvis, not your actual womb.

@frillseeking

Paracetamol in Labour

………..is a joke.

There are quite a lot of posts about this and @Prequelle, who is both an expectant mother and a pain relief nurse specialist, has commented.

I'm not sure of the exact pages where this subject comes up, but I said then (and I repeat) that paracetamol is not a suitable painkiller for the pain of labour, and its use seems to be creeping into many units now

Part of a midwife's job is to meet the needs of her patient with regard to adequate pain relief. And paracetamol is inadequate.

I hope you complained to the senior midwife and made her aware of this. There is no reason why gas and air cannot be given - or pethidine.

I didn't jemima232 as I was just relieved it was all over and to have a healthy baby but it has crossed my mind. The senior midwife wasn't very happy when she took over and said I was in a state of trauma. Luckily once I had an epidural everything calmed down again and the senior midwife was just amazing and got everything back under control very quickly. I guess it just all seems unnecessary to me that I had to escalate that quickly into that state and I've always felt it could have even avoided

I have size 3 feet and my last baby was 8lb9! No intervention or anything required. So small feet doesn't mean you will definitely be a tight fit!

@IVEgottheDECAF

You're quite right. It doesn't necessarily follow that women with size 3 feet will have a small pelvis. I ought to have made that clearer.

My friend, who is 4 ft 11 in had a baby who weighed 9 lb.

It's cool guys I haven't been sick from 6pm last night and have eaten toast successfully - panic over!! (Thank F!!)

Thenameisweasley

Well, that's VG news.

Now you just need to go into labour again.

No pressure

None at all @Jemima232

Though I'm beginning to think this baby needs a bit of pressure!!

Honestly do midwives judge women who start to panic in labour?