I'm a midwife AMA

[Jemima232]

Community Midwife with four children of my own.

Also worked as an Independent Midwife.

Breastfeeding Counsellor and Sleep Consultant.

@tmh

You are likely to have a bigger baby and another shoulder dystocia.

If you decide to have another baby, an elective LSCS should be offered. If it isn't, request one. I certainly would.

Hats off to you for doing this job! I have had a previous scheduled c section due to placenta previa. I have been given the option to have another one in this pregnancy. I am very unwilling to do a vaginal birth as I know so many of my friends had traumatic births without pain relief or ended up having emergency c sections after labouring. One of them has significant bowel damage and PTSD as a result. I think that I already have the scar, I know what to expect and I’m still intact down there so why risk it. What’s your opinion?

@1stTimeUnicorn

It is highly likely that your first baby was posterior. This can cause a very long labour and maternal exhaustion.

The other scenario is that the induction caused the problems you encountered. Don't get me started on inductions. Your body was forced into a process it was not ready to undergo by itself, so your experience was very long-drawn-out and difficult.

The good news is that if you go into labour yourself this time, and as it is your second baby, your labour should be rapid (anything would be rapid after three days) and you will enjoy it far more than you did the first labour.

I've been called out to countless accidental home births where women are having their second babies after a first labour such as yours.

My very first home birth happened so quickly that as I arrived, I could see the baby's head starting to emerge (woman was on the landing on all fours) and I just had time to catch the baby. Her first contraction had been three hours previously.

I hope it goes better for you this time.

@JudgeRindersMinder

There were a lot of incredibly useful things that I found regarding having one's own children and being a midwife.

The first is understanding how frightened you are of the unknown, even when you've read the textbooks.

The second is discovering how painful labour actually is. It was MUCH more painful than I'd imagined. That gave me perspective.

The third is understanding the transition from woman to mother. Understanding that DC come first, always. That your life will never be the same again, in any shape or form. That being a parent is harder than any career. That being sleep-deprived is an unbearable nightmare. That the joy a child brings is unutterable.

The fourth is understanding breastfeeding. Suffice it to say that I was surprised how tricky it was at first - but because I had been through it and survived, I had a lot of very specialised knowledge at my fingertips.

The fifth is discovering the difficulties of finding good childcare, especially working around impossible shift patterns.

I know many, many wonderful midwives who are childless. But they do not have the experience of baby-rearing, baby-feeding and finding a nursery/childminder/nanny, nor can they appreciate the vast amount of post-natal knowledge which is essential if they are to give advice based on experience.

Lovely informative thread. Thanks for answering our questions with honesty and kindness! My aunt is a midwife and has delivered so many babies that I have my friends' Mums telling me 'oh I know who you are - your aunt delivered my baby and she was so kind and gentle'. Never heard a word said against her. She was my birthing partner. By that stage she was the breastfeeding specialist.

Thank you very much! I can sort of imagine that, I would obviously like it to be quicker second time around and I wonder if my previous experience (lots of trauma and intervention) feels like it was so extreme that i'll end up under estimating how far I am getting along! Luckily we only live a few mins from the hospital (and it's a good one). Thanks for the reassurance.

@Alena

I think I covered vaginismus in my answer about survivors of sexual abuse.

If you're worried about this, please confide in your midwife so that it is known about in advance. She can put a sticker on your notes which no-one other than you and HCPs will understand, so that you get optimum care.

Thanks @Jemima232!

@1stTimeUnicorn

If your DH ends up delivering the baby, there are three things to remember

1. Don't worry - babies that come fast, at home, at term, do very well indeed.

2. DRY THE BABY thoroughly with a soft towel and wrap it in another clean, dry one, keeping the head covered.

3. Don't pull on the cord or try to cut it.

But you'll make it. Probably.

Hi!!! Thank you so much for the work you do.

I have 15 months old and am currently 4 months pregnant.

I still breastfeed my 15 months old and originally wanted to continue up to 2 year. It is getting exhausting but I’m determined to try my best.

My question is, when I give birth the milk content will be different. Would it affect the new baby if I continue to breastfeed my toddler at the same time? How can I go about it? Thinking to pause the breastfeeding for the first week so the new baby gets all the immunity and to pump before for toddler or give him cows milk for a week.

Am I supposed to stop before the colestrum is generated? Like a month or two before giving birth ?

What’s your advice ? I would like to extend as long as possible as far as the new baby isn’t compromised.

Thanks.

Do you ever deter people from opting for elective c-sections? Why do you think it is an uncommon choice if childbirth is horrendously painful and often complicated and dangerous?

@Exitstrategist

I had an EMCS with DD1 (placental abruption - and by way, @asdou I would complain but that's your decision, of course)

……..anyway, I chose to have a VBAC with DS1. He had other ideas. I did end up with another LSCS after a long, obstructed labour.

I always think that you, as the mother, should decide. If YOU want another caesarean, ask for one if it isn't offered.

But if you can have a VBAC and you would like one, give it a go.

I have to say that I'm amazed by the numbers of you thanking me.

Without you, I would have no job, no career, no passion.

IABUQueen

I would actually just let the new baby have the milk you're already producing. Pumping milk when you're juggling a new baby and an outraged toddler is difficult enough, without adding in the faff of expressing.

Your toddler may be surprised by the difference in taste of your milk, though.

Thank you so much. Would my toddler breastfeeding reduce the amount of colostrum the new born gets ? Or is it not a fixed volume and just keeps being produced for 3 days ?

Having to argue with doctors all the time when they refuse home births and force inductions on women who don't need them

I have great respect for midwives but this is a really shitty attitude, it’s just perpetuating the doctors vs midwives myth. In my experience most doctors try really hard not to over-medicalise birth, the advice isn’t given for no reason.

Also in answering some of these questions I think you’re crossing the line between offering general advice/signposting people to further information and actually making statements that you can’t make, based on the information available. Be careful.

Do all women poo during childbirth?

What do you really think of this?

Is there anyway I can stop it happening again? Good dose of laxative pre birth??

@liabet2

The trouble is that the recovery after a caesarean isn't a walk in the park, either.

I must confess that I'm not in favour of women having elective sections with their first babies, unless obstetrically indicated. That's a personal viewpoint, though.

Having had four caesareans myself, I can honestly say that my biggest regret is never having managed to have a normal labour.

I did try to have a VBAC with my middle two children. I laboured for two days with both of them and had emergency caesareans. I was glad to have live healthy babies, but to this day, I still actually dream that I'm in labour and am pushing my baby out myself.

It's an emotive subject. But the post-natal pain is not worth the trade-off, in my personal opinion. I would rather go through labour, every time.

Hi I'm due to be induced in 4 weeks time (at 38 weeks) and the consultant has said I can have sweeps from 37 weeks if I want them. He said the midwives are too gentle but that if he does it himself it will be absolutely horrendous but I'll be in labour within 48 hours. He won't do one at all if I'm not already 1cm dilated as he says it's impossible to do if he can't get a finger through. I want to avoid a long induction if I can simply as I don't want to be away from my 3 year old for longer than necessary and know I'll have to stay in a couple of days afterwards too.
Is he just being a cocky consultant in saying that every sweep he does leads to labour? I coped well with early labour pains with my son but was given a sweep which I didn't consent to but that's another story at 5cm and immediately asked for an epidural as I couldn't cope with the pain from that point, I got the epidural about 5 hours later and the time between was hell. So I'm a bit worried about putting myself through it if it's not likely to do anything.

@pitterpatterbaby

No, not all women poo during birth. Most women don't, actually, as the bowels naturally empty themselves prior to labour, and diarrhoea is quite a good predictor of impending labour.

I wouldn't take laxatives. That would make your poo more runny. If you need to, use a plain glycerine suppository to stimulate a bowel movement.

If it happens, it happens, and midwives see it all the time.

What do you think about hypnobirthing?

@IABUQueen

You'll make colostrum and your newborn and toddler will both receive it.

Do you like being involved in twin births? My midwife never looks too happy to see me... 20 weeks pp with identical twins.

Thanks @Jemima232 I've been induced 3 times pregnant with 4th and just know it'll happen again - mortifying

Not likely I'll go into labour myself just doesn't seem to happen. I wanted to try water birth this time but I'm visualising a floater

Now I'm AMA so they definitely won't let me go over now!

@Changingagain

Can you say why you're being induced at 38 weeks?